I have to back Dawn up on this one. What the actual hell is going on, Caps? Is it asking too much from you (Mike Green) to, um, I don’t know… PLAY at all during the 3rd period? I know BB put you in time out. He probably sent you to bed hungry. And I’m sorry – I’ll give you a big hug. But come on. PS: Stop hitting Brooks in the face.
And Nicklas Backstrom, don’t think that Swedish helmet hair excuses you. You may be Piglet to our Winnie the Pooh, but you gave up that puck like last night was prom and you couldn’t wait to get your dress off.
Sorry boys, but I’m mad. Against all common sense and loyalty, you made me like you. With your bromances and your Vespas and your This-or-That videos and talking about Diet Coke all the time. With your Haagen-Dazs loving coach and your baby goalies. I went to your games. I moved to your city for %&@$’s sake!
All season I’ve felt traitorous. Blame 24/7. Crosby’s sending bitchy texts about losing focus and the ratio of Mike Green-to-Kris Letang blog posts. But it’s okay because you’re not in the Pens division. And now they’re golfing while you still have a chance.
So it’s your turn to do something for me. I’ve admitted how I feel about you. This is the part where you tell the world you love me back, even if we’re star-crossed and odds are against us. You sing “Can’t Keep My Eyes Off of You” to the whole school at lunch. You give me your Bobby Hull game sweater for Christmas. We can have one playoff run where anything is possible. Here’s your one chance, Fancy. Don’t let me down.