Foxy Friday: Matt Niskanen

This took forever today because I was having too much fun.  It’s time!  Time for turtles and Minnesota accents and the true, though somewhat unsung, love of Penguins fans everywhere.  Unless you are me, Lindsay or Alison, then there is a lot of singing. Foxy Friday: Matt Niskanen Most of you met Nisky that time […]

Hope on the Rocks

The playoffs give me angst.  For the duration of the Penguins’ chances I will feel sick to my stomach nearly all the time.  A portion of that is desire to win, and a large chunk has been devoted over the last few years to hoping this isn’t the moment James Neal does something stupid. I’m […]

The Pittsburgh Ten

In Disney World commercials, a kid walks into the theme park where Mickey, Donald and all the characters are lined up waiting to greet her. You know, the kind of magical thing that never happens when you actually go there.  Unless you went with us this weekend to Pittsburgh. Lindsay, Alison, Emma and I arrived from […]

Hey, Big Spender.

If we had to brainstorm events we’d pay good money for, Sidney Crosby delivering dessert and wine would be up there on the list. The Penguins’ annual Skates & Plates event was held last night, where the players wait tables, raise funds for charity and try not to spill food on people.  (I’d take care […]

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike!

Guess what day it is? (I’ve been waiting a long time to make that truly terrible joke. If you don’t know: GEICO Hump Day commercial.) Mike Green scored two goals last night, including the OT game-winner. Including me jumping off the couch, from under a pile of blankets, which is the equivalent of true love […]

Put Me In, Coach

If I were the Penguins coach (or a mom, high school principal, etc.), I imagine there would be a lot of exchanges like this one from the new episode of In the Room [video]: James Neal being a shit. Me not stopping till Neal owned up to his problem out loud. Kunitz’s face. Followed immediately […]

Control Yourself

John Tavares wants to control his emotions:   That is, assuming he has any.  I certainly can’t control mine – this ad campaign gives me the stupid giggles, defeating the obvious intention to hypnotize me with John’s voice.  I half-heard it while dozing off, but I’m suddenly inspired to buy a lot of shaving cream […]

Good Sports

We know it’s not possible to be great at everything, and there are certainly times when you don’t want to show off.  Like Crosby rolling a gutter ball at the annual Pens & Pins charity event – that’s socially appropriate struggling.  He’s being a good sport. Then watch James Neal have a go at the […]

I’ll Buy That

I was right in the middle of working when this happened. Sidney Crosby Reebok commercial: “Home” Okay, day’s over! Blame Alison. There are also a few new Crosby commercials on YouTube.  Here’s my wallet, Reebok, just take it.  I don’t even care what you’re selling.   Let me pause that for you. Side note: I […]

Phone Home

I did not make this video. That’s right – someone interviewed John Tavares, complete with curls and a boyfriend shirt, calling his parents in sleepy morning voice while sitting on an unmade bed.  And it was not I.   You guys probably think I haven’t posted this because I died watching it.  Truth is, it’s been […]

Lethal Weapon

(Note: Lethan Weapon is one of the best bromance movies of all time. Bust out the VHS and watch it.) If you can’t hold a puppy or a baby, the next best prop for maximum cuteness is Evgeni Malkin.  I swear, if I baked a cake and that cake took a shelter dog for a walk […]

A Holiday Essential

Someone in the Penguins PR department is developing our sense of humor.  While the San Jose Sharks still win for the best ever fake Christmas CD [video], followed by the Blackhawks and Toews’ HOF derp-face [video], this year’s holiday effort by the Penguins is pretty hilarious. Video: Pittsburgh Penguins 2013 Holiday Card Made during Movember, […]

GLAAAAAAAAASES

I’m mad at you! I am still so mad at you for what you did that I don’t even want to see your… GLASSES????? Holy moly. There’s only one explanation for this.  James Neal reads this blog. I’m not kidding when I say I’m still mad.  James Neal and I need to have a long […]

All I Want for Christmas…

I need an ugly Christmas sweater for a party Saturday night.  Anyone have one I can borrow? Video: Happy Holidays from Your Washington Capitals  This year, remember that Christmas isn’t just about onesie pajamas and Joel Ward cracking up from the very first frame.  There is a deeper meaning.  Like when Ovi says, “Hey guys, […]

Terrible Tuesday

Get it, like Mikey Monday?  Well I can maniacally laugh now because the Caps just won an overtime comeback victory, but look at this: That would be 18 penalty minutes in under 12 minutes of game time.  Mike Green: Time Turner.  Making time out of time that hasn’t happened yet because he has that many […]

Buzzer Beater

If you’ve been reading us for a while, you know there are moments where I seem to control the universe. The Penguins being down 2-0 is not one of them.  Certainly not to the Bruins.  Out of love for Chuck, I generally keep my Bruins opinions to myself and I’m sure she swallows some bitter […]

Weekend Update

We have referred to ourselves as JamesNeal.com in the past, and I think we’ve done a pretty good job cheerleading our favorite gingerbeard. Now there is actually a JamesNeal18.com and honestly, it rhymes.  The whole glorious homepage is a Real Deal rhyme scheme.  I cannot compete with that. What James’ new official site does not […]

Think Good Thoughts

Let’s talk about something happy.  Something that isn’t what happened to Stamkos.  Something that doesn’t spur a combination of dry heaves, caterwauling and crushing bags of ketchup chips with a sledgehammer. Penguins, to the rescue. Yesterday was the annual Project Bundle Up, where the Pens take kids shopping for warm winter clothes.  What could be […]

Focus Features

If you’re the NHL’s First Star of the Week, you’re already having a time. It’s not really fair that you also look like this: Hi-res left/right Jeez, Stamkos.  Leave something for the mere mortals. These are (again) from the Sharp for Men November ’13 issue photo shoot.  You can download the issue for your iPad […]

James Neal Wasn’t Done

Puppies?  BAH.  That’s not enough.  James Neal noticed that some of you had regained consciousness after the pet calendar shoot yesterday, so he went to the Boys & Girls Club. Video: James Neal Boys & Girls Club Visit If you can’t play, this is a really great way to show off your hair and hoodie. […]