The power of Foxy Friday is surprising. Players have an eerie tendency to over-perform immediately after being featured – and it’s not always a good thing for us. When NYI’s Matt Martin pretty much ruined my life in Game 2 vs. the Penguins, I promised not to foxify anyone from an opposing team for the rest of the playoffs. These are dangerous times.
I wanted to feature a player who’s still playing hockey, since we have to get through the whole summer with guys playing golf. How to do that without cursing myself tonight? How about one of each?
Ottawa – Eric Gryba
Suspended two games in Round 1 for an earth-shattering hit that seemed clean to us, Eric Gryba is Chuck’s kinda guy. With that beard, he could be Rick Nash’s stunt double. He left Tuesday’s game with an ‘upper body injury’ after a big hit from Pens’ Brooks Orpik, and will not play tonight. Get well, Eric! (Just not well enough to score goals, or stop them, you know… that’s my disclaimer.)
Pittsburgh – Matt Niskanen
If you never looked past James Neal in the Penguins/Stars trade, you may have ignored Nisky back there on the blue line. Being adorable. Having “Norman” for a middle name. Talking like he’s from Minnesota with a shot of Texas. Maybe you saw him fighting Kyle Okposo in Round 1. Stupid brawl, but foxy black eye. Go ahead and score all the points you want. (@alisonsykora approves this message.)
New York - Derick Brassard
Rhonda suggested Derick for Foxy Friday and got a really huge NO from me, but I’ll include him here. Who does he look like to you? It’s not Logan Lerman. Someone on Glee? I feel like Derick is going to break into a cover song at any moment. I thought he was a rookie, but it turns out he was just playing in Columbus for 5 years. Maybe I’ll just call him Foxy Trade Bonus.
Boston – Daniel Paille
Chuck hopes the Foxy Friday luck rubs off on Pie, since he hasn’t scored in a bit. I think Paille looks much better without his heard. It’s the whole strong-jawed, Bryce Harper thing. But he can keep growing it as long as Chuck gets to keep watching her Bs – and he keeps hugging people this enthusiastically.
Los Angeles – Jarret Stoll
Jarret Stoll got hit by Raffi Torres in Game 1 of this series. Torres got suspended (shocker) and Stoll missed Game 2 last night. I don’t really get swoony over Stoll – are there any blond celebs he hasn’t dated? – but I like Erin Andrews a lot. If he’s good enough for her, he’s good enough for Foxy Friday. Here’s hoping he’s back in the Kings’ lineup soon.
San Jose – Joe Pavelski
Featured in this week’s BeardWatch2013 for his perfect 1:1 hair-to-beard ratio, Little Joe is one of my favorite Sharks. Also the Sharks’ TV commercials were a highlight of living in the Bay Area for three years. Enjoy Joe Pavelski – Lousy Detective, Joe Pavelski’s “Rest Homies” and just plain old Joe Pavelski.
Detroit – Jordin Tootoo
Things Jordin Tootoo loves: Instagram, his girlfriend, pictures of food and hockey fans. He is quite possibly the most exuberant NHL player on social media (minus Biz and with zero snark). Not only was Jordin the NHL’s first player of Inuit descent, but also the first from the Canadian province of Nunavut (Correction: Per shanes, it’s the territory of Nunavut. I have no idea what the distinction means, but I shall look it up!). There’s a place in Canada where not everyone plays NHL hockey? Dreams ruined. Jordin is currently benched in favor of Todd Bertuzzi (DISLIKE) – maybe this will put him back in the lineup.
Chicago – Brian Bickell
A long-standing Foxy Friday requirement: Must Love Dogs. Brian Bickell does. He and his wife even founded Chicago Loves Pits, an organization to educate and open hearts and minds about pitbulls. D’awww! I know the sweetest pit, her name is Luna, and this one’s for her. Brian also very gracefully handled the Blackhawks’ decision not to include his name on the Stanely Cup, and we love a polite guy. In a Christmas sweater.
There you have it, even-stevens foxiness across the board. Let’s see if it works.