Yet we remind ourselves, and you, these are the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  No team is safe.  Not even the #1 seed.

Pittsburgh (1) vs. NY Islanders (8)

Chuck: Penguins

Let’s be honest here – can anyone beat the Pens right now? It’ll be nigh impossible to stop the Pens on their quest for the Cup.  We’re delighted that they Isles made the big show and excited that our favorite middle school science teacher, John Tavares, finally has the chance to show off his exceptional skill in the post-season.  He could break out but this series is all Pens.

Pants:  Penguins

This is too tough a 1st round draw for the Isles.  The Penguins drop players like kids drop crayons – they can still make a picture, but one color always seems to be missing.  Now it’s: Avengers, ASSEMBLE.  Expect Crosby to be unlike we’ve ever seen him.  There is nothing he (and I) would like better than to take his injuries, time missed and all the shit-talk and shove it down every other team’s throat until they choke.  Whew… I need to calm down.  Is it Wednesday yet?

Montreal (2) vs. Ottawa (7)

Chuck:

Apparently, Erik Karlsson has Wolverine X-Men-like healing ability and boy are the Senators glad to have him back.  His return to the lineup will no doubt lift the Senators’ game. He makes all around him better and that is what his team needs to challenge the Habs.   So goes Carey Price, so go the Habs. He’ll need to be stellar this series for the Canadiens to advance.

Pants: Canadiens

Or alternatively: I don’t care about this series.  If the East sees an upset I think this would be it.

Washington Capitals (3) vs. New York Rangers (6)

Chuck: Rangers

Good looks can only get you so far and Rangers are going to have their hands full with one of the NHL’s hottest teams.  Caps’ PP is en fuego and Ovechkin has poured it on in the last few weeks (14 goals in April!).  But the Rangers have Lundqvist and a solid defensive corps.  Look for the McDonough/Ovechkin match up alot this series.  I’m glad that our friendship is strong and based on more than just hockey because this series will put it to the test.

Pants: Capitals

I believe in the Caps.  Hell, I even believe in Ovi for the last two months.  He is right now the unstoppable, force-of-nature player of years past.  Like then, he brings Nicky and Mikey right up with him.  Add in scrappy players who rise to playoff occasion – Chimera, Hendricks, Beagle, Ward – and it’s talent on top off tenacity.  I think feel hope know it’s going to happen.  The red is ready to rock.

Boston Bruins (4) vs. Toronto Maple Leafs (5)

Chuck:  Bruins

Original Six Match-Up! Bring it on! Bruins won the season series 3-1, but have slumped in the last dozen games.  Leafs have been a better team than they have in the past –  Kessel, Lupul, Van Riemsdyk, and the emergence of Kadri have lifted the Leafs to the #5 seed.  If Bruins want to win this series, they need to play “their game” – physical, punishing, bear-like.  Lucic, Horton, and Marchand need to step up.  Tuukka has played well in the net and it’s his time to shine as the Bruins #1.

Pants: Bruins

The Bruins are bigger and badder – and if they lose this series, it will be because they beat themselves.  Nice to see the Leafs make the dance, though.

Chicago (1) vs. Minnesota (8)

Chuck: Blackhawks

Hop on board the Blackhawks Train! Choo Choo! This team has been on-point from Day 1 of the season and honestly, the Western Conference is theirs to lose.  The Wild just squeaked into the #8 slot by winning their last regular season game. Suter has played well as of late after a rocky start in Minnesota and of course, there is Parise, but it is going to be hard to get past Crawford and Company.

Pants: Blackhawks

Remember in 2010, when you felt like you were watching magic happen?  That’s been going on since January, and it ain’t over yet.  There is almost no one I’d rather watch in the playoffs than Jonathan Toews – he is the epitome of a competitor and a captain.  That game-tying, short handed, under 2 minutes left goal to send Game 7 to OT vs Vancouver in the first round of 2011 still rips out my beating heart like we’re in the Temple of Doom.

Anaheim (2) vs. Detroit (7)

Chuck: Ducks

The Ducks are a team that have flown under the radar all season.  (Flown.  The Ducks. See what I did there?)  Detroit has made the playoffs for the 22nd straight season.  Ducks have a great goaltending tandem with Fasth and Hiller.  Detroit has a phalanx of talented forwards.  Series should be fun to watch but I think Anaheim comes out on top.  I weep at the thought of no Zetterberg playoff beard. WEEP.

Pants: Ducks

I don’t think the Ducks have been under the radar, just far away.  They won all but 2 games in February, so right away they were good and loud about it.  This is the Ducks team we should have seen last year, plus I miss Bruce Boudreau’s red, screaming face.  And Teemu Selanne cannot actually play forever, despite appearances.  Getcha some Haagen-Dazs for this one.

Vancouver (3) vs. San Jose (6)

Chuck: Sharks

If the Canucks are to have any chance on winning this series, Cory Schneider & Ryan Kesler need to be healthy.  Sharks won season series 3-0, have a proven Stanley Cup goalie and a boat-load of forwards led by Joe Thornton, Joe Pavelski, and our favorite caveman, Brent Burns.

Pants: Sharks

San Jose, the NHL’s streakiest team.  Remember how hot they were to begin the season?  If they can find the winning formula again, it’ll be the Conference Final before anyone knows what hit ‘em.  Then the Sharks will choke, because that’s how they do in playoffs.  At least they’ll have taken Vancouver out first.

St. Louis (4) vs. Los Angeles (5)

Chuck: Kings

No way the defending Stanley Cup Champs are going down without a fight and I still think they’ll take the series, but if Backes steps up, this series could go either way.  Sure, the Blues may have lost to the Kings 8 times in a row but like the Black Eyed Peas – I got a feeling.  The Blues do have a shot.  Both teams play a similar game but Blues’ goaltending has been slightly better, so you can see my dilemma.

Pants: Blues

The more I think about it, the more I like the Blues here.  They’re pissed LA swept them out last season.  They’ve won 12 of 15 in April, and 10 of those by 1 or 2 goals.  That’s a lot of hard-scrabble 60 minute hockey, perfectly timed for this time of year.

He was born in Sweden.

Since that won’t work, I guess we’ll just have to settle for “Captain.”

 This is my Captain face.

Today, the Avalanche made history by making the 19-year-old the youngest captain in NHL history.

Take that, Sidney Crosby.

Landeskog is 19 year, 286 days old – 11 days younger that Captain Awkward Pockets who was 19 years, 297 days old when he was given the “C” waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in May 2007.

This move to make Landeskog the captain comes after Milan Hejduk announced that he was giving up his role as the Avalanche’s captain.  He will continue to serve as an alternate captain, along with Paul “Bang Bang Bang” Stastny.

Landeskog will be just the 4th captain in Avalanche history, the 11th captain in Avs/Nordiques history, and only the third European born player to serve as captain.

Who’s got thumbs and is the youngest captain in the NHL?
THIS GUY!

It’s no secret that Foppa 2.0 is a huge favorite here at WUYS.

He’s just so darn awesome that we can’t contain ourselves.

somuchlandeskoging.

He’s been named a Foxy Friday.

We adore his twitter wikkid hahd corah.

And we lauded his feats of super-human hockey strength.

He possesses all the qualties that a future NHL superstar should have – talent, bucket loads of charisma, excellent camera presence, and a face that could launch a thousand ships.

We are card-carrying members of the Gabriel Landeskog fan club and today’s announcement makes us really happy.

Now if we can only sort out that whole NHL vs. NHLPA business…

Peep this, ladies.

Well, folks.  They did just that.

New Jersey Devils resistance was utterly futile.

Shiny.

Last night, the Kings went into full-on beast mode and beat the New Jersey Devils 6-1 to clinch the first Stanley Cup in the franchise’s 45 year history.

This team, and their entire playoff run was epic – one of firsts, impressive records, and feats of altheticism and skill that make us super jealous.

The Kings barely made the playoffs and are the first ever eight-seed to win the Cup.  They did so with an impressive 16-4 record and a unimaginable 10-1 road record.

They rolled over the #1, #2, and #3 seeds in the Western Conference in dominating fashion and matched the second-fastest run to a Stanley Cup Championship in modern NHL history.

It was no surprise that Jonathan Quick won the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP.  Pretty sure his goals-against-average was like -4 and he had a save percentage of eleventy billion.  (It was actually 1.41 GAA and .946 save percentage – both NHL records)

Quick also became the 3rd American-born player to win the Conn Smythe.  Fellow goalie Tim Thomas won last year (like we could forget) and waaaay back in 1994 (when Quick was 8 years old), Brian Leetch from the NY Rangers won it.

Another little tidbit of trivia info – Leetch and Quick both went to school at Avon Old Farms in Connecticut and played in Hockey East (Leetch at Boston College, Quick at UMass Amherst).  Oh and Thomas went to University of Vermont – also a Hockey East school.  HOCKEY EAST REPRESENT!

Daddy, you won! Can I have some M&Ms?

The game itself had a intensity befitting a potential Stanley Cup cliniching game and there can be no doubt that its defining moment came in the first period when the Devils’ Steve Bernier boarded Rob Scuderi.

Scuderi was left bloodied and bruised.

Bernier felt shame and was ejected, resulting in a five-minute power play for the Kings.

During that five minutes, the captain Dustin Brown, Jeff Carter, and Trevor Lewis each scored goals.  The Kings never looked back.

Brown also added two assists and became just the 2nd American-born captain to raise the Cup.  He managed to accomplish that which the Great One, Wayne Gretzky, could not do in his eight year tenure with the Kings.

Anze Kopitar has poised himself on the edge of NHL super stardom.  He tied for the playoff lead in points (20) and goals (8), and finished a ridiculous +16.  Not only is he the first Slovenian to play in the NHL, but now he’ll be the first ever to have his name engraved on the Cup.

He also is the first ever to wear this in a post-game interview.

All hail King Kopitar!

This team was chockful of talent and size and skill and they peaked at the most perfect time.  Their regular season was inconsistent at best as they struggled to score goals, but something special happened after Darryl Sutter took over the team midseason.

So special in fact, that it earned them the most coveted and respected trophy in all of sports.

We are very much looking forward to the Kings’ summer with the Cup and all the photos, tweets, and stories that will undoubtedly follow.

We want to see Dustin Penner eat some pancakes out of the Cup.

We want to Carter and Richards take the Cup on a sunset stroll on the beach.

But most of all, we want to see the players, and their family, friends, and fans, savor every moment of this incredible accomplishment.

CONGRATS to the 2012 Stanley Cup Champion, Los Angeles Kings!

While we don’t like the Devils, we have to give them props for not laying down in front of the purple and black freight train and for pushing the series to a Game 6.

Last week, the Devils were down 3-0 in the series, teetering percariously on the edge, Jonathan Quick poised to send them tumbling into the abyss of the SCF sweep.

No goal for you.

But leave it to Marty Brodeur, the 4o year old future Hall of Fame netminder, to bring the Devils back and for the players like Parise, Salvador, and he of the creeper ‘stach, Henrique, to step up big time.

Have the Devils totally messed with the Kings’ hockey chi?  Will they come from 3-0 down to win their 4th Stanley Cup?

Mike Richards and his heterosexual life partner, Jeff Carter are determined to not make that happen.

Their epic bromance will conquer all.

Most epic of bromances.

If there ever was a time that these two needed to step up, it is tonight.

Time to silence all those hater and critics and to show the Flyers fans what they could have had.

I have confidence in the Kings.  They just need to play the way that they’ve been playing the entire playoffs.  With physicality, skill, strength. But most importantly, to play like one being,  a hockey borg, if you will.

Take a deep breath, boys.  Keep calm and carry on.

Exhale.

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Shane Doan takes Trevor Lewis’ face for a wipe board. OK-  he did turn but a delayed penalty had already been called for slashing on BROWN so all Doan needed to do was reach for the puck – not take Lewis’ face for a ride. He got thrown out which was appropriate – IN MY OPINION.

Mike Smith slashes Dustin Brown in the back of the knees. They get MATCHING penalties because the ref thinks Brown is embellishing – HELLO! Anyone who gets the craps smacked out of the back of their knees with a goalie stick by a 6’3” MONSTER isn’t embellishing ANYTHING.

As one commentator said, “If that was acting, it’s some of the best to come out of Hollywood in years!”

Then Hanzal decides ride Brown into the boards like a whore on Saturday night. Fellas, I get it, you’re frustrated. You got your asses handed to you by an 8^th seed team for a second night. But this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Then – my favorite of the night – Dustin “Pancakes” Penner decides enough is enough and when a scrum breaks out to quell it, he just sits on Antoine Vermette. Awesomesauce. Nothing says shut your face like a 6’ 4” manbeast sitting on your lame ass.

Oh did I mention that Jeff Carter, man of the hour, got a natural hat trick? The first one for the Kings in the play-offs since  – oh – Wayne Gretzky in 1993? Yeah … that happen too last night!

HAPPY SUTTER/ANGRY SUTTER

OH WHAT A NIGHT! Feel good about that one guys. Mad respect for your play. But I knew that –

Dawn – you are so funny. Calling me to wish me good luck tonight!

This is what you want from your captain – A COMPLETE BEAST!

The press conference after game one went pretty much like this:

Kopitar NEVER gives up on a puck – NEVER

Tippett: I didn’t give a F**K about Kopitar. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press person: So when Brown did blah blah blah …

Tippett: I don’t give a F**K about Brown. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press Person: So when they scored again in the second period …

Tippett: Maybe you didn’t hear me the second time, I have to don’t give a F**K about the LA KINGS right now, I have to worry about my players and the fact that they didn’t perform tonight. Any more questions? Alright. Thanks.

GO KINGS! KEEP BEING UNDER-RATED  – RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU WIN THE CUP!

MY BOYS! BREAKING BAD!

But my friends once in a blue moon dreams do come true! So taste the rainbow Kings fans!

yes, that's super model Rachel Hunter with the newly dubbed, west coast - 'bigboy hair'

But I’ll be honest, it’s nice that under all that is this too :

LA seems to agree with Mr. Stoll

Then life goes on.  Other teams win and lose, and to keep me from slipping out of reach after last night’s Blackhawks loss, I need a moment to thank the Penguins for a great season.

Prom Night 2012. They obviously tried to take the photo before Letang showed up, but no such luck. The man even looks good in a ponytail.

The waiting was the hardest part.   I held my breath a lot, exhaling mostly in the form of cheers for for Malkin and Neal and all those beautiful points.  When Crosby was finally back for good, all I could do was sigh.

At the end, the Penguins went a little haywire.  Their top-of-the-line hardware should run like a fighter jet, but somewhere in the programming the machine became human.  Their system fell apart in the first three games vs. Philly and couldn’t recover.  But like the computer you’re on right now, you don’t throw it away when it malfunctions.  You smack it and threaten to chuck it out the window, but really you just shut down, wait a minute and reboot.

Or you go on summer vacation.

To send the Pens off, here are a few things we demand to see this summer.

We Want: James Neal in Glasses

Nealmobile once came a contact lense away from a career-ending eye injury [link].  He could have been finger painting like Doug Dorsey!  Thank God for small miracles.  Where there are contacts, there are glasses, and some super sleuth found them in NHL36:

The old adage “boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” is not at all true for girls.  We LOVE your glasses (without ever seeing you wear them).  In fact, how dare you deprive us?  Mike Green would never do that.  Since it’s only April and you’re gone, at least give us this.

We Want: Geno’s T-Shirt Collection

We didn’t get enough hilarity out of Geno’s wardrobe this year.  The man alternately shops at Charlotte Russe and the Hustler Store, which can only mean one thing: we can’t wait to see what he’s wearing at the high-roller table in Vegas when he picks up that Hart Trophy.

We Want: Niskanen and Sullivan

Matt Niskanen’s (RFA) middle name is Norman for heaven’s sake.  Sullivan (UFA) fits in on any line and plays like he’s in his twenties.  Sign them now.

We Want: Workout Videos

Show us how hard you’re working, how dedicated you are to the new season.  That’s what these videos are about, right?  Last year we posted Kris Letang’s [link] and you guys all disappeared for a week.  Maybe this year, James Neal won’t be ignored in the Camp Biosteel videos.

I think that’s everything we need for the next five months.  Players eat their Wheaties and do their squats while we save up cash for tickets and merch.  See you all in Septemb…  hahahaha.  RIGHT.

We Want:

Crosby, where are the rest of these pictures?

Caption removed for inadequacy.

And even this.

Neal's going to need a lot of help putting on that SPF 75.

Don’t you feel at least a little better now?