I know what you’re thinking – who is this loser trying to sit with us in the cafeteria like we’re friends, when she’s barely talked to us in the last three months!
Guilty as charged.
Never brown cords, though.
It’s hard to believe it’s the end of the year already. It was a rough one for me at work, and very stressful, but it let up right around when hockey started and I turned my brain off for a while. Binge-watching every TV show from the last three years will do that to you! Now I’m going to start my 2015 on the right foot (skate?). Day One: going to the Winter Classic. Could this herald a return to regular blogging? Crickets packing their bags and moving out of this website? Hey, the mumps are back. Stranger things have happened.
Before we do that, here’s a look back at 2014. We still had a lot of fun, even if it was a little less frequent.
Number of Foxy Fridays: 17
This would be a sad stat, what with 52 Fridays in the year, except that our two most popular Foxy Fridays were group efforts.
#1. Team USA vs. Team Canada – in which Canada wins. How prophetic.
Meet me at the border.
No, the northern side.
#2. Ice Bucket Challenges – in which shirts are optional, abs are required and Jamie Benn delivers all that and a haircut.
Ice, because it was getting warm in here.
#3. Roman Josi – The most popular single-player Foxy Friday of the year was back on January 3, 2014. I’ll stop talking now because:
Sorry, you were saying…?
Number of Times a Player’s Mother RT’d his Foxy Friday: One.
Rich Clune, come back to Nashville. We’ll visit on the same weekend your mom’s in town and bring the mimosas. James Neal locks his door anyway, what are you worried about?
Number of Tyler Tuesdays: Eight (plus a Tyler Thursday)
One might have thought Chuck’s, um, admiration for Tyler Seguin could not increase after he was traded from the Bruins to some far away place she never intended to watch. But Tyler wasn’t having it. And by “it,” we mean clothes. Between ESPN Magazine’s “The Body Issue,” his mid-ice Ice Bucket Challenge and virtually every other no-reason-at-all, Tyler went topless at every opportunity and we thank him for his service.
Number of Times We Got Fiesty: One
We, as female hockey fans, may just be making progress on the whole “Girls’ Guide to Hockey” problem. As you know, the Girls Guide to Hockey is the same as the Guys Guide to Hockey, or just the Guide to Hockey. Because it’s the same sport. Watched from the same seats. You might think a player is dreamy, but a wide shot of an action sport where that guy is covered head-to-toe in padding akin to Kevlar is not much of an opportunity to ogle. (Exceptions: Some. Like when a helmet flies off.) I think it’s safe to say you’re not watching actual hockey games just because the boys are cute. That’s what we are for.
That grinding you hear is my last nerve.
The last time this story reared it’s head was January. Could we go a whole year without reading that we’re sycophantic idiots, pandering to our boyfriends, who get distracted by all the flashing lights on TV? Prayers.
Number of Posts about John Tavares’ Pants: 20-ish
John Tavares and his questionable pants selection were much on display in Sochi, prior to his injury. All options were considered, from sweats to jeans to suits and whatever is happening on the end there.
Walk, walk, fashion, baby.
What we didn’t expect was this, and other proof like it, that John is reading our blog.
Orange is the new pants.
Number of Times We Discussed James Neal’s Hair: 257
Speaking of people reading the blog, we’d be happy to take credit for James returning to his ginger-ish glory (if not to Pittsburgh). He even seems to be behaving himself with the media in Nashville. Don’t worry, he hasn’t totally changed. He still cares a lot about this:
Wait, that’s what my hair looks like?
:: quick shake ::
All fixed! Plus beard for good measure.
Number of Times Strombo became our Supreme Leader: Four
Help me pick a filter.
There were probably more in Canada, but since
hockey Strombo is not regularly on TV here, we have to settle for big events and online videos. He was holding steady in a close race vs. Cabbie until he got Tavares to eat Cheetos on camera, in front of Tyler Seguin. We’ve all seen Tyler’s abs. Proof that, like us, hockey players eat their feelings.
- Crosby interview
- Roundtable: Crosby, Toews, Lunqvist
- Rountable: Tavares, Seguin, Giroux
- NHL Awards
And Strombo understands the physics of a “sit down” with Sidney Crosby.
Lean back. No really, for safety.
Number of Times Mike Green Got Married: One
This could be the year we all became grown ups. I bought a house, a washing machine, got a dog. Mike Green got married and presumably celebrated the event with a tattoo.
Number of Times Jonathan Toews was Fun: Infinite
From a sense of humor at Halloween to acknowledging he’s “the real Canadian dream,” Jonathan Toews spent much of this year proving Captain Serious wrong and wearing shorts. Or while wearing shorts. If you can call these shorts.
I think they’re Spanx.
Number of Dinners with Sidney Crosby: One
I almost called this “Number of Times You Go Out in Pittsburgh and See Hockey Players: All.” It was true (at least for a weekend), ut a highlight is a highlight, and this is the light-y-est of them all. I’m still not even bummed we didn’t get a talk to him. Somehow, us trying to hold it together for four hours at the table next to the Penguins is so… us. It’s better.
The Pittsburgh Ten
Thank you all for another great year. I’m always thinking about you – or at least plaid suits, pleated khakis and Intern Jeff Skinner - even if I’m not writing about it.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!