Did everyone enjoy the Nickelback Convention last night? The Awkard Turtle Unfunny Comedy Tour?
There were a few bright spots, like Will Arnett. Especially when he shanabanned Ovi for blocking Brooks Laich’s parking spot and sentencing him to ride on the back of Mike Green’s scooter.
WHY CAN’T THIS BE REAL LIFE?
While peering between our fingers at the anguish of embarrassment onstage, we of course noted how well-dressed and handsome most of the NHL looked. After months of beards that would get a guy double-frisked at the airport, it’s a reminder that hockey players clean up pretty nicely. Here are some of our favorite fashion moves:
If you Google “Giroux plaid suit,” three of the top six results are from this blog. No joke. That’s 42% – the same percentage of Claude Giroux‘s clothes that are plaid. Coincidence? He wore this to Media Day:
One plaid is not enough.
Of course, the plaid-tasticness on display at the Awards ceremony, where Claude was announced as the EA Sports NHL13 cover winner. He said, “I’m not sure I’m a model.” Only because celebs don’t get photographed wearing the same clothes every damned day.
Claude did bring something new to the show – BizNasty. This was my favorite moment of the Red Carpet because all three of them were thinking the same thing (as the rest of us): Sex tape.
This is by far our favorite fashion trend. Adam Henrique has been wearing this three-piece suit for weeks now – hey, he had to do a lot of playoff pressers. Here’s hoping he’s got a whole closet full of them. The purple tie/lavender shirt combo is trending without being obnoxious. While he didn’t win the Calder, he still looks like a Major Award.
The last time Steven Stamkos won a Rocket Richard Trophy, he wore a shiny silver suit. It was okay if you really like Ben Stiller’s character from Dodgeball, but Stammer also had to stand next to Crosby the whole time. This year, he knew just how to hog the spotlight:
I missed the part where he dipped Cheryl Burke to the floor and blushed like a bride. (Chuck did not. It was swoon-inducing.) Probably a good thing, I can only handle so much Stamkos smiling. Erin Andrews approves:
THE SKINNY TIE
Tuesday, Gabriel Landeskog joked about wearing a bow tie to the Awards. It would have been nice knowing you, melted interwebs.
Alas, Gabe chose this hipster skinny tie and while it is just a tad too short, you can’t even be disappointed with the way he looks.
Gabe the Babe
Landeskog dedicated his Calder Trophy win to his grandfather, making us all cry. So many emotions and landeskoging – good thing we’re already teenage girls on the inside. [video] Also, Charlie Conway/Pacey Whitter presented the award. Time to break out the Cruel Intentions DVD, we think.
We know Evgeni Malkin loves the casual look, from his parade of questionable t-shirts. But Geno brought his A-game to the Awards, sporting the open-collar, “I could be in the Mafia” look to pick up all his awards - the Lindsay, Hart and Art Ross Trophies, as well as our special award for being the Most Adorable Panda.
If this doesn’t make you squee, check your emotion chip because your android brain is malfunctioning.
Oh, come on! We all said it when we saw Henrik Lundqvist. So what if he dropped it on TV, it’s not like you were on NBC or anything. They should make him a special edition Vezina Trophy that’s just a mirror. A big one.
THE MAYBE NEXT YEAR
Apparently it takes a few days for a $45.5 million check to clear, or Erik Karlsson would have had a new suit. We’ll give him a pass because winning the Norris Trophy at 22 is kind of a big deal. However we suggest this hot-pink-and-black look be reserved for a cool pair of custom sneakers or an ironic prom. It’s too shiny. The pants were bordering on high-waters. That shirt burns our irises.
Also, the Uncle Rico mustache has to go. Call us in September before NHL Media Day, please.
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
ADDITION: ACK! I was expecting Chuck to add Bergeron and I forgot to remind her! Patrice and his Selke Award were equally flawless last night… and holy cow, his girlfriend is a fox too. *Sigh* Some people have all the luck. He is beyond classy.
Did we miss anyone? We were a little busy planning our outfits for this shitshow next year, because there is no excuse to stay home.
Missing it this year was a turrible awful mistake on our parts. It will never happen again. Maybe Karlsson should keep the pink shirt so I can point and laugh while Mike Green carries away the Norris… okay, I’m getting delusional.
Back to looking at stilettos…