Intern Intervention

Remind a girl – how did we have fun before Twitter?

While this picture is funny (and by funny I mean ALARMING and BACK UP, HONEY), the best part comes from our friends at @Section328:

skinner

Now, now.  I like TSwizzle and have been known to bust into a sing-along at the top of my lungs.  Her bangs and eyeliner are always superb.  Let those of us who recorded a karaoke version of Paula Abdul’s “It’s Just the Way That You Love Me” on family vacation in 1988 throw no stones.  We enjoy Taylor as long as she’s not assuming the most fun we ever had at 22 was breakfast at midnight.

taylor-swift-shut-the-eff-up-gif

But Intern Jeff Skinner, it’s time for a review of your time here at WUYS.  The whole reason for your internship is to lift heavy things get me a candy bar learn valuable life lessons.  Apparently we have failed you.

First, you gave her your own jersey.  Ho-hum-humblebrag, but be careful.  A hickey from Kenickie is not like a Hallmark card.  If she’s going to wear your number, you should probably make sure it’s the only one she’s wearing.

Jeff Skinner

It’s not.

taylor2Bonus points for sparkly guitars.

Dear Pot, this is Kettle and I’ll call you whatever color I want.  The only person allowed to like this many teams is me.  

taylor3Nashville, makes sense.

Seriously, this looks like my t-shirt drawer.  And it makes no sense which is why I don’t get photographed by paparazzi.

taylor4 Her Leafs jersey looks purple.  Next lesson: color safe bleach.

And this.

taylor1Well she is from Pennsylvania.

How many of these guys are still Penguins, Jeff?  ZERO.  You don’t see JStaal running to give Taylor his New Storm jersey.  Take notes.

jstaal

Third, heartbreak does not qualify as a reason to take off work.  We aren’t going to make our own copies and screencap our own pictures of Mike Green’s hair.  The freezer is full of vodka, you cannot keep your misery-drowning pints of Chunky Monkey in there.

bridget We will watch Bridget Jones with you, though.

Mostly don’t make us pretend to hate a Taylor Swift song because it’s about you.  You are not a new Maserati on a dead end street (Mike Green, however, has a Maserati).  When you’re 15, which is now, and somebody tells you to run like heck you need to believe them.  I can go on.  We know trouble when it walks in.

Remember this?

Taylor-and-Sidney

No one cared it was the worst Photoshop ever.  Girls mutinied against the interwebs like Sarah Connor trying to take down SkyNet.  Imagine what they’d do to iTunes, Jeff.

hogwarts

Back to reality.

We have no reason to believe Intern Jeff Skinner is doing anything more than standing next to Taylor Swift, or that he broke up with his actual girlfriend (who we’ve never heard of but she’s adorable and on Canadian TV).  This is more likely a bid to buddy up to Ed Sheeran.  All signs point to a happy intern with no vindictive/addictive pop songs dropping in the near future.  Plus Jeff’s hair isn’t really up to Taylor’s standards.  No offense.

Take our advice on this one, Jeff, since you’re clearly not listening to other things we warn against.

jeff skinner

If you’re not following Jeff on Twitter then honestly I don’t know what you’re doing with your life.  He’s so pithy he clearly wants to us to let him blog.

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  1. “The only person allowed to like this many teams is me.” I wish someone would tell my husband this. SEE, honey? It’s OKAY. Ordering my Stamkos shirt ASAP.

  2. I’m pretty sure Jeff and his girlfriend were at the same TSwift/Ed Sheeran concert this summer that I was at. Hey universe, unless you’re going to arrange for me to bump into them, please stop putting all my favourite players at the same concerts as me. So close, yet so far away.

    PS – Jeff and Ed Sheeran – I very much approve of this friendship. And I’m going to go listen to Lego House now.

    • I keep forgetting how CUTE Patrick Kane was. PRECIOUS. And Faux Cabbie really dropped the ball on follow up questions.

  3. Rhonda Reply

    Taylor Swift did a commercial for the Nashville Predators several years ago…

  4. Heather Reply

    Here’s my thing: Everyone in the Twitterverse gives Bieber shit for doing the same exact thing as TSwift, but she can do it because she’s a girl?!? Um, just NO. I’m not a fan of either of them and it drives me crazy to see these two doing this jersey whoring! If they were true fans of the game, they’d pick a team (or two) and be loyal. My celebrity examples of how you hockey: Matthew Perry (grew up a ‘Nucks fan but has supported the Kings for years), Michael Keaton (ALWAYS a fan of Pittsburgh teams because he’s a hometown boy), and even CM Punk (wore a Hawks jersey at the wrestling thing last night). Also, let’s not forget the gone-too-soon Cory Monteith, whose death the ‘Nucks even tweeted their sadness about because they KNEW he was a lifelong fan!!
    Now, I don’t have an issue with people liking more than one team – hell, I do, too! But. I AM somewhat of a loyalist when it comes to jerseys and I will only ever own them of my #1 team! Sherseys of favorite players on other teams, though? I’m definitely in there….looking at you JoStaal, BRyan (Ducks, NOT Sens!!), Captain Serious, & Captain Cally!!