Made of Hockey

Hello? Anybody home?

sloth

It’s been 131 days since we did a blog post and honestly, it’s all that sloth’s fault. Look how cute he is! Big smile, no thumbs – it’s so hard to type when we’re bursting into Kristen Bell-type tears all day long.

But hockey season is nearly upon us. Sorry sloth, time to get back to work.

And how should we begin? For what did I reset my forgotten password? For this, I say.

sid1

Bangs. Scruff. Or something of each sort, Sid-style. Which is more than enough for us.

Right?

sid2

Of course right.

sloth3

These are from Sid’s new CCM commercial for the “Made of Hockey” campaign. See the video on Instagram here. Bonus: voiceover. The sloth doesn’t speak English but he’s purring.

Hmm, maybe it’s a girl sloth.

Tumblr also supplied the breaking news that Sid danced at a wedding:

sid dance

Photo by unknown heroic person

 

If there’s something more awkward than Sid dancing, it’s… well, probably every other moment of his life. But we can promise you one thing: the unpictured groom filed a prenup on the day Sid’s RSVP arrived for this wedding. Judging by the photo, that prenup probably wasn’t detailed enough to include the bride’s dress trying to open itself at the back.

hermione

[Visit Crosby’s new house: WPXI 11 News]

We are gearing up for the new season, starting by figuring out who the heck is on our teams now. There will also be blogging. I am even going to Canada tomorrow – really, they are letting me in! It’s for work, but a visit to the Hockey Hall of Fame should give me the appropriate kick in the the shorts. I hear there’s a World Cup of Hockey press event… what’s the exchange rate on bail again?

For now, we say this. And that the Penguins will win the Cup this year. (Chuck’s offline for a few days before she can delete that!)

ron

Foxy Friday: You Tell Us

Happy National Hairstyle Appreciation Day!

sherlock

Okay, it was yesterday. How this is 1) a holiday or 2) occurs without our say-so is a mystery, but it’s never too late to join in the, er, appreciating. Especially on a Friday.

I’ve very scientifically chosen the photos below.  Browse them – and we mean Take. Your. Time. (For example, I haven’t done any other work today.) In the comments, tell us what you love, hate, miss and wish would disappear. I’m sure I’ve left out a few transformations: suggestions are also welcome.

FOXY FRIDAY: Hairstyle Appreciation Day

Jamie Benn: Before vs. After

benn

James Neal: Hedgehog vs. Humbled vs. Hey Ladies

neal

Mike Green: Kombucha vs. Complicated Coffee vs. Wheatgrass vs. Small-Batch Bourbon

mike

Tom Wilson: Boy vs Man

wilson

Carl Hagelin: Boy Band vs. Rock Star vs. Singer-Songwriter

2011-2012 NHL Season Player Headshots

Steven Stamkos: Too Short vs. Too Long vs. Just Right

New York Islanders  v Tampa Bay Lightning

 Claude Giroux: Elmo vs. Fozzie vs. Animal

g1

Kris Letang: Disney Prince vs. Disney Dad

letang ax

Last but not least, Barry Melrose: Always vs. Forever

melrose2

The polls are open. Happy Friday, everyone!

Love Me Like You Do

There’s been a lot of press the last few days about the terrible experience some Caps fans had at Nassau Coliseum during Game 3 vs. the Islanders on Sunday. You can read the original story here, the Isles’ official team response and about a follow-up investigation into harassment and vandalism by local authorities. Caps owner Ted Leonsis said the Caps’ top brass also “had a ‘moment’ at the game.”

caps isles

The general reply has been, “Not all Isles fans are like that.” Of course they’re not. Many of my friends are Isles fans, and they’re none of the things these people exhibited Sunday – racist, homophobic, threatening. I rooted for the Caps on Long Island last winter. It’s not the best example: impromptu game = no Caps gear + stomach flu > limited cheering or movement for fear of throwing up on glass/players/TV. But I was in the front row! Even the Isles bench saw me cheering for the Caps! Sorry, John! Still, the Isles fans I met were all friendly and polite – and possibly worried I was contagious.

Maybe no one saw me down there like a Hobbit.

Maybe no one noticed me down there like a Hobbit.

That doesn’t remedy the awful truth of what happened Sunday. No one should ever have to feel unsafe, bullied or personally demeaned over team colors (or anything, but that’s a rant for another blog). I guarantee each team has a small percentage of belligerent (especially when drunk) fans “cheering” for them. You can’t pick your “family,” right? That doesn’t mean we will do nothing. We’ve seen these people. Maybe sat by them. I hope we do – and going forward, always will – intervene or at least reach out with support to the opposing fans. Because you can pick your friends – and these people look fun. I want to go to a game with them:

 

It seems the Long Island situation was not properly addressed by arena security, but some Isles fans did their best to help. Good on those people. Especially because the number one person who would not condone poor sportsmanship is Captain Science Pants himself, John Tavares. In November, he personally reached out to a young Isles fan who was bullied in Winnipeg. Shame on fans of any team who don’t follow his example.

tavares

I hope the “bad apple” Isles fans in question had horrendous, vengeful hangovers and are crushingly ashamed. I also hope the Caps kick their team’s collective ass in Round 1. Karma! (Again, sorry John.) Either way, I’m anxious to hear if Caps fans attending Game 4 at the Coliseum tonight experience a more welcoming atmosphere generated by all the good Isles fans who don’t want to be painted with that same brush.

tavares2

I’ve been to NHL games in 13 arenas: Boston, New York Islanders and Rangers, New Jersey, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Atlanta, Chicago, Colorado, San Jose, Los Angeles and Anaheim. People always ask me if I worry about wearing my Pens gear there. I’m not. As popular as the Penguins are, I am rarely alone even in my row or section, and there’s a healthy contingent of black and gold in every rink. But wearing a Crosby jersey means you’re begging to get razzed! Mr. Pants laughs; he thinks I’m waiting for someone to come at me, so I can try the moves I learned from Miss Congeniality. (S.I.N.G., ladies!)

sing

And yet, my experiences have been overwhelmingly positive. I don’t mean chirping or some boos. That should be expected and, when handled well, is all part of the fun. But we should also expect it will stay good-natured and. I hate to think I’ve just been lucky – I prefer to think almost all hockey fans are better than those who threatened the Caps fans Sunday.

Photo credit: RMNB

Don’t get mad, get on TV. (Photo credit: RMNB)

Instead of aggression, I’ve more often encountered the casual sexism that assumes women know nothing about the game. (Sid, your jersey is still not helping.) Luckily, I am equipped to sass that unsuspecting interloper right back to the bar. And I enjoy it.

Guy at Caps game (pointing to my Crosby jersey): “Wouldn’t you rather have a real man?”
Me (pointing toward the ice): “But Mike Green looks busy.”

zack

I’m also ususally with a small group, or sometimes even by myself.  Going to a hockey game alone is a bit weird, but I honestly don’t mind, even in my away team kit. If it’s the difference between seeing the Pens or not, I’m going. At worst, I pay unparalleled attention to the game. At best, I make friends with the people around me. (If you haven’t guessed, I’ll talk to anyone. I’d talk to a tree.) Someone being rowdy would have to say it right to my face. It’s easier for a drunk or coward to shout anonymously at a group, which makes it all the worse that individuals within the Caps group were targeted Sunday with specific harassment.

As I said, most of my encounters have been great.In Atlanta, a guy on the upper level concourse and gave us his group’s unused tickets eight rows off the ice. Perhaps this is why ATL didn’t make it, but I got to watch a Malkin hat trick up close. Thank you, anonymous man! When the Pens scored in Anaheim and the crowd sang, “Who cares?”, all the Ducks fans behind us pointed down and yelled, “She does!” At a Caps game, I was one of only a few Pens jerseys in the VIP area when this guy walked by:

duper

There was one WTF moment at a Pens vs. Rangers game at the Garden, circa Thanksgiving 2011. I was with a female friend and male cousin, both NYR fans. Some guy still felt the need to tell me he hopes Crosby gets run over by a car in front of his parents, so they have to watch him die. He actually said that out loud. Before I could even formulate a response, the other Rangers fans around us were telling the guy off. They apologized to me. One of them, some girl I didn’t know, even paid for my beer. Rangers fans! And me! Having a drink together! World peace is possible. (Also, the Penguins won.)

The only place I might not wear my Crosby jersey is Philly. Still, jersey or not, there’s no way I keep my mouth shut for three periods. Maybe it’s better to announce my intentions? I bet @DLF1021 and @sunnyinNJ, in their black and orange, make great bodyguards. This lady did okay.

Penguins vs. Flyers

Have you ever experienced a truly bad fan interaction at a game?  I certainly hope not, because we’re all hockey fans. We have a lot in common, and also a lot to lose if/when the teams and League struggle. We should stay “frenemies” whoe love to hate each other until the final buzzer. There are bad people everywhere, but I’d like to think enough of us are cool to drown them out. Hopefully, those are the Isles fans we hear about tonight.

Playoff Predictions: Wild Wild West

Now onto the Western Conference Playoff Predictions, where we be like…

Disclaimers:

Chuck: I have watched some Western Conferences games this year, but those 10pm start times are killers. My predictions are based off:  the games I HAVE watch; NHL Network, what I’ve read about the teams, and Ms. Cleo.

Pants: I need to be honest here for a second. Can I vote for the Oilers? No? Then I don’t know anything about the West. I will predict – I may even have emotions – but everything I think about the Western Conf. is learned from reading other predictions or the final NHL standings. Basically, I am cheating off all your tests.

 

western conference

Blues vs. Wild

Chuck: Blues. But maybe the Wild?  Wild have been the best team in the NHL since January and the exceptional play of Devan Dubnyk has carried them through, but the Blues have a sniper in Tarasenko and a deep corps of forwards and defenseman. This one is a conundrum, for sure.

Pants: Blues. They always seem to be giving my teams a hard time, so this year will be not different. Also, BORT’S BEARD! I needs it.

otter

Lindsay’s favorite photo.

 

Predators vs. Blackhawks

Chuck: Predators. I’m going out on a limb for this one but just hear me out. Preds’ defensemen make an in so many ways and Weber and Josi are a stellar 1-2 punch. James Neal, when he is in the zone, can score goals that other guys just can’t. Hawks’ defense has been meh of late and Crawford can’t do it without good players in front of him.

Pants: Probably the Predators, because they’ve been rock solid all season. Also, I have Gingerbeard withdrawal something fierce. The Hawks have had their ups-and-downs, though they are getting Patrick Kane back right on cue to make me eat these words.

neal2

Ducks vs. Jets

Chuck: Ducks.  Ducks has strength on pretty much all four lines and if their forechecking is on point, they are probably one of the best in the league. Paul Maurice has changed slowly changed the identity and culture of the Jets but they aren’t quite there…yet.  But I wouldn’t be mad at ALL if the Jets pulled this upset off.

Pants: Ducks. If you’ve never watched Bruce Boudreau coach, please take this opportunity. If he was an iso-cam feed during games, I would never need to see the ice.

bruce

Canucks vs. Flames

Chuck: Flames. I don’t have a dog in this fight since the Bruins are out so I am looking for a team to adopt.  Maybe the Flames are it. So what that they haven’t won a playoff round since 2004 (when the lost in the SCF)?  Great coach in Bob Hartley, a hugely successful powerplay and their ability to win without Giordano might make the Flames a dark horse.

Pants: When I go to horse races, I bet on whichever horse has the best drag queen name. (So far, Surly Temple is the all-time favorite.) So when I say I can’t pick a team in this series, know how deeply and truly I do not care. I seem to have a lot of Canuck fan friends though, and I wish them well.

dont care

Comment below and let us know your predictions.  Who’s your dark horse team?

 

 

Playoff Predictions: Beasts of the East

It’s here! The NHL Playoffs!  Our lives are on hold until further notice.

Welcome to our annual playoff predictions, where Chuck selects teams based on actual hockey things and Pants make wishes on shiny pennies. (note from Pants: Amazingly, we have about the same track record. Maybe I learn things through texting with her.)

Eastern Conference

Canadiens vs. Senators

Chuck: Senators. I know their late season surge is partially responsible for the Bruins not making the playoffs, but come on, people.  There is no way in seven hells that I’m rooting for the Canadiens to win.  Plus the Sens have momentum on their side – they won their last three games vs the Habs and they are riding the hot glove of the Hamburgler.

Pants: WHO CARES? No, really. I think the Habs will win because Carey Price. And I hope they will win because they are predictable when faced by a next-round opponent who could by one of my teams. The Sens have lived up to their “pesky” reputation time and again, and I don’t have the stomach for their upswings now.

thats all

Lightning vs. Red Wings

Chuck: Lightning. A deep forward corps and young guns like Palat & Kucherov give the Bolts eletricity in the scoring department.  Foxy Friday Brian Boyle is holding down the 4th line, scored 15 goals, and has even played shifts of defense. We love guys that can multitask. But the thought of losing the Zetterbeard so early in the playoffs….

Not okay.

 

Pants: Uh, Lighting. Apologies to @lm1485‘s grandmother and the stuffed duck on her porch who wears a Red Wings jersey, but the Wings are on the downward slope away from the top of the League.  We know what it’s like to look around and suddenly, everyone else is 25.

magotes

Rangers vs. Penguins

Chuck: Rangers.  NYR went b***s to the wall at the trade deadline and made some very strategic moves to complete their roster.  Rick Nash has been his best against the Pens this season with 7 points over 4 games (3 of which the Rangers won).  Add in the the 1-2 goaltending punch of Lundqvist and Talbot, and the Rangers are a force that should put other East teams on notice.

Pants: PENGUINS. If I learned anything from Grease, it was: what skipping a period meant it was: if I can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter. Short of lacing up some skates and toe picking my way out there to hold a &$%#ing lead myself (I considered this), the only solution is to focus my energy into a laser beam of love and intention – hopefully one that can move the puck away from the Pens’ net. Maybe instead of watching Grease, I should have kept watching Star Wars. Also, if I haven’t mentioned it in five minutes, I hate the Rangers.

leia push

Capitals vs. Islanders

Chuck:  Push.  These teams have not met in the playoffs since 1993 so you know that this is going to be some hype. Islanders are moving out of Nassau Coliseum at the end of this season so that might make give this series and playoffs some extra gravitas, but I think that these teams are pretty evenly matched. High-powered captains? Check. Goaltending? Check. Puck possession teams? Check.  This one is gonna be gooood. #BuckleUp

Pants: Capitals yaaaaaaaaas. But why does this have to be? Why can’t I just want John Tavares and his pleated khaki, double-strapped backpack, tucked-in shirt and first day of school haircut to win in the playoffs? Still, I don’t. As I wrote about in my guide to liking more than one team, you need to prioritize and stick to your guns. Even when the other gun looks like this:

jt

Screencap of My Life by @ambitiouspants

 

Capitals, don’t make me regret this.


Who are your 1st round picks? Comment below!

Finite Disappointment. Infinite hope.

A little over twelve hours later and I’m still coming to grips with what happened yesterday.  Yes, the Bruins lost and will miss the playoffs for the first time in almost 10 years. But honestly, that is not what as me feeling this way.

Yesterday, the Boston University Terriers lost a heartbreaker in the finals of the NCAA Men’s Ice Hockey Championship.  Victory was snatched from them in a matter of minutes.  One tiny miscue.  Then one goal.  And it was all over.

I was gutted. Totally and utterly gutted.

I’ve watched this team all season and I can honestly say that I have not seen a group like this in a long time. The ’09 team was an impressive group, to be sure.  But this team – there was an intangible, indescribable “something.”   I could try finding the words to define it but I don’t know if I’d do it any true justice.

The arrival of  Jack Eichel and an impressive group of freshman started the turn around for a team what was abysmal last season.  As the media hype swirled around Eichel, players like Brandon Fortunato, Brandon Hickey,  John MacLeod, Nikolas Olsson, and A.J. Greer wove their way into the fabric of this storied hockey program. Returning forwards like Danny O’Regan, Evan Rodrigues, and Ahti Oksanen put up offensive numbers that name BU the top-scoring team in the nation.  Doyle Somerby become a blue-line force, providing physicality and big hits in equal measure.

There is no dispute that Eichel brought a prestige and a impressive skill set to this storied program.  Yes, he was the best player in the country. Yes, he did win the Hobey Baker. Yes, watching him skate and play was a thing of beauty.

But what he really brought was a belief in himself and his ability which permeated every other other player in that locker room. It extended out and touch every player wearing that scarlet and white sweater.

However, no talented team is complete without goaltending and this year, Matt O’Connor was outstanding.  He became the undisputed starter and stepped into the role with a maturity and a focus.

Yesterday, he made one mistake. But yesterday will not and should not define him nor his hockey career.  My hope is that those 15 or so NHL clubs that showed so much interest in him this season don’t turn away because if they do, they could miss out on something special.

O’Connor is an exceptional student and a class act of a human being.  His coaches and teammates think the world of him.  He answered question after question from the media, still clad in his gear.  He told the story over and over again although I’m sure he would have preferred to be left alone.   The disappointment he and his team must be feeling overwhelms me and I’m sure every member of Terrier Nation.

But that is just what happens when you love and appreciate a team this much.  It has been a true joy to watch them play this season. Any one who knows the true me, knows that my love of hockey is true and deep and real.  And my profound love for BU Hockey is its core.

This Terrier team may have missed out on a National Championship but I do not and cannot believe that it will be their last opportunity. Hockey is infused in every cell of their bodies.  It feeds them and sustains them and it is a hunger that will not be satiated until they hold that trophy in their hands.

 

 

Tyler Tuesday: Beep Beep

Beep Beep! Who’s got the keys to the Jeep?

Vrrrroooooommmm!

Tyler recently shot a commercial for Starwood Motors in Dallas. You can watch them here and here but fair warning – they are hella awkward. Name me a single hockey player commerical that isn’t.

 

Apparently Starwood Motors sells kevlar-coated Jeeps.  Yes. Kevlar. As in the same material in bulletproof vests.  As to why anyone not named James Bond would need a bulletproof car is beyond me..but honestly but it’s not really important, now is it?

What is important, though….

Gangsta lean.

 

If Tyler arrived in this thing to pick us up for a date, at first we might be all…

hmmkay?

 

But then he’d come out the car all…

Flawless.

 

On the outside, we’d be all…

 

And on the inside…

 

Because…

Even his ankles are sexy.

 

Foxy Friday: Farewell

There are three Fridays left in the regular season, and with that, it’s time to bite the bullet. We must bid adieu to some of our favorites, sending them off to summer with strict instructions for shirtless boat-selfies, colorful golf pants/plaid shorts and hey, if anyone wants to pour ice water over his head and post the video, that’s cool too. Or just wakeboard. We’ll give money.

bette davis

(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers

giroux

I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.

mdz

New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.

henrique

Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.

valentine

If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:

johansen

Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.

skinner

Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.

staal

Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]

loops

But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.

loops2

HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit lupulstyle.com to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.

bogo

At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:

foligno

No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.

olaf

The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.

 

Can We Panic Now?

Oh my God, a blog post.

I know. We have been everywhere except in front of our computers lately, or honestly in front of TVs watching hockey. Who vacations in the spring? Fools! I looked at my calendar and all of a sudden:

  1. It’s almost April.
  2. The Penguins have 9 games left.

britney-laughing

I AM ALARMED.

It’s my own fault, except for the part that is the Penguins’ fault for losing 5 of 6 including one OT game. In March. I would have felt implosive rage except I was on the beach reading Eat, Pray, Love for the third time, so I trust you guys felt my share. Now, it’s time to…

panic

Looking at the standings makes me want to barf. Trying to figure out who’s got in-conference games, games in hand, four-point games… someone hold my hair. I know it’s a selfish panic, because at least the Pens are currently in playoff standing. It could be worse.

standings

I love Chuck, but man, I hate the Bruins so much and it’s every woman for herself down the stretch. I’m jumping over dead bodies like I need to beat a zombie to Terminus.

Note: The Bruins are not dead, but who the &$#@ thought Ottawa would win seven in a row? Sometimes, you just want to:

arya2

Anyway, I have my own problems, and they look like TWO MORE GAMES VS. THE FLYERS. That is high drama and TV ratings gold, but holy hell. My head might spin clean around. I can’t even comprehend the Rangers being first in the Metro – and by eight points! Islanders, you had one job!

points

That is not the job I’m talking about! GAH.

So here we go, down the stretch, with claws out and no mercy. Please let the Penguins pass the Isles, the Caps make the playoffs, the Rangers lose every remaining game, Crosby win the scoring race and Tavares need a hug afterward.

You guys with us?

amy

Jeez, is anyone else hungry? I could stress-eat two who pizzas right now.

Tyler Tuesday: Magically Delicious

Chuck here, bringing you a much needed dose of Tyler Tuesday St.Patrick’s Day Edition!

While my RLJ (real life job) has kept me pretty busy, fret not, my little leprechauns!

Today, I have the perfect Tyler-size pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

“Tell me ye like me glasses…”

 

Tyler Seguin is lucky charms, people.

Magically Delicious

 


 

P.S. If you want to find me tonight, I’ll be drinking some Irish whisky somewhere in Boston, listen to this song on repeat.

SLAINTE!

 

 

Foxy Friday: Raphael Diaz

I can’t believe that I’m actually writing this post.

Today’s Foxy Friday has played for not one but TWO of the teams in the NHL that fuel my hate fire. But today, I will smother that raging hate fire and look past the jersey.

Today, I will also forget that he is named after one of of the Ninja Turtles and will focus on what is really important on this most special and holy of days.

Ladies (and gentlemen?), meet Raphael Diaz.

This is a man who name invokes images of the Bernabeu, emerald green pitches, and the white noise drone of the vuvuzela, not the Saddledome, sheets of ice, and pop tunes played by a pipe organ.   This 5’11” blueliner was born in Zug, Switzerland, which sounds more like an alien race from Doctor Who than an actually place, and he joins fellow Swiss Foxy Friday Honoree Roman Josi in making us sit up and take notice of that little neutral nation.

We, as true intrepid journalists (!) need to know what other hockey foxes are hiding up there in the Alps.  Is Switzerland the new Sweden?

diaz, raphael

Like Sue-Ellen, we “right on top of that, Rose.”

 

Diaz is a newcomer to the NHL, but has already had quite the journey.  He was signed by the Canadiens in 2011 to an entry level contract. He was traded to the Canucks in February 2014, who then turned around before the ink was even dry and traded him to the Rangers a month later. Then in  October 2014, he went to Calgary’s camp on a try-out and ended up signing a one-year contract at the start of this season.

That’s a lot of new jerseys, new locker rooms in new cities, and through it all, he still managed to look like this.

He works out.

 

If Sidney Crosby and Karl Urban had a baby, Raphael Diaz would be their little bundle of joy.

Hey, girl, hey…

 

Diaz is foxy because his role model is obviously John Tavares. As a newbie NHLer, it is important to establish your identity early on.  Diaz is working the “Accountant-by-day-Hockey-Player-by-night” look with the best of them.

GET THIS MAN SOME KHAKIS!

I’ve been waiting for you all night…by this pineapple

 

Diaz is truly foxy when he has no idea what we are saying…

Only if you insist…

 

…And when he’s acting like a giant toddler.

He is foxy because his eyebrow game is ON POINT, even though his beard game needs a bit of work.

But you know what really gets us? Those smile lines around his eyes

Those just destroy every fiber of my being.

So in conclusion…

Yes, Raphael.  I think we just did.

You can follow Raphael on twitter at @diaz_raphael_61.

Foxy Friday: Ondrej Pavelec

Who knew Winnipeg was such a helpful city? In addition to being the hometown of Jonathan Toews (and others), they held an actual vote to determine the best looking member of their NHL team.

Canada: Using Democracy for Real Things!

The result probably surprised no one except Evander Kane, who retaliated with a sweatpants-based protest, subsequent injury and trade. There’s only room for one “Hottest Jet,” honey:

Foxy Friday: Ondrej Pavelec

pav1

You’d rock this vote.

(Thanks for @Kailz_H for the suggestion! Twitter won’t let me scroll back to last Thursday, which is a nice way of telling us we talk too much.)

Now, if I said “Ondrej Pavelec,” most people would say “Bless you.” Some hockey fans might say, “That goalie who fainted?” That is true – Pavelec fainted in-game against Washington back in 2010, while playing for the Thrashers. He suffered a concussion upon hitting the ice, but it was diagnosed as a fainting spell, and not career-threatening. The story goes he woke up in the hospital and asked about the score (Atlanta won).

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If you think he looks a bit like #TeamEbs, I say you’re right. He bears a more-than-passing though less-than-gapped resemblance to another blue-eye Western Conference Foxy Friday selection.

Though I doubt Ebs could pull off this Eurohipster disguise:

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What’s that about a beard? Oh, you said, “YES?”

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Or were you referring to this hat?

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Ondrek is Czech, from the same region (Kladno District) as Michael Frolik, Jaromir Jagr, Tomas Plekanec, Jiri Sekac, Jiri Tlusty, and Jakub Voracek.  Not bad for an area roughly 275 square miles.  They are all best friends and they love each other and do sports.

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Note the plaid shorts, a worldwide phenomenon.  While jeans like this are only available in Europe and Russia through The Ovechkin Collection:

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This is about our limit for distressing on “These old thing?” brand new designer jeans.

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Pavelec has played 324 NHL games over 7+ seasons. His current  2.60 GAA is a career best, though his top yeAdd Mediaar was ’11-’12, in which he won 29 games. The Jets are currently 4th in the tough Central Division with 73 points, and would be Wild Card spot #1 if the playoffs began today. (Warning: Stats from Thursday, because Friday has a ‘no math’ policy.)

Ondrej is in the third year of a five-year/$19.5 mill contract that leaves him UFA in 2017.

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My favorite thing about the Winnipeg Jets website is that you can misspell Pavelec as Pavalec and still get 40 photo results. It’s nice to know mine are not the only fat fingers in the business.

The Jets have a program called Reading Takes Flight where players visit schools and read them a children’s book about the Jets. Here’s the full photo gallery, feel free to stop when you get teary-eyed.

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Ondrej has been on a lot of Czech talk shows, which you can find on youTube. You won’t know what they’re saying, but hey, Foxy Friday isn’t really about that.  Here’s an interview from before this season began, featuring English and our beloved beard-plus-hoodie combination:

Since he knows we love part time models, Ondrej starred in possibly the oddest (and longest) hockey player TV ad I’ve ever seen. The sign says “Hi, my name is Ondrej Pavelec,” but that is false. You might be Pavelec’s belt buckle, though I am pretty sure you are not Ondrej at all. If you had his face, you’d use it.

Ondrej does not have a Twitter, so you’ll have to go to a game and ask him out with a sign like the old days. In the meantime, you can follow his goalie pads (they lead a full life) at @pavelecspads.

Happy Friday!

Jackpot! (I had to.)

The Penguins traded their annual Skates & Plates waiter gear for other ill-fitting suits this year and hosted Aces & Ice Casino Night last night. It looked like the World’s Most Awkward Wedding Party.

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But two drinks in, the bridesmaids are yelling, “DIBS!” and making shanks out of bobby pins.

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The dads, like Alison’s dad there on the left (not really), are warming up their, “Have you met my daughter?” speeches.

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While the groomsmen try not to look too drunk…

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Even if they have to count reaaalllllyyy sllooowwwlllly…

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And the married guys keep interrupting their attempts to flirt,

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When they’re not laughing because they know how much an open bar costs.

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But no matter how hard they try, there is always one guy who ends up going home alone.

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Here are the full photo gallery and PensTV Video. Celina talks so fast that I am out of breath before they even get to Crosby, but this is something you’d (er, I would) probably pay a fortune to attend.  There is far less chance of physical embarrassment dealing cards than carrying plates, and I can’t help thinking Beau Bennett is a lot safer in this low-impact environment.

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Twenty bucks says that Ehrhoff, tired of being left out, rigs the Secret Santa so he can buy Letang a selfie stick.

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Because he knows we love guys in glasses.

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The Dallas Stars also had a casino night this week. Furthering their quest to be Your Favorite Team, here’s video in which Jamie Benn admits his favorite part is “mingling with the female crowd” who sit at his table.

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No shame if you just tried to buy a ticket for next year’s event like this:

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Because:

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So:

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Two of Hearts

My name is Pants, and I support two hockey teams.

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A while back, @eyetotelescope suggested we address the idea of liking more than one team. Many of you are in the same boat (er, on the same door) at this treacherous time of year, when four-point games rain down, winning streaks become glorious victory marches and slumps are loose bars on a shark cage discovered after you’re already underwater.

Today is the perfect day for this post. I don’t just support two teams, I picked the Penguins and Capitals. Rather, they picked me. Divisional rivals who actively dislike each other, currently a single point apart in the standings – Pens in the playoffs, Caps in a wild card spot. The Caps have beaten the Pens the last I-have-blocked-out how many times. It’s pretty much the worst pair of favorites available.

They play tonight in DC and I will be there, wearing a Pens jersey.

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So, for your cheating heart and mine, here is my guide to supporting two (or more) hockey teams.

Rule One: Know your favorite

I like the Capitals. I love the Penguins. Between the two, there is no contest.

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More simply: The Capitals are my Horcrux. A piece of my soul is in there – and while it hurts, sometimes they must be destroyed. Tonight, I don’t care if Slapshot hugs me on the concourse or free ice tea and nachos are hand-delivered at intermission by a sweaty, Under Armor-ed Mike Green. None shall pass. Not this night.

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Maybe your favorite team was determined by geography, or you inherited a family allegiance. Perhaps you’re riveted by the excitement of trap defense! (Psych – no one is. Explain yourselves, New Jersey.)  When I say I am a Penguins fan:

  • Unsuspecting stranger: “Are you from Pittsburgh?”
  • Me: “No, I’m from upstate New York.”
  • Person, now approaching edge of cliff: “Shouldn’t you like the Rangers?”
  • Me: PUSH

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Kidding. If a person wants my hockey life story from ’91 to present, they can have it. But it ends like this: Penguins first. Capitals second. Blackhawks third, but I couldn’t maintain this even in a Cup-winning season, so it doesn’t count. Then everyone else, and Flyers/Rangers last. Everybody knows their place.

Rule Two: Own your infidelity

As a Pens fan first, living in the DC area, I must often betray a lovely Caps fan who has unwittingly befriended me.

  • Me: “Actually, the Penguins are my favorite team.”
  • New friend: “Prepare to die.”

Nowhere does it say you must like only one team. Second (or third, fourth) favorite teams come about in more interesting ways! You move away from home. A player gets traded.  Hell, RNH’s eyebrows are the only things selling tickets in Edmonton these days. I’d love to know how your second-favorite teams snuck into your hearts and set up camp.

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My story centers around the 2011 Winter Classic. Not the game – David Steckel should walk into my office right now so I can put my stapler through his face. Rather, the lead up to the game ruined me, in three easy steps:

  1. NHL: “Crosby vs. Ovechkin is a thing. See all these TV commercials? We are making fetch happen.”
  2. Mr. Pants: “How would you feel about moving to the DC-area?”
  3. HBO 24/7: Penguins vs. Capitals.

I never liked the Caps growing up, but since they’d switched out of the Pens conference in ’93, I hadn’t cared. The League’s insistence on this rivalry brought the Caps into my home and my Center Ice feed. I tried to resist. This blog, born September 6, 2010, was originally full of me making fun of Mike Green – and meaning it. Then something happened.

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Mike Green’s belt. Four years later, still hilarious.

 

Here’s my original post about my descent into madness. The more I got to know the Caps, the more I liked them. Then I moved to the DC area. I went to my first Caps game two days later and watching my new “home” team, I couldn’t help hoping they did well. Not that well, but you know. Just a little well. Is that so bad?

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I KNOW, OKAY?! But it was too late. This is why you should vaccinate your children.

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Fine print: We won’t even knock Taylor Swift for performing in nearly every hockey jersey in the league. If the girl likes hockey, she is cool with us. But support too many teams and it’ll look as if you don’t really like any. [Google images gallery] Now, if Taylor turns up with an encyclopedic hockey mind, we retract this statement and offer her a guest blogger password.

Rule Three: Hold your ground

Firmly establish the hierarchy between your teams. It will be the most important component of your fandom. Favorites first, always. Even if it means Caps fans, who were your friends ten minutes ago, are taking this picture of you when the Pens go down 4-1:

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Perhaps your teams are in different divisions or conferences (the relief!). But they will eventually play each other. If you’re the two conference type, your greatest dream and worst nightmare could come true at the same time: your teams play each other in the Final. Arrive unprepared and you’ll be like Bella, trapped in the freezing cold and of course you have to cuddle with the shirtless werewolf or die, while the vampire is right outside listening to a pervy inner monologue. It’s your fault for not having a jacket.

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Don’t look so comfortable.

This gets tough in tight playoff races, like the Pens and Caps have now, when you kind of have to root for Team #2 to lose against everyone. They’re too close to Team #1, or in front of them, and basically ruining everything. Horcruxes, people. We never said it would be easy.

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Rule Four: Have a sense of humor

I have been chirped for my Crosby jersey at games in LA, San Jose, Anaheim, Atlanta (remember that experiment?), New York (Rangers) and, of course, DC.  I just laugh.  Luckily, most hockey fans are awesome and even if they hate Sid and the Pens, they’re nice to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl, but I prefer to think it’s because I’ve obeyed rules 1-3 and I know my stuff. And I’m just waiting for this moment:

  • Announcer: “Penguins goal by Sidney Crosby. His 20th of the season.”
  • Caps crowd: “Who cares?”
  • Me: “I do. I care.”

But I won’t lie – I hope Mike Green scores one. After the Pens score ten.

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Rule Five: It’s your party

How can you like two teams?! Teams that hate each other? How can you be at odds with the fundamental tenet of sports? Obviously you are an idiot/bandwagoner/in it for the hot guys/not a real fan.  That argument can (and will) be used against you for a litany of imagined offenses no matter who you root for. We say do what you want. Love who you love. Stay weird.

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Finally, if you’re a one-team kind of person, know this: I envy you. I have a lot of love to give, which leaves a lot of open wounds when my teams don’t love me back.  I trade slightly better odds of winning for twice the angst come spring and playoffs. Told you I was bad at math.

Foxy Friday: Tristan Harper

47 feet of snow on the ground. People jumping off their roofs into snow banks.  Wind chills of -20F.

While I suffer through this historic Boston winter, I got a little something to warm me (and you) up.

(full disclosure: I am writing this post after a copious amount of sake. I am not responsible for my actions. #BuzzedBloggin)

Foxy Friday: Tristan Harper

 

Remember that movie Weird Science?  Well if Pants and I starred in the Hollywood remake, this might be the perfect boy we’d create.

HE HAS A GINGERBEARD FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!!

HE HAS A GINGERBEARD FOR PETE’S SAKE!!!!

 

Tristan Harper is a hockey player for the Braehead Clan in Glasgow, Scotland of the EIHL. I didn’t even know they played hockey in Scotland.

But I do now.

I’ve been to Scotland.  Had I know they had men like this that also played hockey – I never would have come back.  I would have sold everything I own, purchased a Scottish hockey club (and a sheepdog), and live happily ever after.

My morning meetings would consist of tea and jammie dodgers and player development meetings would be beard grooming lessons and highland games.

Wonder of what's under that kilt...

Wonder of what’s under that kilt…

 

He’s a NHL-worth 6’2″, with a beard that proves that a well-groomed can increase a man’s hotness power ranking exponentially.

His beard – it’s impeccable.  Never did I imagine that a beard would exists that could compete with the best but it seems that Zetterbeard may have some serious competition for my pogonophilic admiration.

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Wanna stroke it like a cat.

Oh and his name is Tristan.  You remember the first time that you fell in love with a Tristan?

I do.

Howdy. (from bellecs.tumblr.com)

While my new love isn’t exactly tearing it up in the points department (6 pts in 45 games), he does have 62 PIM and his team is in 1st play in the league, so he’s got that going for him.

Also going for him – this.

And this…

#NerdLikeUs

#NerdLikeUs

Oh and let’s not forget this…

Scottish boyfriend sweaters are just as hot as the Canadian ones.

Scottish boyfriend sweaters are just as hot as the Canadian ones.

 

You can follow Tristan at @harpoon26 and check him out on Instagram.

I will warn you though – his IG feed does cause side effects – heart palpitations, swooning and/or fainting, dizziness, lightheadedness, the “feels”, the “schwings”, ovarian aches, or Lady Gaga YAAAASSSSSing.  Verklepmtion lasting longer than four hours required immediate medical attention.

And if you didn’t think beards make any guy hotter, check this.

Boom. Instahottie.

Boom. Instahottie.

(Thanks to the multiple people who brought this man to my attention.  You know my type and you are true gems of humanity.)

 

You love Jonathan Toews

I can’t resist hockey players and kids, and no one can resist Girl Scout cookies. Not the Blackhawks, not Andrew Shaw and not Jonathan Toews. Video: #WhatsYourGoal: Alexis wants to sell cookies to Jonathan Toews In the video, Captain CharmingPants is back, and this time, he irons.

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Which is the only thing on Earth he isn’t good at.

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This is a guy who scored his first NHL goal on his first NHL shot during his first NHL shift in his first NHL game. Remember when he got so mad at the All-Star Skills Competition because he didn’t hear the cue to start? This look on his face is TrueToews, the one he keeps locked away since Captain Serious changed his costume. There is also a puppy, in case any of me survived.

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This comes hot on the tail of Tazer’s vitally important in-arena message: don’t get up to pee during the game. HOLD IT, PEOPLE! (Everyone looks at me, doing the pee pee dance in my seat.) That glorious contribution can be seen here.

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BlackhawksTV, still the best.

Never Grow Up

If you keep losing to the Capitals and making me look like a chump in front of important people (like my boss, @raedanda, Mike Green, etc.), the second best way to my heart is through tiny skates and giggling.

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Smile, there are girls watching.

 

Yeah, I’m a sucker.  Check out video of Crosby & friends surprising the Little Penguins hockey camp yesterday.

You can tell Flower has a kid, because he is not afraid to pick them up and spin them around and tackle them. The rest of this is like a Meeting of the Future Hot Dads of Western Pennsylvania:

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It’s an omelet!

 

Sorry, wrong picture.

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Then I surprised her with flowers and…

 

Yeah, that one. As usual, the kids are having fun, but the guys are having even more.

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Do they make those socks in long?

 

Does this make you want to have kids? I showed it to my mom, who gave me “Disappointed Parent Re: Failure to Procreate Face”, then pronounced MAF her favorite Penguin. He has not let her down.

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Go forward, tiny human.

 

The Little Penguins program, which Crosby sponsors, outfits kids with head-to-toe gear and they participate in camps. There are even some girls-only camps, because girls rule.

Video: Crosby at Little Pens practice in 2013

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It’s not nice to make fun of people, unless they’re Borts. That’s okay.

 

Here’s a story on it from USA Today, plus a few shots on Penguins’ Instagram and Snapchat, if you know how to use that. Maybe these kids could teach me after hockey practice.

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This game is called “What’s Wrong With Our Power Play!”

 

The Good Lie

In his latest and greatest Valentine’s Day video, Cabbie gets Tyler and Jamie to prank their mothers by announcing they will propose to their respective girlfriends on Valentine’s Day.  Girlfriends their mothers have never met, because they aren’t real.

 

We here at WUYS hold a few truths to be self-evident:

1) Cabbie for President – of a made-up country we start because he can’t actually be our President, as a Canadian. This is in the fine print somewhere.

2) The Dallas Stars want to be your favorite team.

3) Tyler Seguin is an excellent liar. We assume he only uses this when necessary, but that boy could sell you a bridge.

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4) Jamie Benn, not so much.

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5) And finally, moms are the best. Every one, every time.

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Feel free to cut the end off this video, play it for your own parents and announce, “Meet my fiance!”

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But you haven’t actually met him, so…

 

Thank you to @charlieryan58 for sending this!

Enjoy a throwback Valentine: Cabbie and the Oilers PUPPIES with Actual Puppies

 

Foxy Friday: Tom Wilson

Foxy Friday has been known to possess great power, often resulting in immediate goal-scoring (You’re welcome, Ekblad.) and a general increase in overall hockey prowess. Hey, we strut a little when people tell us we look nice too! In the interest of using our powers for good, we turn a long-awaited Friday eye toward someone who could use the help.

Foxy Friday: Tom Wilson

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Tom Wilson has been on the list for future Friday-ing since, well, since he was way too young to be on that list.  Aren’t they always? He had also been in the Capitals lineup consistently, spending time on the Ovi/Backstrom line, and some more time in the box for boxing.

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Since December 23, Tom has been fighting that elusive illness we call “healthy scratch.” It bit him again Wednesday night in San Jose. Now, we’re not doctors, but we watch them on TV. And the only prescription for this is more Foxy Friday.

First, the good news: Tom Wilson is 20.

Wait, that’s not good news. He was born in 1994, the same year as my first car. It’s times like this that I enjoy my inability to properly process math.

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He’s from Toronto, and is pretty much the future pool-boy-next-door of college-aged Chuck’s dreams: 6’4″, longish hair, looks like he could rock a mean flannel, chop down trees, rescue you in the forest – general woodsman duties. Not sure about the beard though, not on this babyface.

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EPIX’s “Road to the Winter Classic” show gave us a look inside the bachelor pad Tom shares with Caps teammate Michael Latta.  These two are besties in the best ways. Vacation:

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Guest star Foxy Friday: Liam O’Brien. Here’s another.

 

Slumber parties:

 

Twitter discussions of the English language:

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wacky Twitter Q&A in which they agree with everything I have ever said:

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Driving with expired inspection stickers and bulk buying ketchup. (In an unrelated story, @lm1485 and I once convinced our boss that ketchup was the Official Condiment of the Washington Capitals. WE WERE RIGHT!)

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This & many more from www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com

[More video: Tom’s game commentary, ride along with Latta & Schmidt]

I’ve met Tom twice, and he is the strapping, handsome, friendly guy with the reach to knock out an opponent that you imagine. You would have spent high school writing “Mr. And Mrs. Chuck-Wilson” on your binder, while your dad sat on the porch with a goalie stick (it’s Canada) to make sure no one snuck out (or climbed in. See: woodsman duties.).

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How did we live before internet?

 

Did I mention Tom is Mr. February on the Capitals Canine Calendar? He gazes across DC offices from his softly-lit clearing in the woods (!), hair all glossy and holding not one, but two puppies! Only he isn’t holding them because why, why would they run away when Valentine’s Day is just arriving? This should be a Lifetime movie, where a nerdy girl who volunteers at an animal shelter meets the hunk of her dreams at a charity calendar photo shoot. Consider this my copyright.

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Pupface says it all.

 

That puppy on the right is hitting the high note in “I Will Always Love You.”

Tom has played on the Caps top line. He fights too, rather often – I’ve seen more Tom Wilson fights in person than any other player. Maybe he’s trying to impress me., though I was more impressed by this one time he didn’t fight. (Against a Flyer, no less. What is happening to me?) And by this time he got KO’d by a Make a Wish kid. He’s been called the team’s “heart and soul” and the Caps have said they don’t want to “dull his edge” – but they also don’t want him turning the puck over, especially not during valuable Oveckhin ice time.

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Not-So-Average Joes

 

Lately, Tom has also been instrumental in the Captials’ support of young fan Bensten Schone, who was hurt in a sledding accident. You can help too – send him some love using #prayforBman. See the Caps video for Bensten, and watch (we mean cry) as Bensten watches it for the first time.

Also, watch Caps announcer Wes Johnson’s awesome video.

The Caps are out west for the weekend (vs. LA and ANA) then in Pittsburgh Tuesday night, where I will not be rooting for Tom or any combination of the Washington lineup. Until then, may this Friday help a fox get his groove back.

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What, you want more puppies?

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Pocketful of puppy.

 

Like the puppy you missed in the bottom there?

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MY TURN?? MY TURN!!

 

Because I can go all day.

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Puppyselfie. That does it.

 

Follow Tom on Twitter (@tom_wilso) and Instagram, and hopefully on TV during a Caps game soon.  Until then, enjoy this time the boys all went to see The Interview:

 

And where, while ‘working’ my real job, I didn’t get out of the shot fast enough.

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Busted. (You bet I volunteered to work that event.)

 

Pens & Pins

A snappy headline escapes me today, but the annual Pens & Pins charity event was held last night, and look who was looking good.

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No surprise there.

 

PensTV has a video feature from the event. Everyone is always having so much fun, from the players to the kids. And who wouldn’t? Bowling makes awkward lumps of us all – except apparently Simon Despres, who owns his own bowling gear.

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Work hard, play hard.

 

For most, even professional athletes, bowling is a great equalizer where success comes accidentally but often enough that you feel you might just actually get the hang of this someday. If not, there’s usually a crane game and maybe even karaoke.

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Is it easier to bowl with long arms?

 

Not Geno, though. He’s a pro. He’s Grease lightning. He bowled two strikes in a row. [Video]

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I am score.

 

How’d everyone else do?

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I cannot work Snapchat, people.

 

Coach Johnston (who I think of as “Coach J,” as if he’s my own coach) seems like a kindly high school principal, guiding his charges into adulthood with calm and poise. I have the urge to ask him what to do with my future, so he can explain it in a way that makes me realize I knew all along.

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Right, BSutts? Right.

 

Check out a few more photos at Make A Wish of GPA & WV. I leave you with this:

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All that, and snacks too.

Donations to Make-a-Wish (still tax deductible through April 15!) can be made at www.wish.org.