So it’s Monday morning and I’ve already torn my jeans and gotten the wrong ice tea from Dunkin Donuts. Everyone in DC is off work except for me, because the movie industry does not care about the alleged discovery of the New World.
Sorry Columbus. There’s only one way to save this Monday:
New Mike Green Workout Videos!
Something called Bear Mountain, which involves squats [link]
Sled Pushes [link]
And the best – Explosive Kesier Rotations [link], clearly directed by me.
“Okay, ready Mike?”
“Let’s try another camera angle.”
“Hey, I found the zoom.”
“And the super slow motion button.”
“Now Mike, does this workout have anything to do with you scoring two goals in your first playoff game in 2008?”
“Yeah, probably not, but let’s see the big goal video anyway [link], since it has infographics and innuendo-like captions.”
“That’s the kind of math we can understand. Now, any chance you’ll show us your long hair?”
“Eh, almost. Maybe next Monday.”