I can’t do a Foxy Friday when I’m this upset. Furious Friday, maybe.
You can read all about the depressing turndowns of the NHL and NHPLA competing offers at yesterday’s meetings in Toronto. I have seen enough.
The NHL took a swing at the PR tide by announcing a 50/50 offer to the NHLPA. It’s a smart move – 50/50 is like Buy One, Get One or the difference between $999 and $1000. In your mind, it automatically sounds like a great deal. Half of us would already be out the door with a second pair of shoes.
Alas, there were no new shoes. The deal wasn’t really 50/50, or no one knows what 50/50 means, and the NHLPA said they’d take an honest split so long as it honored existing contracts that may or may not have been signed originally during escrow so the value was changeable anyway. Got all that? Me neither.
It simply means there is still no hockey. Maybe we’re closer – at least they both said 50/50 in the same day. Maybe not, and Sid and Jon will now spend their unemployment with the Secret Service. It’s closer than Europe.
Wow, they are pissed. Me too! But I look like a Furby and they look like:
They make this look good.
It’s a little scary.
Still, don’t you get the feeling they could save the day, if only you’ll trust them?
Spandex suits would be convincing.
Let’s consider for a moment that you will never win an argument with Jonathan Toews. If your Orangina leaves a ring on his fancy coffee table, Jon will NEVER forget about it. He will look at the stain, then look at you with this disappointment and heartache for eternity.
No really, he’s mad.
Don’t expect any help from Jon’s mom, she always liked Sidney better than you. [link] Frankly, we cannot blame her.
Poor Sid. He’s spending the lockout laughing a Giroux, grocery shopping and building his new house. [link] We’ve spent the lockout wondering if he has those rainfall showers. Those are amazing.
In all seriousness (about the shower), this breaks my heart. It wounded me when he missed time, resurrected me with his comeback and then killed me when he had to sit. Now that he’s back… damn it, Universe. Just let him play already!
You can’t stop the Sidney.
What do we do now? The same thing we do everyday. Try to take over the world. A world in which Bettman works the graveyard shift at Taco Bell, but they’re out of the Dorito tacos and it’s non-stop verbal abuse from hooligan kids and drunks walking up to the drive-thru. (My hatred gets specific.)
A world in which this is every day:
Hawks alumni to play charity game on 10/26 [link]
Except Sundays, which are saved for:
girl shirt never stood a chance
Crosby considers European lockout alternatives… [link].
And we’re not the only ones with the hots for the Crosby-Giroux girlfight – Puck Daddy knows what’s up. [link]