What's Up, Ya Sieve

Stockholm Syndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express empathy and have positive feelings toward their captors. (from Wikipedia)

Happy Wednesday, y’all.

I think we’ve posted this before but hey, it’s summer for some people and we’ve got a long way to go.  I CRY every time I watch this.  Then I laugh for half  an hour.  Then I go back, watch it again and think “Sasha is so pretty.”  (I mean REALLY.  Take away the early 90′s post-Communist haircut and look at that face!)

If WUYS ran the world, things like this would happen more often.  With intermissions for push up contests and  someone selling funnel cake.

So. Much. Eyeliner.  I can’t even look a Nicky, he looks like he’s blaming Mike for everything.

I have to back Dawn up on this one.  What the actual hell is going on, Caps?  Is it asking too much from you (Mike Green) to, um, I don’t know… PLAY at all during the 3rd period?  I know BB put you in time out.  He probably sent you to bed hungry.  And I’m sorry – I’ll give you a big hug.  But come on.  PS: Stop hitting Brooks in the face.

And Nicklas Backstrom, don’t think that Swedish helmet hair excuses you.  You may be Piglet to our Winnie the Pooh, but you gave up that puck like last night was prom and you couldn’t wait to get your dress off.

Sorry boys, but I’m mad.  Against all common sense and loyalty, you made me like you.  With your bromances and your Vespas and your This-or-That videos and talking about Diet Coke all the time.  With your Haagen-Dazs loving coach and your baby goalies.  I went to your games.  I moved to your city for %&@$’s sake!

All season I’ve felt traitorous.  Blame 24/7.  Crosby’s sending bitchy texts about losing focus and the ratio of Mike Green-to-Kris Letang blog posts.  But it’s okay because you’re not in the Pens division.  And now they’re golfing while you still have a chance.

So it’s your turn to do something for me.  I’ve admitted how I feel about you.  This is the part where you tell the world you love me back, even if we’re star-crossed and odds are against us.  You sing “Can’t Keep My Eyes Off of You” to the whole school at lunch.  You give me your Bobby Hull game sweater for Christmas.  We can have one playoff run where anything is possible.  Here’s your one chance, Fancy.  Don’t let me down.

Whenever someone messes up in a Caps game I think, “Thank God it wasn’t Mike.”  But last night, it was.

I hung around Verizon for about 30 min yesterday after the Nationals game, deciding if I should spend way too much money on a hockey ticket or save it for Game 5.  If there is a Game 5.  There has to be, right?  Well good thing I didn’t go because I would have cried.

Halfway through the third, Squishy tried to pass through the crease.  The puck hit Mike’s skate like a backboard and went right in behind Neuvy.  It could have happened to anyone.  Lecavalier was right there with a wide open net anyway.  But UGH, Mike looked so sad looking up at the Jumbotron.

Shortly after, Mike took a bad penalty for sticking his elbow in Steven Stamkos’ face.  Someone’s been reading WUYS and got a little jealous over my fangirling Friday night.  Stammer weighs like 180, he wasn’t going to crush anyone into the boards.  But Mikey facewashed him anyway (because I said I like his beard).

I couldn’t watch to power play, too worried that TB would score again.  The Caps did kill it off (thank heaven) and Ovi got a beauty of a Hail Mary to send the game to overtime.  New hope, right?

Nope.  Lecavalier scored in OT to put the Bolts up by two games.  The Caps just can’t get a bounce!  Boucher will keep talking like they are underdogs and fighting an uphill battle and… oh shut up.  If you’re going to play great and convert on every opportunity then at least own it.

Shake it off, Mike.  If you’re sad then Nicky and Brooksy are sad and Sasha’s hair is so 90s that he can only take so much post-Cold War dreariness.  You’ll take the whole bromance down.  So have yourself a group hug, get iCarly to photobomb someone and you’ll feel better.  Work on your already suspicious tan in Florida and just relax.  Wins are coming.  We can feel it.  And some people can STFU, thankyouverymuch.

I found these and Kris Letang has one too so you can watch both. But Brooksy actually explains something I really didn’t know. And leave it to Mr. OCD to break it down in simple terms.

Plus. I really can’t resist men with power tools.

An Epic Bromance is more like it! Watch Ovi light up when he talks about ‘Semmy’ and Mike Green later on about his roommate Nicky B. No wonder these guys keep winning! There is so much love here, no woman will ever come between them and their underarmour!

And sorry ladies, I wouldn’t room with Brooksy, too ODC for me!

Mike Green skated with the team in Tampa this morning but still isn’t feeling right. Does Mike Green ever ‘feel right’? OK. Don’t answer that. It’s a good sign that he is on the ice but after practice when interviewers talked to him the below video was captured.

Nicky had to use a fire extinguisher while Brooksy and Ovi held him down. This evidently has been happening frequently. Jane Goodall is being called in for an intervention. Stay tuned.

Combine the power of the most popular Foxy Friday Alexander Ovechkin and the last  Foxy Friday Brooks Laich, add three newbies Jason Arnott (who knew this hottie was wasting away in New Jersey and I predict future Foxy Friday!), meiner lieblinge Herr Sturm and Dennis Wideman and you will get a goal by Brooksy with 47.2 seconds left in the game to tie, send into OT and a stellar fricken old fashion OH-NOVI-DIDN’T GOAL by OVI HIMSELF OLD SCHOOL THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT KIDS!

Whew! Now THAT is why I love the Caps! And watch out East coast! Because GM GM got it done by trade deadline. Hop Mop in Pittsburgh, Ovi just traded you in for Jason Arnott. SORRY! He’s much taller. He doesn’t have the fabulous long hair but he is a better passer and Herr Sturm will give you a run for your money on speed but I might pay to watch the two of you in a backwards skate off! I still love you though. But I love the Caps more. All much more gabillion of them! Thank you GM GM.

Three of our top searches yesterday? Mike Green, Capitals bromance, Washington Capitals bromance.  I think this means you want Mikey Monday: Bromance Edition.  We exhibited yesterday why Mikey needs a hug these days and who better to deliver than his ENTIRE team?

It must take hours to amass so many exhibits for our bromance case files, right?  Wrong.  Two minute search people. And the bromance isn’t picky: Ovi, Nicky, Brooks, Sasha… Mikey loves them all.  Or they all love him.

So much love, it almost makes you like the Capitals.  No?  Perhaps one more?

There are gentlemen and there are gentlemen and then there are men named Brooks. I seriously don’t know if any other sport has as many men in it named Brooks. Seriously. Do these women get a handbook in the delivery room with a list and don’t get past the B’s in Canada?

But this is aboot OUR Mr. Brooksy. Our unsung Mr. Brooks whom I must brag that Mr. Cherrie and his Puck Bunny Posse used to watch play as a Foxy Cublet here in Seattle as a Seattle Thunderbird. What’s that you say? It’s a WHL team. He credits getting traded to Seattle as one of the best things that happened to his career. What? Here? OK. If you say so. I went to one or two games with Mr. Cherrie in that time period so I guess I can say I probably saw Brooks play but I honestly don’t remember. It wasn’t his fault, it would be mine. I didn’t care at the time. I KNOW. SACRILEGE. BURN ME AT THE STAKE. But the jokes on me now – isn’t it?

He made it to the big time and I’m still in Seattle – watching Mr. Laich on Center Ice rather than at Key Arena or way down in Kent! Yuck! Don’t even ask. But I’m glad one of ours made it big. And made it big on a team I LIKE! That’s even hotter! That’s almost like two degrees of separation above. Me – Brooks – Ovi.

He didn’t go big in the draft. He’s worked his way up. It’s been a long road. And he is still developing. He’s a blue-collar hockey man, much like the fans. He knows where he’s been. He knows where he wants to be. He knows how to get there and isn’t afraid of the hard work it takes to get there.

If you’re wondering why Brooks keeps his hair cropped, don’t. He would put Mike Green to SHAME. Seriously. And if you’re wondering why Brooks is single? He is in a bromance with the entire team. Seriously. His O.C.D. is so O.O.C. “If I asked you about your family, you would talk about them forever because it’s something you love. That’s the way I feel about this team. This team is my life, and I love playing here and I’m passionate about playing hockey. So it’s easy for me to talk about it.” Enough said.

The incident below I think best sums up our Foxy Friday Man and mind you, he was in his suit and it was pouring rain as well, which they neglect to mention in this version:

Laich received national media attention when he stopped to help two stranded Capitals fans change their flat tire after a Game 7 loss in the 2010 NHL playoffs. When he came across the woman and her teenaged daughter stranded on the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge, Laich stopped to install their spare and apologized for the club’s early loss in the playoffs. When asked about the incident, Laich responded “It’s not a big deal. It was just a tire. The lady was stranded on the side of the road, I saw that it was just a lady and her daughter, and I figured my tire expertise outweighed hers.”

NOW THAT IS FOXY!