Intern Jeff Skinner here, announcing an Independent Study that I’m taking as part of my job with WUYS. Why not do more work, eh? It’s not like they pay me. My objective (as clearly stated in my WUYS Thesis Outline) is to get Pants and Gator to come to Raleigh to see me. I went to DC and they only came over for 10 minutes, then spent the entire time looking at Captain Eric. I know he’s blond. I KNOW!
I’m breaking out the big guns (and I don’t mean my new arms… this time):
See that bobblehead? The one with the Calder Trophy we’re giving away on 11/14? Match that to your Logan Couture teal nail polish, Pants! But it turns out Chuck will be in DC that weekend. WHAT. How about wall clings on 12/1 – perfect for the office! The car! But the freaking Penguins are in DC that night. First Chuck, then Neal. I might have to call that James Neal up right now and give him a piece of my mind. I have his number, did you know that Pants? Oh, you’ve secured DCPD cell phone triangulation equipment? Well FINE!
That’s right – I’m giving away a DATE. How do you like that? There are zero details on this promotion because I am mysterious and playing hard-to-get. And in case Pants wins, because then we’re going to Canada and I’m drinking a beer. I can do that now.
You guys should enter the contest – it’s right here [link]. Pants already entered, I checked. If you won, we could go apple picking or Christmas caroling and she’d be really jealous. We could go to Eric’s for pre-game meal, then I’d give you a jersey and score you a goal and everything. I hear girls love that stuff. Then I’d be all shy and embarrassed when they ask about you post-game but I’ll just say that I could hear you cheering loudest of all.