Wedding Party

Marc-Andre Fleury was handsomely married to his longtime girlfriend Veronique on Saturday.  We bring you highlights from the Red Carpet Show, with your host Sidney Crosby.

Sid: This is Captain Tiny Pockets, reporting live from… wait, what is that?  Neal, Tanger, are you seeing what I see?

James: Uhhhhhhhuh.

Kris: Busy checking out #18 there, in his plaid jacket.

Sid: Oh my, ladies and gentleman, we’re not really sure what we’re seeing here, but it appears to be approaching.

James: Look away, it won’t notice us.

Kris: I’m staying over here, brown elf shoes are not good for running away.

Sid: It’s come much closer now and we’re able to make out that it’s, well… is that what we think it is?

James: If I can’t see it, it can’t see me.

Sid: Yes, yes it is.  We have confirmed it is Max Talbot, arriving for the B Movie Horror Convention at the Baltimore Airport Holiday Inn.

Max: Hands in pockets, this is how you do it.

Sid: No, we’re receiving reports he is actually here for the wedding.  He’s getting closer.  Neal, what plan of action do you suggest?

James (backing away): Allow it.  I look much more handsome and gigantic now.

Sid: Since he’s wedding crashing, let’s get an exclusive interview with Max.  Talbot, WTF are you wearing?

Max: This is my wedding suit.  If I take off the bow tie, drunk bridesmaids think I’m the priest and start confessing all kinds of stuff.

Sid: They won’t let you in the church dressed like the Devil.  Have you gone down to Georgia?  Brought a fiddle made of gold?

Max: You’re wrong, Romeo.  Girls love dastardly-chic.  They’re all going to get on this drunk bus, and you’ll have to walk.

Sid: You are not invited to my wedding, Max.

James: Empty threat.

Sid: Shut up. Here are Flower and his bride!

All of us: Sigh.

Jordan: Flower! Hey Flower! Turn off your cell phone!

Vero (looks at Brent Johnson): I don’t think that’s necessary.

Heather Staal: Jordan, you said I would be the only one wearing Canes red. Damn it, Max!

Sid: Ladies, please. We have a live satellite transmission from the Russian forest.

Geno: Здравствуйте!  Sorry I could not be there, my date was not allowed on plane in traditional Russian wedding garb.

Sid: Is that a Vespa on your shirt? Oh, nevermind.  Here come the bride and groom again.

All of us: Gorgeous.  Both of you.  Adorable French babies who can spin like ballerinas, now please.

Sid: That’s it for our live broadcast, thanks for joining us.  See you next time with… James?  James?  NEAL!  (Drunk bus beeps as it passes, Max at the wheel and James waving from the window.)  Oh that’s it.  I’m trading Paul Martin, I don’t care how many omelets $5 million makes!

(All photos credit to 25stanley.com)

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Leave a Reply

  1. Why does Sid looks so confused?

    Max is officially my +1 to the next wedding I’m invited to…nobody will give a crap what I’m wearing or that I was too lazy to do my hair if he’s standing next to me in THAT

  2. Val Reply

    Bahahahahaha! The commentary with the pics…perfect!

    Heather Staal’s dress is what caught my attention…did she know that her slip was showing?

  3. Chuck Reply

    No. Max. Just no.
    Everyone else – yes. Even Neal in his lavender shirt.
    But you – no.

  4. Chuck Reply

    Is Max wearing slippers?
    Does he think he is Hugh Hefner?

  5. I love how Sid looks absolutely confused in every single picture.
    It’s so weird to see Jordan with a wedding band on… But I can get used to it.

    Congrats to Flower and Vero! What a beautiful couple!

  6. Teri Reply

    Super cute post, Pants. And I concur with Chuck. WTF, Max.

  7. Tracy Reply

    Hahaha! This post is perfectly awesome – except the Max and Jordan are no longer Pens – but other than that, perfect. Thanks for making me smile :)

    • spinfrog Reply

      Flower’s mom sent out the invitations and he forgot to tell her that Max and Jordan weren’t Pens any longer… or you can allow me to keep my delusion that they’re all still friends….

  8. BKNY1999 Reply

    LMAO!!!!! Wonderful commentary ladies :)

  9. Christine Brennan Reply

    Beautiful couple. Very funny commentary.

    The sex hair has been cut.

  10. Deanna Reply

    Commentary on these pics was spot on.
    Some rambling thoughts: James & Max, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Letang’s shoes are atrocious. Vero and Marc look perfect, of course. I also think Heather looks really pretty!

  11. MattyD Reply

    This made me laugh. ;-)

  12. MouthGuard Reply

    Hysterical post. Hilarious pictures. Many thanks – :)

  13. Most favourite WUYS post evarrrrrrr. And Flower + Vero? ENDLESS sighs. Stunning.

  14. Becky Reply

    Wow! I didn’t think it could get any funnier then I got to the Malkin picture. I nearly snorted my coffee through my nose. Thanks!

    Man, some of their shoes are horrible. If I made the type of money these guys make, I would never wear ugly shoes. That is so wrong.

  15. Brenda Reply

    @Becky, complete agreement on the attrocious shoes. Are the Rangers the only team that knows how to shop?

    Love this post, but Talbot’s outfit is going to give me nightmares. NIGHTMARES.

    Celeb nickname for the newlyweds: FloVer. Trademark!

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  17. Bree Reply

    Everyone looks confused