As if the lockout wasn’t bad enough, Steven Stamkos hates me. He seems to think that in this terrible time, I should suffer even more.
I’m not even talking about those pants.
A beard?! Stopityouarekillingme! How dare you look this charming and reference the playoffs when the only hockey I can get is reruns of 24/7??
This is like a Christmas window full of presents I cannot have. And it gets worse.
A ginger beard. On James Neal. Who I should be seeing tonight at the Penguins/Capitals Halloween Hockey Extravaganza! DAMN YOU, BETTMAN! You’ve ruined my chance to freeze my butt off in a completely inappropriate and hilarious costume!
Just leave me here to die.
Note to the Staals: If any of you turn up with those Amish thing right now, I’m really going to lose my sh*t.