What's Up, Ya Sieve

If you want something in life, it’s best just to ask for it.

Today, I’m asking for a lot: BE SMARTER.

In case you missed the late night (Eastern time) Twitter riot , the LA Kings gave control of their account to KROQ radio host Kevin Ryder for the second period of Game 4 vs. the Sharks.  He did this:

Image from CBSSports.com

And because nothing is funnier than a rape joke, the Kings then had to do this:

I’m curious what you think.  Do you care?  Is a tasteless joke excusable or is an organization responsible for what they put forth, regardless of author?  We’re all desensitized to a certain amount of ingrained sexism and misogyny, especially in sports.  Where is the line?

Before turning over the keyboard, the Kings said:

How true?

Honestly, I’m all out of passes for people doing stupid things on social media.  We’ve already discussed how the trend-setting and extremely popular Kings Twitter account operates under the “Usually We’re Funny and Sometimes We’re Jerks” mandate [link].  We also talked about Asshole Day, celebrated by Duncan Keith and Tyler Seguin with various sexist/homophobic/moronic remarks [link].  My inner publicist dies a little when this happens.

I don’t want everything sanitized and I want these team accounts to have personalities and have fun.  Sometimes they will push boundaries.  But sometimes they will jump off the edge.  This is a failure on the part of whoever runs that ship to keep their sailors from going overboard.

Also, being upset that people are upset by something you said to upset them? No.  You worry about you, dude.  Be smarter.

On the ice, the Sharks were busy winning.  They’ve come back from 2-0 down to tie the series.  Maybe the Kings won’t have worry about their Twitter account for much longer this season.

MEMO FROM CHUCK’S DESK

Oh what fresh HELL is this! The last 12 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. First, the drama of the Bruins/Candiens game. Never ceases to amaze me how these games can take me to the height of joy down to the bitter pit of despair so many time in a mere 60 minutes. At the disappointing end of last night’s game, I went to bed all wretched but optimistic that today would bring some glimmer of hope…namely in the form of Jarome Iginla.

Nope. Sorry. Not happening. Ray Shero is a dream crusher and life ruiner.

Ray Shero is also a cruel thief and magical wizard. I don’t know how he does his voodoo magic to make these great deals without sacrificing a single roster player. It is just not right. It is downright Faustian.

hilarious post from www.stanleycupofchowder.com

Interweb speculations says that Iginla changed his mind after seeing the Bruins lose to the Habs last night but I highly doubt that his decision was solely based on the outcome of a single game. I’m betting that the Bruins and Pens were his top choices and after careful consideration, he went with the team that he felt was the better fit for him.

Although it pains me admit, right now the Pens do look like the better team, but I worry about their defense and goaltending.  Letang on the IR and Fleury injured are never good things.  Can new acquisition Murray and backup Tomas Vokoun fill the void? Debatable….

I truly believe that Iginla would have been a better fit for the Bruins and their style of play.  He could have provided that goal-scoring, finishing ability that the Bruins need and the Pens definitely do not.  They are front loaded with fire power. Can’t someone throw a little something our way?

Our twitter feed is going to be insufferable today – all the Pens fans that Pants added squeeing and fangirling all over the place and everyone else pissed that they didn’t get Ignila or annoyed with all of those Pens fans.

With a little over a dozen games left in the season, it will be interesting to see what happens in the Eastern Conference.  But remember, the regular season is one thing…it’s all about the playoffs.

MEMO FROM PANTS’ CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS

Wow.  It’s only 10 AM and I (as part of the Pens fanbase) have been called a lot of names, via every social media platform available.  As I’m clearly obnoxious, insufferable, gloating, cocky, a fangirl and an ignorant jinx who only exists to ruin other hockey fans dreams’ all while prematurely hoisting the Cup, there isn’t much to say except that I’m happy for my team.

Haters gonna hate.

The Pens were a hard nine yesterday and today they’re a 10+.  But hot or not, they’ve still gotta keep winning.  If anyone learned anything: it’s not over till it’s over.  That goes for trades and it goes for seasons.  (Oh, maybe they also learned not to report news until it’s actually fact.)

Shero had a hand, he played it.  Iggy had a choice, he made it.  I hope it pays off for both, and the Pens, and for me.

Today, we have a new lunchtime poll.

Don’t be jealous of our shoulderpads.

Where is the line between sass and being an ass when it comes to a team’s official Twitter account?

From last night’s game

You all know that during last year’s playoff run, the Kings Twitter feed was better than a lot of hockey being played by anyone who was not the Kings. Snark, hilarity and gleeful schadenfreude by a team on the way to it’s first Stanley Cup.  We loved it.

Picture and story from Puck Daddy, of course.

Still, this is an official mouthpiece of the team.  Twitter is increasingly the only media format fans see, especially in real-time, and the only one designed specifically for engaging with those fans.

At what point does team-sanctioned chirping become poor sportsmanship? Does self-deprecation make it less obnoxious?

After last night’s game

The Kings are on a little roll – they’ve won 5 games straight and moved into 5th in the West.  But it’s not like they’re the Blackhawks, and this isn’t the playoffs.  Do they need to slow their roll, or is this exactly the time to keep it going?

The Kings Twitter-splosion came at the magic moment – right before the Cup – giving them the unparalleled chance to make their brand of banter stick.  A lot of the casual and bandwagon fans that any championship brings must have been thrilled to find so unique a voice.  The Twitter account grew the Kings fan base just like winning did, and hopefully it held them through the lockout.

A few teams have tried it, most are wise enough not to because they can’t really pull it off.  It’s a delicate balance.  LA’s Twitter feed ranks 12th among teams in number of followers, even with all the hype  (thankfully CapGeek.com charts this).  They’re doing their thing at 194,000 followers, while the Canadiens, ranked #1, have almost 369,000.

Generally I think the LA Twitter feed is great, but last night they lost me with this particular comment.  It’s cheap, lame and not even funny.  God knows I don’t like the Wings either, but every team and fan has been on the backside of this equation in a game.  And it will happen again.

Remember that, and don’t be a sore winner.

Imagine the Penguins posted that during the Flyers game.  The Twitter birds would be lifting the state of Pennsylvania instead of a whale as we all rage-abbreviated into 140 characters.  It would be momentarily fun but ultimately gross, like the games at the end of last year.  Laviolette and Granato would be duking it out in Pierre’s dunk tank for sure.

Do those jackets have fight straps?

As a publicist in my real-job, there’s always the fear that once something is posted, it can’t be taken back.  It’s a double-edged sword.  I love the fresh fearlessness of the Kings Twitter, but shudder at the rolling snowball effect of being unable to rein people in who speak on your behalf.  Kids learn from their parents, right?

Sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all, even if this is also true:

He’s not on Twitter to spell things right.

I’m no advocate for censoring teams or players, but playing dirty is possible off-ice too.  A little media training wouldn’t hurt.

What do you think?  Is this a rare and refreshing example of someone in sports actually saying something?  Or would you prefer to see teams take the high(er) road, at least in print?

How can a hockey game be better than a hockey game?

When there’s tailgating.

Us on a nicer day (next time).

The fantastic folks of @Section328 invited me and my friends to their pre-game party on our Raleigh Road Trip.  Rainy, cold weather could not stop them from setting up the tent and busting out the Chicken & Waffles potato chips.

Surprisingly good, but not as good as the pork tacos.

As promised, there was a game of cornhole… at which I was bad.  Roberto Luongo on a bad night bad.  No one made fun of me (out loud), which is like no one laughing at Jennifer Lawrence for falling up the Oscar stairs.  So polite.

@MattyDTX trying to coach me.

Leigh showing Michelle (and everyone) how Raleigh girls do it right.

“Little Baby” Intern Jeff Skinner did not make an appearance at our party, but that’s just because he couldn’t have dessert – alcoholic chocolate pudding. Perfect for the school lunchbox.  (Patron XO in the pudding, Baileys in the whipped cream.)

It’s so good you might want to hog it all, no matter how gross that looks.

Derek at last call.

We eventually did make it inside, I promise.  PNC Arena is really nice and we had great seats for the game – perfectly situated between center ice and the nearest stand for $1 hot dog night.

Too bad Intern Jeff Skinner accidentally texted Stamkos instead of Staal (they’re right next to each other in his Contacts) to say we’d be there, watching and cheering.

The message was definitely received, because Steven scored this goal.  That could be me behind the glass, flipping my hair and thinking, “Don’t look, don’t look, just be cool”  while inside you’re in the front row at a 1D concert.

Tampa Bay won the game 5-2.  There was a lot of mismatched-size hugging while Eric made this face:

Good thing we always have fun even if we lose (or I’d never make it as a Caps fan).  If you’re ever in Carolina or planning a hockey road trip, hit up Section 328′s party.  They will not let you down.  Until then, read their blog for all your “informative hockey snark” needs.

Leigh, Derek, me, Mike. I think we were saying “Skinner!”

It’s Canes vs. Caps tonight, and the DC return of Alex Seminsssnnnooorrre.  I could not care less.  I’d like to see the Staals again, but I have to work.  And there’s no one to spike my dessert.

Thank you, @Section328!

On January 6, pretty much every team posted the standard NHL announcement on the end of the lockout.  Doubtless the human beings at the other end of those Twitter accounts were doing backflips and splits like the rest of us, but officially they had to toe the line.

Here’s what the players said.  These guys who missed the game more than we did, who cannot wait to get back to doing what we love to see them do.  Let this remind everyone why we supported them through the lockout, and be super-extra-glad it’s over.  This week, feelings are foxy.

Starting with James Neal, who knows exactly what to say to me.

I mean, play it.  It’s our song.

One word from Biz is never enough, of course.

The lockout is making people CRAZY.  First Toews is using a baseball bat for hockey and Giroux, a golf club.  Crosby’s wandering free in civilian clothes, striking fear into the heart of pockets everywhere (and fangirl sobs into ours).  Patrick Kane took his mom to Switzerland, for heaven’s sake.

Now I’ve figured out where Intern Jeff Skinner’s been all this time…

Back in June at the MuchMusic Video Awards… stop.  Hockey players at pop awards shows and people actually know who they are?  BLESS YOU, CANADA.  NHL players can barely get on the ESPN Espy’s red carpet here, and only because someone assumes they are Jessica Alba’s bodyguards.  Anyway, I digress.  At that magical show, this happened.

That’s Intern Jeff Skinner’s mark, as far away from a girl as possible.  We did convince him to rock the white v-neck because all the cool kids were doing it.

Just when we thought it was business as usual, a photo of Jeff and Degrassi actress Cristine Prosperi!  He’s still doing the hoverhand but at least he’s next to her.  God, the awkward prom glory of it all.

Then right afterward… dammit, Tyler.  We obviously assumed the obvious obviousness of this, which ended in Jeff getting a ride home with Subban and Seguin, well, being Seguin.  WUYS hopes and dreams shattered.

Until now.  This photo, posted actress Jessica Tyler (on the right) from the Degrassi wrap party last night, was captioned “Couples Retreat.”

You like how I wrote that as if I know what it means?  Some things are so Canadian they are beyond even me, like Degrassi.  Rumor has it the show aired in the States, but if it fell out of the sky and landed on me, I wouldn’t recognize it.

It landed on Intern Jeff Skinner instead, he seems pret-ty happy about it.

With nothing else to go on, we give this Cristine Prosperi girl our approval based solely on her excellent taste in polite and handsome young men.

It’ll be great when we have her over for an awkward meet-the-bosses party, and she and I leave dinner to do the “Beauty and a Beat” round on Just Dance 4.

This post is brought to you by all those years I spent reading Teen Beat.

The NHLPA and NHL cannot get anything done.  Neither can I.   Only the reasons are different.

The NHL sees this photo and says: So you think you can dance?

The NHLPA posts this photo and says: Goonies never say die.

I see this photo and say: Where is my damn Mexicola, Intern Jeff Skinner?!

Just put me out of my misery already.  Every laugh turns into tears.

I seem to have failed, through all the posts and games and screaming fits, to truly appreciate one aspect of hockey’s influence on my life: stress relief.  Sure I get worked up about the games – rip a pillow, maybe throw a shoe – but it vents all my work frustration at the same time.  Without it, I’m really snippy.  I need to run daily, faster and farther than normal, and anytime I see the Yankees on TV I start growling like a lion in the zoo.

Hockey: cheaper than therapy.  Come back soon.

To break that tension, let’s ask Tumblr how our favorite NHL players are spending their days.

iCarly wins you over on the issue of his hair by strutting the rest of his impressive self.

Karl Alzner tries to distract you by walking away.

We don’t know, Karl.  Mike’s got a cute date too…

Meanwhile Taylor Hall is home alone, rapping the Nicki Minaj part of ‘Beauty and a Beat’ into a wooden spoon while he bakes sad, lonely brownies. #its3012tonight

Equally sad (because RNH can’t bake) is Ebs, just watching his highlight reel and waiting for Hallsy to get to OKC.

At least Bobby Ryan has better taste in TV (I’m talking about GL, people!).

And Richie’s found someone to hate on since Crosby’s too far away.

While everyone else is in lurrrrrve and shouting it all over town – Gingeroux’s Tweeting about his girlfriend, Max Talbot’s posting photos and I heard that Rick Nash got engaged.  Chuck, is there something you’d like to tell us?

The girls are all in a tizz on the Twitter over this Crosby video, and now I can finally see why.  DAMN COLORADO, what is in your water?  Is that why Gabe is so Gabe all the time?  We thought it was Sweden.

Sid has never looked better… he even seems fit to burst out laughing any second.  Not saying I don’t want him back cross-checking someone in the crease but vacation has done this man some serious good.

Now honestly, stop. You’re ruining my life.

Don’t give me that aw-shucks crap.  Every time you say “stick” or “quick release” or “hard shot” some teenybopper faints and Intern Jeff Skinner has to fetch the smelling salts again.

Jeez, with a smile like that you could see me a bridge and I’d tell you to keep the change.

The moral of this story is that Tyler Seguin still isn’t wearing a shirt.

Adorable family, but where is Marshall the puppy?  Does he have an iPad so we can Face Time?