What's Up, Ya Sieve

Can I just lable all these photos “Hot like fire?”

You really wanna F%$k with me? Really? Because I can score on your ass too!

I got this one – SRSLY … I do. I got it. See?

Oh Dawn, if you were here, I’d kiss you like this. Thanks for all your support through the years even though you don’t like my team much.

This is one of my favorite photos – eva!

Most career wins, breaking Patrick Roy’s record of 551.

Most playoff shutout 24.

Most minutes played, breaking Patrick Roy’s record of 60,235 minutes.

Most games played, surpassing Patrick Roy’s record of 1029.

Most regular-season shutouts, breaking Terry Sawchuck’s record of 103.

He’s now also played a play-off game in every decade of his career as a teenager to his forties.

And if anyone saw the interview on Sunday, he was unfortunate enough to have Pierre McGuire wish him “Happy Birthday, mon ami.” YUCK –A-ROO! Short of Pierre kissing him and sitting on his lap during the interview, Pierre was more than his usual sycophantic self.  I not only wanted a bath, I threw up in my mouth a little bit. But as classy as Martin is, he took it in stride, smiled and got the hell out of there before Pierre could slime him anymore!

So a day late, but not any less enthusiastic, A BIG WUYS – WE KNOW YOU ARE NOT! – HAPPY 40^th BIRTHDAY MARTIN BRODEUR!

WE LOVE YOU!

The great oracle Orisis Jones was right as far as part of the West Coast goes:

That was our happy face after the sweep!

Not since 1993 have the LA Kings been to a conference final and that was when the Great One played for them – as in Wayne Gretzky.

WTF are the LA KINGS doing in the play-offs?

But that was before other brother Darryl Sutter took command. And all I can say is Capt. Dustin Brown’s mug shot makes him look like Dennis the Menace and I want to adopt him.

don’t let this sweet face trick you – he will destroy you on the ice

He had this fly save in the crease for Quick that was a game saver!

And still people have to ask why the LA KINGS are in the play-offs? Puppet Please?! It’s not just Drew Doughty that’s touched by god anymore.

Looks like just enough room for me guys!

I’m here to kick ass AND chew bubble gum. Lucky for you, I brought the bubble gum.

• Doughty certainly is a well-rounded player
• Doughty just skated down the Blues bench and told them they’d have to be quicker than that to throw a hit on him
• Doughty just got a free one off Elliott
• Who knew the Kings could go on such a winning streak without Doughty scoring

On a better note – Mike Richards is the only other player with a Gordie Howe Hatrick! The other player – Gingeroux!

I’m sexy and I know it!

So for those keeping count, the Kings are up 3-0 AGAIN in their series. For an 8^th seat team – that’s super totes. For a Sutter brother, it’s in the genes.

For the Blues, evidently, this is their way of keeping Doughty in check – evidently, they stole my diary:

Happy Birthday - Kris Letang! It's all Pants' fault!

Since Pants loves to blame her Caps obsession on me, I can only return the favor by blaming my Kris Letang obsession on her. I would have NEVER known about ANY Pittsburgh Penguin EVER if she hadn’t e-mail bombed me relentlessly photos of Kris Letang. And now I am helpless, helpless I tell you.

Um ... did I just see what I thought I saw?

He’ll drop the gloves and go toe to toe. Although we don’t want that beautiful face to suffer – please – but I have to admit, a black eye is a little hot! Pittsburgh proved they can win without Sid but they can’t without Letang. He’s earned his spot on the roster the old fashion way – hard work.

Seriously ... how does anyone resist ALL THIS?

If you insist, I'll vacation somewhere warm - again. Just for you.

thanks guys ... love you too!

 So the Kings making it past Vancouver was like this happening …

But my friends once in a blue moon dreams do come true! So taste the rainbow Kings fans!

yes, that's super model Rachel Hunter with the newly dubbed, west coast - 'bigboy hair'

But I’ll be honest, it’s nice that under all that is this too :

LA seems to agree with Mr. Stoll

After this weekend, the heat intensified over how Brendan Shanahan decides suspensions and disciplinary action. But for us women, there’s no secret. After the Campbell empire of nepotism and favoritism crumbled there was hope for a clean start. But after almost a year in the position it looks like The Plastics are back with 2.0 edition.

Here is Shanahan and Bettman at a press conference discussing the recent Torres suspension:

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1384659

This is what it must be like behind closed doors when they are deciding on disciplinary action. “Well Brendan, you have the physique of a 20 year old Zack Parise shooting down the cold freshly zambonied ice on a winter classic day with a crazed Shea Weber chasing you trying to smash you head into the boards.”

shanahan simply calls it in

ask henrik if this was worth $2,500 bowl full of crazy

My point is, discipline should be like justice, blind, fair and across the board. A hit should be judged on its own. Not if someone is hurt, not if someone is a popular or famous player, but as a stand alone on its own merits – as it were. This is simply not happening. I realize people are human but come on.

And don’t use Matt Cooke is the poster boy for this system – it was the Penguins who sat him down and said it’s your job or you’re out. That was the reason he change, NOT Shanahan or the new system.

Who knew such a baby-face bad ass awaited?

 Everyone knows I LOVE GOALIES! And one who gets kisses from Drew Doughty on a regular basis would be high on my list!

Care for a three-some guys?!

Jonathan Quick is a baby-face bad-ass! He’s a strong contender for this year’s Vezina Trophy, was a member of the USA’s Olympic Team who won a silver medal in the 2010 and is the ONE reason the LA Kings are in the play-offs this year.

He is the Merlin to the Kings’ royal court. HE IS PURE MAGIC.

Even the puck lives in fear of Quick.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Say hello to your 'motha for me!

How does this go on again?

oops - how'd I get in there?

don't let that smile fool you, he won't let you score!

GO KINGS!

This went beyond just hair-pulling ...

I don’t hate fighting as much as some other people. What I dislike is hypocrisy. Philly has never made any apologies for who they are. What shocked me was  Matt Cooke managed to stayed out of the fray.

Pittsburgh needs to decide quickly if they are going to play as a team to stay in the play-offs or protect Sidney Crosby from injury because they can’t do both.

But other than that, to lighten the mood there used to be someone who did Hockey Cats. So to continue the tradition, here is the weekend in hockey cats photos:

Mittens likes to live on the edge ... it's better than the tea-cup ride in Disneyland!

big Orange made a horrible goalie

Hey there handsome! yes, I embarrassed you in front of your team, that was me

Ok, I’m starting this off with I don’t hate the Vancouver Canucks. I just happen to LOVE the LA KINGS – even more so after seeing them last night. Look at the play-off beard!

do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Mr. Canuck fan? no wonder you're with another dude at this game!

F%ck you camera man! Telling me I suck. I made it on the Jumbotron anyway! so suck it ... we won too!

The one question I kept getting asked last night was – Why do you like the LA KINGS? Really? I saw Mr. Cherrie hold his breath hoping against all hope I wasn’t going to say something snarky so I waited until now: (our two little friends above the exit sign where AWESOME!) HI!

1. LA has a real goal tender – Quick doesn’t cry either!

Koppie tried flipping me a puck during warm up! totes love for you.

2. LA has Kopitar who can stick handle in a phone booth and I believe is about to cut loose because he is certainly due

He's all class and no sass!

3. LA has Dustin Brown with 2 shorties on them in their barn

Capt. Downtown Brown was trying not to laugh at my sign. Quick had a giggle too along with the rest of the team giving Doughty shit.

4. LA has Jeff Carter and Mike Richards now
5. LA has Drew Doughty (of course)

Drew also tried to flip me a puck during warm-ups!

Any questions? Didn’t think so.

This was totally staged for my pleasure because they were all laughing and trying not to look at me. Hello -Paging Kings Fan of One.

See ... they started laughing and 22 (Trevor Lewis) is a stone cold FOX

But I would like to give a shout out and a thanks to the gracious Canucks fans who let me stand in front of them during the warm-ups so I could watch. They were very nice about it and I truly appreciated it.

No other horror movie celebrates Hockey with such bad assery!

No, not the floating head of death again!

And Seidenberg tried to take Ovi out with this hit but he found that weebles wobble but they don’t fall down! If Ovi can knock Jagr into next year at the Olympics, you’ll have to try harder Siddy-bergy than this:

As for it being FRIDAY THE 13th – I know we ran this before, but there is no such thing in my world as too much Kris Letang so for your FRIDAY THE 13th MOMENT OF ZEN: