What's Up, Ya Sieve

One night of the 2013 NHL Playoffs is in the books.  Everybody still with us?

Blackhawks vs. Wild

The Hawks didn’t play their best, but they squeaked one out vs. the Wild.  As the regular clock wound down and overtime became imminent, we all did this:

Every damned time.  In last year’s first round, 5 of 6 Chicago games went to overtime.  I cannot handle that again.  Still this series could be better than we expected – apparently the Wild didn’t read anything that anyone wrote.  Good for them, if not for me ever getting to bed before midnight.

Danica Patrick was on hand in a Patrick Sharp jersey.  She proved herself a Blackhawks fan not by making the first of three goal shots during intermission, but by derping as well as we’ve ever seen a derp.

This face should come with a free #19 jersey.

In the most impressive story of the night, Wild #1 goaltender Nicklas (not Nicky) Backstrom was injured during warmups and replaced by Josh Harding.  Harding played just 5 games this season, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis sometime last fall [link].  Asked about all the adversity, Josh said “No comment” over and over until reporters asked him about last night’s game instead [link].

That’s bad ass, Josh.  We want the Hawks to win, but you make them earn it.

Blues vs. Kings

OT was also required in St. Loius, where the Blues won the game on a goal that makes me want to throw up.  Not out of displeasure, just nerves.

Off all the things to happen…

It was scored by Alex Steen, who had the Blues only other goal of the game.  In Jonathan Quick’s defense, did you see last year’s playoffs?  He’s not worried.  He kept the Kings in this game while they were outshot 42-29 and he will do the same again tomorrow.

Ducks vs. Red Wings

Finally, Anaheim vs. Detroit happened in the middle of the damned night.  Of course it was Teemu Selanne with the Ducks eventual game-winning goal just into the third period.

Back in ’07, 36-year old Selanne eliminated the Red Wings from the Western Conference Final with an OT goal.  At 42, he’s still:

The Red Wings had only 11 shots through two periods, then another 11 in the third but they couldn’t get the tie.  The Ducks notched an empty netter at 19:37 to put this one away.

How did you hold up?  Not well judging by some of your Tweets.  Any tossable items broken, binge drinking or declarations of eternal love/hate yet?  I’m pretty concerned for my well being tonight during the Penguins game.  Tomorrow’s Capitals vs. Rangers opener will be even worse.  Already…

You’ve all seen what happened in the Penguins/Islanders game on Saturday.  I feel obligated to talk about it, so you know I’m not weeping in a ditch.

It started out so well.  We were all distracted by shiny things:

Then 87 seconds in, Sid got a friendly-fire puck to the face.  Yes, 87 seconds.

Fate, you are a bitch.

Maybe Sid should just sit out vs. the Islanders forever, since he seems to always get hit in the face during these games. [The last time.]

I was watching the game on my phone, at a Greene Turtle sports bar.  My waitress, a Flyers fan, must’ve heard my muffled scream because she came rushing over and we huddled around the little screen watching while my lunch got cold.  Even she was worried.  I left her a huge tip.

For all the times I’ve said “NOT THE FACE!”, I primarily mean one face in the entire hockey world.

But Sidney Crosby cannot catch a break.  He had “extensive” dental work and surgery to repair a fractured jaw.  He’s out of the hospital but still swollen, can’t chew and can’t talk.  That would put me over the edge, but Sid is reportedly in good spirits.  Because he’s awesome.

Crosby wrote that he’s resigned to a diet of “soup and shakes for a while” and that verbal communication is pretty much out of the question “for another couple days” because he is “pretty swollen right now.” - Pittsburgh Post Gazette

I was a little embarrassed by my level of concern on Saturday.  I’m not that worried about his face because:

1. He can afford really great doctors, reconstruction, a Bane mask, etc.
2. HE’S SIDNEY CROSBY.

He’s still going to look like this when it’s over.  Maybe a scar, a few fake teeth.  We like hockey players, remember?

Gah, I’m just torturing myself now.  I also barely avoided a ragestroke over the number of people who feel an injured player is either the result of karma or the punchline of a joke.  Just walk away, Pants.

Obviously the true concern is any concussion-like symptom that an 85 mph puck to the face could cause.  It looks like we’re clear on that front.  Outlets are reporting that Sid intends to be back by playoffs, and many are saying don’t be surprised to see him sooner.

The Pens have him listed as “out indefinitely” – that doesn’t mean FOREVER.  It means THEY DON’T KNOW.   The caps lock is for myself, so I don’t freak out.

Pittsburgh still has everyone else (except Letang and a starting Fleury), a 15-game win streak and the lead in the East.  They’ve been getting it done with holes in the roster and I expect the last 12 games of the season to be no different.  They’re home vs. Buffalo tonight – let’s assume Sid will be on the couch with an ice pack of frozen peas and a milkshake. watching this happen.

I will be doing the same.

Variety is the spice of life and sometimes here at WUYS, we need to mix it up.  For today’s Foxy Friday, we delve into the world of college hockey and select Boston University forward Matt Nieto as the newest member of this illustrious club.

Now, I know that you probably have a few questions like  ”Who the hell is Matt Nieto?”  ”What qualifies him for this prestigious honor?”  ”Does he have a mullet in this picture?”

First off, yes, that is a mullet.  Yes, we kinda dig it.

His Foxy Friday qualifications are obvious.  Not only does he have the eyebrows, which we appreciate,  Nieto has also got some serious hockey game, like all the Foxy Fridays who came before him.

The 6ft, 192lb junior forward from the LBC has 28 points in 32 games this season for the Terriers,  include a week when he had 7 points in 3 games.  Six of those points were goals, including a natural hat trick and Nieto was named Hockey East co-player of the week.  In fact, Nieto has been named Hockey East top performer 5 times this season.

As of today, Nieto leads the Terriers in goals (15 G) and is in a 3-way tie for 2nd on the team in points (29).  Last season, he averaged a little over a point a game (42 points in 37 games) and had 26 assists.

So essentially what that means is that when Nieto is not on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G, he’s busy being a boss.

Nieto is foxy because he is a super fun and talented player to watch.  He has great speed and in four strides can accelerate past opposing players and get to the net.

He has a “nose for the net” as they say, and if he gets the jump on the defender and gets the puck into the offensive zone, there is a pretty good chance that he is going to finish.  He has a great release and is becoming more confident shooting the puck as evidence by his 103 shots on net this season.

As a season ticket holder, I get to watch him play almost every weekend and each time he touches the puck, you get this little flutter in your tummy like you know something really awesome is about to happen .

Like scoring goals while you’re getting hauled down
courtesy of terrierhockey.tumblr.com

 Last year, BU lost some key talent who decided to go pro after their junior year and I am wishing and hoping and praying that Nieto doesn’t leave as well.

He very well could wear the “C” for the Terriers next season and has all the makings of a captain.    Another year playing at the collegiate level would afford him the opportunity to develop physically as well as developing his skills and leadership, making him all the more ready for the NHL.

Rumor has it that Jonathan Toews is his favorite player.  No secret how we feel about JT so we will say this –  if Nieto’s game develops into anything remotely close to Captain Serious’, it’s going to be pretty freakin’ awesome.

Watch out, guys. Serious hockey player coming through.

In 2011, Nieto was drafted by the San Jose Sharks in the 2nd round (47th overall).

Well played, Sharks.  Not only are we super excited that he could become friends with Jumbo and Logan “Rookie of our Lives” Couture but also, because we’re betting that Nieto’s cornhole skills are way better than Patrick Marleau’s…but not better than my brother’s.

It’s been scientifically proven that being named a Foxy Friday brings you good luck.

Tomorrow night happens to be Terriers’ final  game of the season.

Another hattie?

Just sayin….

Follow Matt on twitter at @matt_nieto

This week, we honor Viktor Fasth, goaltender for the Anaheim Ducks.

Fasth has burst onto the NHL scene in this shortened as the back-up to Jonas Hiller in Anaheim.  Initially, Fasth wasn’t expected to play much but instead has dominated in a most unexpected way.

The Ducks are on a winning streak and the rookie goaltender is 4-0 as a starter.   This week, he got his first NHL shut-out with a 3-0 blanking of the Colorado Avalanche.

Fasth leads the league with an infinitesimal GAA and impressive save percentage.  In fact, he’s allowed only 4 goals this season and the Ducks are currently 1st in the Pacific Division and off to their best start since they won the Stanley Cup in 2007.  This upsets my cousin Tom and WUYS Contributor, Aaron very much. (They are both Kings fans).

Coach Bruce Boudreau has a problem that every NHL coach would kill to have – two great goaltenders, playing well, and winning games.

No doubt that Fasth is a goalie to watch this season, but there are a few other reasons why he is deserving of this honor

• His name is seriously cool – Erik Sixten Viktor Fasth.  This is not the name of a hockey player. This is the name of a Swedish prince.  Also, his last name amuses us.  No lack of “Fasth and the Furious” puns here.  (Side note: Pants is WICKED excited about the new Fast & Furious movie. Like seriously. She loves her some Paul Walker for eva and eva.
• He was born in 1982, which makes him 30 years old. Age-appropriate, ya’ll.
• He has perfected his “Hey Gurl” face.

• He must protect his house. Always.

• 

  

  The hair.  The hair alone is worth the honor.  He seems to have been diligently studying Mike Green and James Neal post game video clips (and this blog) in an effort to achieve that perfect “undone, yet perfectly done” look that we so admire.  Mission Accomplished.

•  Again, the hair.  And also the suit.  And the face. What is it with these Swedish people?  Sweden is like an alternate universe were all citizens have been genetically engineered to have perfect hair and have impeccable style.

Well there you have it – Sweden wins again.

We love this beautiful country.

Not only for its affordable, yet slightly infuriating to assemble furniture, but more so for their ability to produce countless Foxy Fridays.

Keep ‘em coming, Sweden.

To start the first period vs. the Islanders last night, James Neal scored his sixth goal of the season.  To end the period, he took a penalty.

He’s too busy to fix his hair for interviews.

NOPE.  It’ll be a sad, scoreless day in the ‘Burgh before Nealer doesn’t care about his flow.

This .gif is even better for it’s choppiness – it’s like he performs a magic trick and doubles the amount of hair with the wave of his hand.

A wonderful person even filmed it off their TV so you wouldn’t miss out: link.

The Pens won their 7th game of the season, putting them atop the Eastern Conference with 14 points.  Look at these two – James is mesmerized by Kris, Kris is mesmerized by what I can only imagine is Sid off-camera, nose stuffed full of bloody cotton from a puck to the face, but still.  They’re so googly-eyed they can’t even high-five.

Nealmobile was 1st Star of the game.  Here he is being borrrrrrrrrring in a snuggly sweatshirt on NHL Tonight [link].

Read more about James’ recent success and how he honed that wicked shot from the Ellwood City Ledger.  Frankly there is a limit to the number of times I can hear “stick” or “slot” without giggling.

Pens vs. Caps – Round 2 tomorrow night in Pittsburgh, on NHL Network.

You know where I’ll be.

Penguins vs. Capitals should be a rough day for me, what with my love of both teams.  Yet it never is.

Of course Mike Green had a goal ysterday – a lovely, wide open one-timer past former Caps goalie Tomas Vokoun to tie the game against my Penguins.  Just flexing his muscles when my eye starts to wander.

Ignore the clip-maker who doesn’t know Holtby plays for Washington.

I was cheering for him on the inside, just a little.  It’s like horizontal running. Then I hid my face when his official homeless-themed roster photo appeared on the scoreboard.

The goal was Mike’s second of the season, in 9 games played.  Last year he had only 3 in 32 games, with the rest of the season lost to injury.  Both of his goals this year have tied their respective games.

Also in yesterdays game, he and James Neal collided more than once.  I felt that, let me tell you.

Mike’s goal and the Caps effort were not enough yesterday – and I am not sorry. There was much too much of this going on:

And this.  Chris Kunitz had a hat trick, Crosby had 3 assists, Letang and Cooke each had 1 G/1 A.

I had too much cold medicine and the spins from watching the Pens warm up from the front row.  You try to make it through 17 minutes of Nealer doing this, only closer.

Not from yesterday, still 100% accurate.

While I was cheering loudly and often for the Pens, they could have been better.  The Caps played pretty well, except their power playis like watching that revolting Go Daddy Super Bowl kissing commercial for two minutes straight. Vokoun had to be very good in net, and he certainly was.

It’s not his fault iCarly scored the weirdest goal I’ve ever seen:

Crosby’s got a 4-game point streak going… and the tiniesthint of a mustache.  No no no!  Why can’t his superstitions run toward shirtless push-ups after every game?  Don’t make me hate points, Sid.  The Pens face the Islanders Tuesday night, then rematch against the Caps on Thursday in Pittsburgh. Will this still be going on (because you know it won’t be any darker by then)?

Post-game interview, ghost-stache is action here.

In this season’s first episode of the Penguins series “In the Room,” you can learn all about Joe Vitale, the very short pre-season and other fascinating hockey-related things.

Then forget them all in the last 10 seconds.

The next thing Sid will have to pick up off the floor is me.

You can watch the whole episode here.  The Crosby Bend & Snap is here (gif) or here (very end).  Haha, I said ‘end.’

The Pens face the Rangers tonight, with matching 3-3 records.  Pittsburgh lost an awful – so bad that Crosby’s jeans couldn’t fix it – game to the Islanders on Tuesday.  New York squeaked out a 2-1 win over Philly that cost them captain Ryan Callahan, who hurt his shoulder grappling with none other than Max Talbot.  Luckily for the NYR, Cally will only miss 10-14 days [link].

Pittsburgh has lost 3 of their last 4 games, while New York has won 3 of 4.  Their first meeting of the season ended in a 6-3 Penguins win that bounced Lundqvist in the second period.

James Neal scored two in that game vs. NYR… and only one goal since.  Maybe since it was tight t-shirt time, he’ll get back on the board tonight.

Do these shorts make me look fat?

The surefire way to break a streak is for me to post about it, so apologies in advance to the Sharks and/or Blackhawks.  Blame NHL.com, they did it first.

The San Jose Sharks are 6-0.  Surprised?  So is Patrick Marleau.

HA!  Actually, Patty always looks that way.

But we are impressed.  Nine goals in six games for the former Foxy Friday.  Last year he scored 30 times in 82 games – this year he’s on pace for 72 in 48.

Also putting up big numbers for San Jose are Jumbo Joe (Thornton) and Little Joe (Pavelski).  Last night, the Sharks struggled through two periods and it took a late goal by Rookie of My Life Logan Couture to tie Anaheim.  Marleau was held goal-less for the first time this year.  But in the shootout…

Six straight wins is the best in Sharks franchise history.  Recently the Penguins announcers were discussing whether 33-year old NHL players should be considered “aging veterans.”

What do you think, Marleau and Thornton (and Pants and Chuck)?  Anyone older care to chime in?

San Jose has given up only 10 goals against, second only to the Devils (9, try calling Brodeur old).  They play tomorrow night vs. Edmonton.

The Chicago Blackhawks are 6-0 too.

Stats, stats, stats, sweaty Viktor Stalberg blinking magnificently…

Sorry, lost my train of thought there. [Video]

The Hawks have won a number of tight contests, including two one-goal games and two OTs.  Six wins is also a franchise-best for this 85-year old team.

We talked about PKane’s hot start, but Chicago’s getting solid output from all their top players – Kane, Hossa, Sharp and Toews lead the team in points.

Wayne Gretzky said, “You build a pretty good hockey team around Kane and Toews and Hossa, and right now they’re hitting on all cylinders, they’re going to be a tough team to beat.” [Video]

They play tonight vs. Minnesota in a game the NHL Network would have you believe is a big time rivalry.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Hey @linzerellak & @jfrancesw, what do you think of the Hawks start?  

Okay, I kinda get it.  But what is THIS about?!

Roster photos are like a walk through a mine field.  Never have so many attractive guys looked like they were kidnapped, stuffed in a trunk and taken to a Walmart Portrait Studio.

Remember that one parent with the plastic comb that “fixed” everyone’s hair on school picture day?  That parent was absent from the Penguins locker room.

I just woke up and why are there girls here?

I just woke up and where is Lazy?

I just woke up and yeah, I look pretty good.

Meanwhile, all capable Pens grow light brown facial hair.  That’s an order.

Vitale, Orpik and even Paul Martin, looking a little like Justin Timberlake, no?

The Blackhawks must have had a big night out before their photos.  This has Walk of Shame written all over it.

Vampires are passé now, Seabs.

But not Toews.  He doesn’t like fun.  He wakes up every morning looking like the high school quarterback who never signed your yearbook, just left you dreaming about that time he breathed on you in the hallway outside English.

I don’t know what happened to Viktor Stalberg here, but this picture isn’t even on Tumblr.  It’s been shunned by the church and we don’t talk about it anymore.

The Capitals, oh man.  Should I be worried that this half of the team:

Pink edit,but I couldn’t find Brooksy anywhere else!

.. isn’t friends with this half of the team?  Because friends don’t let friends get photographed like this.

Then again, has anyone told Mike Green?  I will submit this whole blog to “What Not to Wear.”  Exhibit One: From last year to this year…

I am 99% weeping and 1% wondering if he has the stigmata.

Tampa Bay obviously has the right idea about photos in general, what with the beaches and the shirtless and the flexing.  But here, Vinny has never looked so French.  He’s the mean food critic from Ratatouille.

Tom Pyatt has the look I get when trying to remember if he’s Tom or Taylor.

And of course, from the Jonathan Toews School of Upstaging Everyone:

Hey girl, let me help you with that yoga pose.

Now that Ebs & Hall have As up in Edmonton, RNH can’t figure out who he should be listening to.

I’m smiling. Smiling’s cool.

Don’t smile. Smiling is for losers.

Mom and Dad, stop fighting!

I can’t deal with the Hurricanes right now.  The Southeast Division is too crowded with people I love for Jordan Staal to be both Jordan Staal AND be in this jersey.  He needs to pick one.

Because there’s already Intern Jeff Skinner.  Look how proud he is of that hair.

It’s not surprising the Rangers run a tight ship.  Like the Yankees before them, their grooming standards are top notch and they don’t let just anybody in looking homeless and hungover.  Looking foxy is very serious in NYC.

I don’t see new shots of Nash & Richards, so I’m holding out hope we can mess up their hair first.

Update: All the Rangers photos. We didn’t get there in time beat slicked-back. (Thanks Beth!)

I’m not going through the Senators roster because frankly, I don’t know them well enough.  I do know that when 95% of your team is smiling for the camera, like they’re actually really excited, that I get excited too.  Overall best in show so far, Ottawa – except that one guy circled below.  Party pooper.

A quick search for San Jose yielded only one photo – but it’s enough.  Just put this down for every name on the roster.  Brent Burns appears to be guest-starring on Sponge Bob Square Pants or Moonshiners.

Cosmopolitan’s Hottest Shark, folks:

More teams as the photos continue to roll in!

There is only one way to describe how I feel right now.  I’m on my way to NYC for a three day vacation and let me tell you, the NHL Store better have Eberle shirts!  I am coming for you!

I love you guys.  I love Sid & Tazer, Mikey & Nicky, I even love Ovechkin right now.  I love Alex Semin and Scott Hartnell and I don’t know who else.  Carey Price, probably.  I love Mike Milbury and hell, I even love Pierre Maguire today.  Maybe in NYC I’ll see Brad Richards and I swear I’ll hug him and won’t even mention that playoff goal with 6.6 seconds left!!

Here’s the story.  For a bunch of jerks who walked away from the table as often as I want to eat a Snickers, it’s nice to know they were working at 4:40 AM.

PS: I’m still mad the League in general, and I will try to be a fan who stands up for herself and others.  Starting tomorrow.  Right now I’m crying and wondering if I can just put my Crosby jersey on over my winter coat for this whole week.

HAPPY F&*$ING MONDAY, EVERYONE!