Jackpot! (I had to.)

The Penguins traded their annual Skates & Plates waiter gear for other ill-fitting suits this year and hosted Aces & Ice Casino Night last night. It looked like the World’s Most Awkward Wedding Party.

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But two drinks in, the bridesmaids are yelling, “DIBS!” and making shanks out of bobby pins.

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The dads, like Alison’s dad there on the left (not really), are warming up their, “Have you met my daughter?” speeches.

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While the groomsmen try not to look too drunk…

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Even if they have to count reaaalllllyyy sllooowwwlllly…

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And the married guys keep interrupting their attempts to flirt,

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When they’re not laughing because they know how much an open bar costs.

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But no matter how hard they try, there is always one guy who ends up going home alone.

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Here are the full photo gallery and PensTV Video. Celina talks so fast that I am out of breath before they even get to Crosby, but this is something you’d (er, I would) probably pay a fortune to attend.  There is far less chance of physical embarrassment dealing cards than carrying plates, and I can’t help thinking Beau Bennett is a lot safer in this low-impact environment.

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Twenty bucks says that Ehrhoff, tired of being left out, rigs the Secret Santa so he can buy Letang a selfie stick.

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Because he knows we love guys in glasses.

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The Dallas Stars also had a casino night this week. Furthering their quest to be Your Favorite Team, here’s video in which Jamie Benn admits his favorite part is “mingling with the female crowd” who sit at his table.

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No shame if you just tried to buy a ticket for next year’s event like this:

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Because:

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So:

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Leave a Reply

  1. How did you get that footage of me and my money?
    You didn’t hack my laptop’s camera, did you?

    Tyler’s jacket is magic…almost as much as his pants are.

  2. Kate Reply

    I think the Pens players should lobby to wear their own clothes next year–or we should lobby on behalf of them. Those vests are so very bridal party-esque and they look scratchy as all get out. (The ridiculous clip on matching bowties are giving me a flashback to my senior prom (Can You Feel the Love Tonight!) I mean, the Stars looked gooood, and I’m sure the Pens would gladly step up their game.

    All of this just makes me miss Katie O’Malley. Celina’s just not the same. She makes me nervous.

  3. Fatema Reply

    Aww they look so adorable. Looking sharp! er well in Sid’s case a little less awkward.

  4. oh no! I just did the ‘omg, who is that?’ and it was Downie. crap. stupid dress shirts and hair gel

    • whatevs Reply

      I have been trying to deny this all season. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. Somehow, he’s so wrong that he’s right.

  5. Who the hell is cutting Perron’s hair??? Who?? I demand to know this and why they are so committed to making a guy with eyes like that and normally full gorgeous hair look like a skeezy hick.