What's Up, Ya Sieve

If last night’s Bruins/Rangers game was a movie, it would be called “There Will Be Blood”.

Lumber was a-flying and the team trainers were going through cotton gauze like Taylor Swift goes through boyfriends.

Patrice Bergeron, Zdeno Chara, and Carl Hagelin were just some of the players that needed zippers to close up gashes. Tyler Seguin got clubbed in the face trying to split the Rangers D.

And even with a blood stained sweater and egg above his eye, the Professor is still absolute perfection.

Bruins took a decisive 3-0 series lead on the Rangers last night with a 2-1 victory at Madison Square Garden.  Lundqvist was stellar in net and showed us all why he’s nominated yet again for the Vezina Trophy.

While Lundqvist was great, the Bruins’ 4th line was better.  Shawn Thornton, Gregory Campbell, and Danny Paille were by far the best line for either team.  I double dog dare you to name a more productive and skilled 4th line in the entire NHL.

Merlot Line.  Drink it up. Tastes so smooth.

The advantage of having a 4th line like the Bruins, is that most teams don’t have an answer for them.  They simply don’t have the personnel to get the  match-up needed to neutralize the speed of Paille, the physicality of Thornton, or the shot of Campbell.  The Merlot Line has accounted for five of the team’s six points (1 G, 4 A, 6 SOG).

Last night, Paille scored what might be the most fluky, improbably goal in the Playoffs.  The puck bounced off Lundqvist’s mask, fluttered down to the goal line, then bounced forward, AWAY from the net.  Paille was then able to put it in.  Everyone was all “WTF just happened?!”

Other game notes….

Teen Wolf Tyler Seguin is still looking for his first goal of the playoffs…but it is most certainly not for a lack of trying. He’s been shifted to the 3rd line but don’t think for a minute that this is a demotion.  Playing with Peverley and Kelly has seemed to open up his game and allowed him to get some quality scoring opportunities.  But he has got to be frustrated.

Young Guns on Defense – The Bruins’ young defensemen Torey Krug & Matt Bartkowski have had a great series so far.  Krug has scored 2 goals in 3 games.  What he might lack in size, he more than makes up for in skill.

Soft hands, people.

Jagr’s Beard.

What is this thing?  At first, I thought that it was shaved in the middle, like some weird mutton chop thing you might find on an extra in Game of Thrones.  But then it realized that it is just gray.

You know, the more I look at it, the more I love it.  It is bizarre, but when you are one of the greatest players in the game and on your way to the Hall of Fame, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Bruins can close out the series with a win tomorrow, sweeping the series and securing a spot in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Should that happen Thursday, I would not want to be anyone in that Rangers’ locker room.

An open letter to the Boston Bruins….

Hey guys -

Chuck here.  I know you have a Game 7 tonight so I just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement.

Don’t F**K it up.

Seriously.

You had this  series.  You HAD it.

You were up 3-1 in the series.  The Maple Leafs team is good good, but not THAT good.

You started off with domination…then have slowly disintegrated like the Death Star after Luke and Rogue Squadron had at it.

Every time James Reimer saves yet another Tyler Seguin shot, I feel this.

Whenever you don’t take that shot when you clearly have the opportunity, I feel this.

I’m over it, Bruins.  Time to man up and make this happen.

Give me what I want!

Boston Bruins center David Krejci is a Clark Kent.

During the regular season, he is just this mild-mannered guy, playing good hockey.  He’s not particularly flashy.   In fact, some times you don’t even realize he is there.

Then playoffs come around.

And he becomes this.

In just four games this post season, Krejci has 10 points.

10 POINTS!

That’s an average of 2.5 points a game (!).  In 46 games in the regular season, he had 33 points (10 goals, 23 assists.)

He has scored 5 goals and 3 of those game on Wednesday, when DK46 lit up the Leafs and helped the Bruins take a 3-1 series lead.

No affects of kryptonite here, people.

His Superhero hockey powers no doubt make him worthy of this Foxy Friday honor, but there are plenty of other reasons why he is so deserving.

So who exactly is #46 in the Black and Gold?

• He is the love child of Mike Modano and Napoleon Dynamite.

• He rocks camo way better than those guys from Duck Dynasty. (Except maybe Jace.)

• He is the creamy vanilla middle of this black and gold Oreo.

• Proper hydration is very important to him.

• If this blog has taught you anything, it is that we appreciate a man that can rock the plaid.

• He loves Tyler Seguin.  So do we. So…Do…We.

Bruins can close out the series with the Leafs on home ice today and move onto the 2nd round.

I, for one, can’t wait.  I might even sing about it.

I’m a publicist in real life, which generally leads me to desire a talking ban on everyone until their comments have been approved.  But that’s my dream world.

Last night, Duncan Keith made a probably sexist, definitely stupid remark to a female reporter after the Blackhawks loss to Vancouver.  From Puck Daddy:

• Keith: “What did you see?”
• Thomson: “Well, there it looked like there was a penalty that went undetected. You seemed a bit frustrated.”
• Keith: “Oh, no. I don’t think there was. I think he scored a nice goal, and that’s what the ref saw. Maybe we should get you as a ref maybe, hey?
• Thomson: “Yeah, maybe. Can’t skate though.”
• Keith: “First female referee. Can’t probably play either, right? But you’re thinking the game, like you know it? Seeya.”

This woman has likely heard worse on her way from the car to the rink, and she even Tweeted jokingly about it renewing the rivalry.  While I don’t think Duncan Keith hates women or any such nonsense, the part about her gender is so intensely stupid, so conversationally desperate that it makes me see red.

Also, in general it’s a good rule not to be a dick.  Sure, he’s frustrated.  The Hawks have only lost 6 games all year and he clearly has no idea how to handle the rampant devastation that results in crying himself to sleep on a giant fucking pile of money.  Since a single game loss is so eviscerating to DK, so obviously a sign that he cannot perform his job, then no wonder he thinks this woman can’t do any job at all.  Ridiculous, right?  Let’s be equal-opportunity jerks, at least.

Sarcasm – it’s for everyone!

Continuing this trend, Tyler Seguin used the phrase “no homo” in a Tweet yesterday.  Then he deleted it.  Hahaha – as if that ever worked. From SBNation:

He has since apologized for the reference.  It’s offensive, of course, but one of those phrases so widely used that I doubt he thought anything at the time.  He should have.  He wasn’t delivered by stork to the Bruins locker room yesterday, so he should know better than to put something in the kind of writing that you can never erase.  Just because he used a discriminatory term in a casual way doesn’t take away it’s meaning – even if that’s not what he meant.

Tyler Tweeted two apologies… I’m going out on a limb to say he only wrote one of them.  Left the period off the latest when cutting and pasting, for authenticity.

Then there is Matt Cooke.  Increasingly demoted from true asshole status over the last few seasons, if this story from Puck Daddy is at all true, then he’s on the list today too.  The source is so suspect that I believe Matt gets a pass.

Recently, Jess and I were quoting Sam from Love Actually and his brilliant, unintended summation of the NHL playoffs:

Worse than the total agony of being in love?

We’re almost there again.  The gut-wrenching, screaming-into-a-pillow, obsecenity-laden euphoria and destruction of the post-season.

In past years, the NHL has come up with some great commercials to capture this emotional meteor shower.

Granted these are for the Cup final, but I’ve been moved and inspired.  I’ve been fired up.

And I’ve wept like that time Professor McGonagall stepped between Harry and Voldemort in Deathly Hallows.

@Raedanda found these, the NHL’s first playoff commercials for teams that have clinched berths this year.  I have to say… BLEH.

I love a good montage, but these are doing nothing for me.  Not the Penguins, or the Toews/Kane bromance.

Not Foxy Friday Carey Price, not even Corey Perry’s overturned turtle goal-slide celebration.

I need blood and sweat, I need lowlights that I suffered through while my teams paid for their playoff berths in pounds of flesh.  I need feels.

Meh.  I am a hundred times more excited and terrified than these commercials let on.  Here’s hoping for better as this shortstop season draws to an end…

You all better get ready.  Sweden is coming to Boston!

Swedish star forward Carl Soderberg and the Boston Bruins reached an agreement on a multi-year contract Tuesday.

Finally, I’ll get my very own Swedish!

 While not on the level of say Viktor Stalberg, Henrik Lundqvist, Gabe Landeskog or the countless other ridiculously attractive Swedes that populate the NHL, he does sort of have an Eddie Redmayne/Heath Ledger-thing going on, which I am digging.

What I’m also digging that he is having his BEST season in the Smokin’ Hot Swedish Elite League – 31 goals & 60 points in 54 games.

At 6-foot-3 & 210-pound, Soderberg will bring some desperately needed size and scoring to the Bruins’ corps of forwards. *fingerscrossed*

By all accounts this looks to be a done deal with the only thing left to iron out was for the Swedish Ice Hockey Association to approve his transfer to the Bruins and the NHL.

But after the Great Iginla Caper of 2013, I won’t actually believe it is happening until the man steps off the plane, arrives at the Garden, dons a Bruins jersey, and gets on the ice.

Despite his potentially joining the team with about a dozen games left in the regular season, Soderberg would be eligible for the Stanley Cup Playoffs, provided that he play in one regular season game (Bruins already had his rights and on their reserve list.)

According to Bruins President Cam “Seabass” Neely, the team wants to give him a shot to prove himself.  Most likely he’d see time on the wing, as opposed to his regular center position.

Bruins have courted Soderberg for a number of years, but he always elected to stay in Europe.  Last year, they weren’t even sure if he’d ever play in the NHL.

So what changed?

Who knows? Don’t care.

What I do care about is how Soderberg adjusts his game for the NHL.  He has the skill set but we all know the game is decidedly different in Europe.

How will he handle the physicality and the smaller ice surface? For sure, his size will help, as will his skating ability, but that all remains to be seen.   Should that happen it has the potential to significantly help the Bruins in the playoffs.

Wonder how he is on the power play…

MEMO FROM CHUCK’S DESK

Oh what fresh HELL is this! The last 12 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. First, the drama of the Bruins/Candiens game. Never ceases to amaze me how these games can take me to the height of joy down to the bitter pit of despair so many time in a mere 60 minutes. At the disappointing end of last night’s game, I went to bed all wretched but optimistic that today would bring some glimmer of hope…namely in the form of Jarome Iginla.

Nope. Sorry. Not happening. Ray Shero is a dream crusher and life ruiner.

Ray Shero is also a cruel thief and magical wizard. I don’t know how he does his voodoo magic to make these great deals without sacrificing a single roster player. It is just not right. It is downright Faustian.

hilarious post from www.stanleycupofchowder.com

Interweb speculations says that Iginla changed his mind after seeing the Bruins lose to the Habs last night but I highly doubt that his decision was solely based on the outcome of a single game. I’m betting that the Bruins and Pens were his top choices and after careful consideration, he went with the team that he felt was the better fit for him.

Although it pains me admit, right now the Pens do look like the better team, but I worry about their defense and goaltending.  Letang on the IR and Fleury injured are never good things.  Can new acquisition Murray and backup Tomas Vokoun fill the void? Debatable….

I truly believe that Iginla would have been a better fit for the Bruins and their style of play.  He could have provided that goal-scoring, finishing ability that the Bruins need and the Pens definitely do not.  They are front loaded with fire power. Can’t someone throw a little something our way?

Our twitter feed is going to be insufferable today – all the Pens fans that Pants added squeeing and fangirling all over the place and everyone else pissed that they didn’t get Ignila or annoyed with all of those Pens fans.

With a little over a dozen games left in the season, it will be interesting to see what happens in the Eastern Conference.  But remember, the regular season is one thing…it’s all about the playoffs.

MEMO FROM PANTS’ CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS

Wow.  It’s only 10 AM and I (as part of the Pens fanbase) have been called a lot of names, via every social media platform available.  As I’m clearly obnoxious, insufferable, gloating, cocky, a fangirl and an ignorant jinx who only exists to ruin other hockey fans dreams’ all while prematurely hoisting the Cup, there isn’t much to say except that I’m happy for my team.

Haters gonna hate.

The Pens were a hard nine yesterday and today they’re a 10+.  But hot or not, they’ve still gotta keep winning.  If anyone learned anything: it’s not over till it’s over.  That goes for trades and it goes for seasons.  (Oh, maybe they also learned not to report news until it’s actually fact.)

Shero had a hand, he played it.  Iggy had a choice, he made it.  I hope it pays off for both, and the Pens, and for me.

Last night’s Bruins vs. Pens was pretty good…until the 3rd period.

That is when the Pens’ offence sprang to life and took advantage of some uncharacteristic mistakes by my beloved Bruins.  Pens scored 3 goals in under 5 minutes and went on to defeat the Bruins 3-2.

Now, I’m not making excuses [because there is no crying in hockey] but the Bruins did play night before in Ottawa and then had to hop on the plane to Pittsburgh.  Fatigue had to factor it at least a little bit.

Bruins’ #2 goaltender Anton “Dobby” Khudobin got the start and was stellar against the Pens’ potent offence.  Didn’t catch the game? Just check out the video clips here.  Most all of the saves clips are Khudobin’s.

Dobby has save after save after great save.  He was strong and aggressive in the net, especially on the Pens’ 5-on-3 when things could have got real ugly, real fast.

I can’t fault him for the loss because the 3 goals that the Pens did score were all good goals.  And really when the Pens score against you, pretty much all of their goals are good goals.

BTW – Dobby & dimples. It’s a good thing. 

Dobby make saves.  No allow goals. Dobby happy.

I love Dennis Seidenberg as a player and think that he is seriously underrated.  But last night’s game was sweet and sour for our favorite German.

He made a ridiculous play to save a goal…then made a ridiculous mistake that was the final nail in the coffin for the Bruins.

Hockey gods giveth and hockey gods taketh away.

Yeah, I know how you feel buddy.

This was definitely a game that the Bruins could have won.  They only but 16 shots on Fleury and with the way he’s been playing lately, this was a missed opportunity.  They should have peppered him with shots, sent Lucic in there to crash the net, and screened him all night long.  Had they done that, the outcome might have been very different.

Seguin’s goal was tres impressive.  (Watch it here.)  Being able elevate the puck like that while moving away from said puck – Skillz, people.  They don’t teach that in school.

Over the last few games, Seguin seems to have found his groove. He’s skating well, finding the puck, and looks like his scoring touch has returned. Add to that the great play of his line mates,  Bergeron and Marchand,and the Bruins’ 1st line is just chugging away like a little train.  Choo Choo! All aboard!

Bruins vs. Pens face off again this Sunday, March 17th.

This time, we’re gonna have the luck of the Irish on our side.

The last couple of days have been crazy.  Slammed at work. Prepping huge event. Plus 6-day work trip to Seattle.

Just when I think that it is all too much, I see this photo and feel instantly better.

photo courtesy of boston.com & Jessica Deitsch

Thanks, Tyler Seguin, for just being you.

We appreciate you so very very much.

Read the full story about this most awesome of photo bombs [here].

Mullets.  Eyebrows.  Fights.

Three things we love and post about probably more often than is normal.  But we can’t help it.

And when you have all three AT THE SAME TIME – well, we’re just smitten.  We must honor you with our most prestigious award.

This week’s Foxy Friday is Adam McQuaid of the Boston Bruins

This 6’5″ defencemen from Prince Edward Island might not be known to many outside of Boston but we’re out to change all that.

He’s so adorably Canadian, using words like “o-fence” and “eh”.  With eyebrows like his and a full mane of luxurious hair, all the world shall know the name “McQuaid.”

McQuaid is perhaps most famous for his hair, a riotous accumulation of dark curls like no other. It just won’t quit.

Seriously, it’s amazing.  I’m obsessed with it.

And apparently so is Adam.

Even in mullet form, his coif is pretty spectacular, while at the same time delightfully hilarious.

It takes a very special, confident man to wear this hair.  His hair alone is worthy of this Foxy Friday honor.

 In addition to the hair, he has also got some sweet eyebrows.  Look out, Zach Bogosian and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins Molly Ringwald.  You’ve been put on notice.

McQuaid is a classic defencemen – big, physical, and not afraid to mix it up when needed.  Like when he beat down Raffi Torres.

And Inigo Montoya.

Or this Canuck.

Now one must keep in top physical form in order to beat opposing players to a pulp.  Also, when Zdeno Chara freak of nature is your team mate, you best be hitting that gym wicked hahd. (God Bless the interweb and tumblr)

Squats.

Crazy legs.

Arms.

Walking.

Running.

Only adding to his legend is his nickname – Darth Quaider.  It might be one of the best EVER.  For Star Wars nerds like us, this is just beyond perfect!

from daysofyorr.com

If you’re ever find yourself lost in the woods with only a bag full of hockey sticks, some inner tubes, and a plank of wood, he’s a good friend to have.  You might even survive.

Besides all of these things, he’s just really freaking adorable.

Hope you enjoyed this week’s Foxy Friday, Mr. Adam McQuaid.  I know we certainly have.

“Oh what’s that you say?  You want to take me out on a date?”

Well, if you insist.