Yesterday, Mike asked:
So are we, my friend. While we’re sure Mike would
look be great at lifting heavy things around the WUYS office, some actual work must be done here. We can’t just be watching the help all day long, asking them to get things off high shelves and turning the heat up full blast before they start rearranging furniture (Intern Jeff Skinner notwishstanding).
Let’s take a look back at a few non-hockey jobs that Mike is well qualified for.
Car salesman - We suggest more laying on the hood.
Construction Worker - You know, the old Diet Coke commercial kind [link].
Personal Trainer – We might need this one demonstrated a few times.
Chair – This kind of thing is probably in Ovi’s contract over there.
Hair Stylist – Because this does not just happen.
Chef – For long days of lockout-inspired emotional eating.
The Guy Who Makes This Face – Whenever your boss asks for something stupid.
Gravity Tester – Yup, still works. He’s got a lot of references.
Hugger - This should be an actual profession. Mike would make $6 million/year look like a bargain.
We’ll need to come up with new jobs for ourselves if this goes on much longer. Maybe Mike has some ideas.