What's Up, Ya Sieve

Lying dead on the floor in front of my TV was not an ideal Saturday night, but at least I wasn’t the only one.  I won’t get down on the Caps for their game seven performance because it’s not what I want to remember all summer.

This year, I watched more hockey than ever.  I wore out the Center Ice Package and my DVR (and my husband’s patience).  I went to more games this season than in my entire life combined – 29, that we could remember, and every one of them a Caps game.  I gave up trying to fight it.

Just when you’re feeling down, you can count on Mike to take a photo of himself standing in the bathroom for you to find on the internet.

So thanks, Caps, for a season that was better for me than it was on the scoresheet: more fun, more memorable, possibly more frustrating than any game recap could recall.  Some of my all-time hockey fan highlights were written this year.  There were also moments of tough love when doors were slammed, channels changed – I once got so mad at Mike that I threw a fit and bought a Backstrom shirt out of spite.

Yeah, I’m crazy.  I just never thought it would be for them.

Now “there’s always next year,” and the year after that.  But what I’ll really miss is what can never quite be repeated – the ecstatic, hilarious, infuriating magic that is a single season, with a single team, and almost always ends too soon.

OK – SRSLY – I am so watching Tampa Bay now. Where have you been – Mr. Under the Radar.

I’m in love AGAIN! But that’s OK. It happens all the time. Y’all are used to it by now. With the hunt for Lord Stanley in full swing the rest of the World has this going on.

Look closely for the dancing ping pong players circling in the background. There are better things I can think of doing with those balls boys – just sayin’ if I was there.

Why can’t this get spread out … like over summer when there is a HUGE DROUGHT OF NOTHINGNESS going on?

Somewhere is Sweden there is a hotel packed to the gills with this hot mess happening (link). Varför kan inte detta vara mig på Viktor Hedmans knä?

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

Can I just lable all these photos “Hot like fire?”

You really wanna F%$k with me? Really? Because I can score on your ass too!

I got this one – SRSLY … I do. I got it. See?

Oh Dawn, if you were here, I’d kiss you like this. Thanks for all your support through the years even though you don’t like my team much.

This is one of my favorite photos – eva!

Most career wins, breaking Patrick Roy’s record of 551.

Most playoff shutout 24.

Most minutes played, breaking Patrick Roy’s record of 60,235 minutes.

Most games played, surpassing Patrick Roy’s record of 1029.

Most regular-season shutouts, breaking Terry Sawchuck’s record of 103.

He’s now also played a play-off game in every decade of his career as a teenager to his forties.

And if anyone saw the interview on Sunday, he was unfortunate enough to have Pierre McGuire wish him “Happy Birthday, mon ami.” YUCK –A-ROO! Short of Pierre kissing him and sitting on his lap during the interview, Pierre was more than his usual sycophantic self.  I not only wanted a bath, I threw up in my mouth a little bit. But as classy as Martin is, he took it in stride, smiled and got the hell out of there before Pierre could slime him anymore!

So a day late, but not any less enthusiastic, A BIG WUYS – WE KNOW YOU ARE NOT! – HAPPY 40^th BIRTHDAY MARTIN BRODEUR!

WE LOVE YOU!

The great oracle Orisis Jones was right as far as part of the West Coast goes:

That was our happy face after the sweep!

Not since 1993 have the LA Kings been to a conference final and that was when the Great One played for them – as in Wayne Gretzky.

WTF are the LA KINGS doing in the play-offs?

But that was before other brother Darryl Sutter took command. And all I can say is Capt. Dustin Brown’s mug shot makes him look like Dennis the Menace and I want to adopt him.

don’t let this sweet face trick you – he will destroy you on the ice

He had this fly save in the crease for Quick that was a game saver!

And still people have to ask why the LA KINGS are in the play-offs? Puppet Please?! It’s not just Drew Doughty that’s touched by god anymore.

Looks like just enough room for me guys!

I’m here to kick ass AND chew bubble gum. Lucky for you, I brought the bubble gum.

• Doughty certainly is a well-rounded player
• Doughty just skated down the Blues bench and told them they’d have to be quicker than that to throw a hit on him
• Doughty just got a free one off Elliott
• Who knew the Kings could go on such a winning streak without Doughty scoring

On a better note – Mike Richards is the only other player with a Gordie Howe Hatrick! The other player – Gingeroux!

I’m sexy and I know it!

So for those keeping count, the Kings are up 3-0 AGAIN in their series. For an 8^th seat team – that’s super totes. For a Sutter brother, it’s in the genes.

For the Blues, evidently, this is their way of keeping Doughty in check – evidently, they stole my diary:

I wish you guys could have seen me last night.  In a bar with twelve tables, eleven were filled with Bruins fans.  My dad and I, in my Backstrom shirt, were at the other.  The waiter didn’t bother to ask, he just kept the beers coming.

When Joel Ward scored, I jumped out of my chair and shrieked like we were at Verizon Center.  Me, on my feet and screaming, in a room of forty Bruins fans.  I wasn’t rubbing it in.  I was honest-to-God losing my mind.

I want to ask this team where they have been all season.  I want to know what Hunter says (or doesn’t say) to Ovi when he only plays 16:25.  I want to hug every one of them, starting with Mike Knuble and then Matt Hendricks.

This post-game interview says it all.  Ward hasn’t had a great season.  Hey buddy, who has?!  When it counts the Capitals are suddenly consistent and committed.  [Video]

And to anyone that felt a racist comment was the right reaction to Ward’s game winning goal, you can go straight to hell. [link]  I don’t care what team you root for because no one wants your disgusting behavior acted out in their name.

Back to the party.  Thank you, Capitals, for finally believing the way your fans have believed all season.  Nothing worth having is ever easy, and you sure put us all through the wringer.  This series, and that goal, and this goalie…. thanks for making everything worth it.

Here we come, Round Two!!

PS: Sorry to Chuck, and all our Bruins fan friends.  We know how you feel.  It was a such a great series that I will hate the Bruins with a new passion for the rest of my life.  Funny how that works, eh?  Think of all the fun we’ll have next year because you hate the Caps just as much.

Happy Birthday - Kris Letang! It's all Pants' fault!

Since Pants loves to blame her Caps obsession on me, I can only return the favor by blaming my Kris Letang obsession on her. I would have NEVER known about ANY Pittsburgh Penguin EVER if she hadn’t e-mail bombed me relentlessly photos of Kris Letang. And now I am helpless, helpless I tell you.

Um ... did I just see what I thought I saw?

He’ll drop the gloves and go toe to toe. Although we don’t want that beautiful face to suffer – please – but I have to admit, a black eye is a little hot! Pittsburgh proved they can win without Sid but they can’t without Letang. He’s earned his spot on the roster the old fashion way – hard work.

Seriously ... how does anyone resist ALL THIS?

If you insist, I'll vacation somewhere warm - again. Just for you.

thanks guys ... love you too!

 So the Kings making it past Vancouver was like this happening …

But my friends once in a blue moon dreams do come true! So taste the rainbow Kings fans!

yes, that's super model Rachel Hunter with the newly dubbed, west coast - 'bigboy hair'

But I’ll be honest, it’s nice that under all that is this too :

LA seems to agree with Mr. Stoll

Chuck and I are not talking about the Bruins/Caps series.  At all.

It’s actually working out, as we restrict ourselves to screaming at televisions and telling our problems to bartenders, strangers and anyone unlucky enough to gchat us.  I have discovered a hatred for the Bruins that I never knew existed, and I can only assume she feels the same about the Capitals.  Good thing we don’t have to care about each others’ teams like this in the regular season.

I’m on vacation in Florida and by the third period of yesterday’s game, my entire family was inside yelling at the TV.  Even my mom, who asked, ‘What inning is it?”, declared that Holtby was playing really well and she enjoys all the hugging.  I think she and Joel Ward would get along famously (seriously, in this photo gallery he is hugging everyone).

Yesterday’s game gave me fits, because at times it looked like the Caps of January and February – blown lead, spotty defense, a llama in ice skates where Ovechkin should be.  But they held on hard and got the late lead with this bullet:

Brouwer scores, assist from iCarly, and we call an ambulance to check on Gator.

So here we stand.  The Capitals are up 3-2 with the chance to clinch today in DC.  I’d be there if I could, but instead I’ll be at the pool bar, Backstrom shirt over my bathing suit, enjoying the discount beer refills and trying to keep my four-letter words to a minimum.  Not too bad, right?  Now I just hope I have to find someone to hug.