What's Up, Ya Sieve

Why Drew, No shirt? No Shoes? ah ... but you will get service - eh?!

So if Shanna-hammer works for the NHL … the CBJ’s think, no they KNOW God works for the LA King’s because HEstopped time last night so Drew Doughty could make the below posted game winner-winner donut dinner last night!

That is the only explanation I can come up with but evidently the NHL is trying to come up with another one like, say, some one cheated and actually physically STOPPED the clocked for one second. Puppet please. Ask Mike Babcock. Only God could stop a clock for exactly one second and whisper softly in Drew’s ear and say, “Go donut, go!”

But they reviewed the goal in the war room and called it good so I’m not really sure what the who-ha still is. hahaha - I said war room. Seriously. WAR ROOM. Does any one else laugh about that? I envision a version of Air Plane with Lloyd Bridges, Leslie Nielsen, and George C. Scott with huge cigars, several giant bottles of empty Jack Daniels and then spinning one of them around on yes or no or maybe. Which ever it lands on, they pick the best of two.

I say it's a good goal

 

goaltender interference

BINGO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am the god of hell fire and I bring

Drew was due, that we knew. Should I make all this rhyme too? It was review-able but it was still do-able.
But the refs said it was good, that made the CBJ’s bang their wood and Drew got a goal with only .04 to go and you can watch it above in slow-mo!

Since Ovi is obligated to shave with his Gillette contract –  he’s out. Plus he’s in dire need of a hug.

don't worry Ovi, we all have those days

with or without, it don't matter

oh yes, i'd ride that

or this into the sunset

yippee kiya cowboy!

But there’s still time for the rest of us to take the challenge as I pointed out last year!

they all took the challenge - that's why they're smiling!

come on in, the waters fine ... don't mind if I do

Oh hockey Gods – here me now. I want to see some rimming in the corners, some going hard against the boards, maybe see Drew/Kris bang a couple dirty ones in. Or hey, they could go after each other like rams. Can you tell I’ve been saving these quotes for a post like this? Or they could go hard on hard.

I got it! Oh yes you do ....

Or if worst comes to worst and the game ties, we will go to a hair flipping/ fashion contest:

Either way, work or no work, I’m not missing this meeting of defense men hotties. My two favorites going at it – oh god. It’s better than, well, no, I can’t think of anything actually except for being there to bang on the glass (eh hum) and cheer them on in person.

LA Kings just ended the stalemate with hottie Mc Hottieton Drew Doughty – $ years, I mean 8 years for $56 million donuts, I mean dollars.

That means Drew can buy 56,565,656 diet cokes at $.99 each. Or 32,000,000 cupcakes at $1.75 each. Or 12,444,4444 4×4 at IN N OUT at $4.50 each.

Now that I’ve done my higher math for the evening, that should keep DDTBG not only closer to God, but the fast food peeps rolling in dough, pardon the pun, for at least $, I mean 8 more years.

Drew baby, you are totes PWNING DA NOOBS tonight!

Drew Doughty got $ AND Hops!

DDTBG is a no-show at training camp and he is the last hold out in the restricted free agent circle. I don’t think I would need to look far to find him. Anyone, anyone?

Come on Drew, you know you wanna take a bite!

I need my West Coast honey … You turned down a rumored 9 years /61.2 million. That would buy you a Krispy Kreme Franchise! OK – Tim Hortons - you could re-name it Doughty’s Donut Holes. I don’t care. Just sign. I know you don’t want to be tied down, well, not in that sense, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, my little hip shaker! But why all that training and diet coke drinking over the summer if you aren’t planning on playing? So please, I’m waiting for you to fill my cream puff – NOW. TYVM.

Ok – so MelTing sent me this last week and I have been ‘in dispose’ as of late. Sorry sweet Mel – partner in DDTBG crime.

You won't be smiling from the sidelines....

But it doesn’t change two facts: ONE: Drew Doughty STILL hasn’t signed with the LA KINGS and TWO: it’s true that SOME HOW he got hotter over the summer. I don’t know how he did it. Maybe he’s been working out with Kris Letang. But Sweet Baby Jesus on a glazed donut with spinklies – he is looking toned, taut and super duper tasty lately – ladies.

But no matter how hot lookin’ he may be, if he doesn’t have a hockey contract, it won’t be doin’ him no good come October. So by the power of Grey Stoke, I command you Drew Doughty – SIGN ALREADY! You may say it’s not up to you but I don’t think it’s your managers playing hockey the last time I watched so make like Nike and DO IT. You’ve done the work now pick up the pen and sign on the dotted line and put a pretty X for your name. I wanna see some action in October from that nice hockey butt you’ve worked on, some jacked up hits I know you’ve got in you and some sweet yammerin’ from those lips.

oh boy, watcha gonna do know?

I’m leaving him for YOU. Cue Adele. Well. I heard a rumor that DDTBG was holding out for more dough, ah, I mean signing with the Kings because he was waiting to see what Shea Weber was going to do during his arbitration. Why you ask? Well the mill said he felt he was on par with the mighty Weber and what he could get, DDTBG could get or more.

7.5 million dollar man

I say, Weber hasn’t been touched by god – he may be touched by a mighty beard in play-off times, a slap shot that would put fear in many a goalie, many of our loyal readers may want to touch him – cue Samatha Fox – yes I WENT THERE! For those of you who have NO IDEA WTF I’m talking about -she was Ke$ha before, well just watch for yourself. But ah, not feeling the comparison. And I’ll leave it at that. Not touching it with a ten-foot pole because everyone knows how much I LOVE DDTBG.

Now the Hockey Gods have spoken, I don’t think it’s quite what DDTBG was hoping for; 7.5 million and a one year contract.  While that may buy DDTBG a whole lot of IN N OUT BURGERS, it’s not the golden ticket to security I think he was hoping for with the KINGS, or should I say, the golden throne, the golden contract, the golden crown, OK, I think you get the analogy.

Now he’s caught between Timmy the Tank and a goal post and that’s not a good place to be. Vancouver knows how that feels!

hard times... hard times are comin'