Points for This

JamesNeal.com here, reporting for duty.  James has been stuck at 9 goals for a while – Kessel Cartman has 11 and Stamkos has 10.  Do you think Steven chirps James about passing him in the stats?  What if they did it on Twitter?  We would die, that’s what. Nealer has 14 points in 15 games, […]

Dumb & Dumber (& Dumber)

Tyler Kennedy tweeted this picture of himself & JStaal as Harry and Lloyd from Dumber & Dumber. They’re a little late to the party – Toews & Burish rocked this one in ’09.  But I have to say that the Pens boys upped the ante – hats + JStaal’s wig = infinitely more frightening committed. […]

Glamour Shots: Pittsburgh Penguins

All other NHL teams have officially been put on notice. We wish more teams would highlight their talent like this. And by highlight, we mean take insanely attractive glamour shots of their players and create calendars which we can buy and hang in our offices and sigh dreamily over as we format excel spreadsheets, take […]

I was just going to say that…

Sam Kasan’s reports from Penguins practices are daily gold and you should never miss them.  But today, it’s truly special [link]. In honor of Crosby being cleared for contact, he dedicates Weezer’s cover of Britney’s “(Hit Me) Baby… One More Time.”  (Warning: it sounds a lot like the time I sang it, in costume, at […]

Sunday with the Pens

The Penguins hosted a town hall-style meeting today for the season ticket holders and any woman under the age of dead. You can watch the highlight video [link] and bask in the combined happiness of these guys.  No one bothers to ask Geno why he’s wearing Ovi’s jeans.  Watch Sid take the ice… we see […]

He's Just Not That Into You

There was panic in loveland when Patrick Kane moved his locker stall from next to Toews’ to across the room.  Aw, did somebody stay out too late and have to sleep on the couch?  You know Kaner drinks right from the OJ carton too.  Tazer hates that! Okay, I had a whole post going in […]

I Love You, Tomorrow.

Mr. Pants needs to be on the Food Network so I can retire and just blog all day.  There are so many good things! You’ve all heard by now that the Crosbot is practicing with the Pens.  He’s not cleared for contact, but aren’t you just glad to see this face?! Here’s the post-practice interview […]

We said COME IN!

The rest of the Pens also participated in season ticket delivery – but none appear to have eaten a cookie.  If only they’d known Crosby said it was okay! Check out Jordan’s goober wave as he approaches the first house. [link] And the tween girls who get their picture with him.  Their lives just peaked. Flower […]

Birthday Boy: Jordan Staal

It’s JStaal’s birthday!  Jordan turns 17 today (okay 23).  He got a birthday post last season, but we never get tired of this guy.  And he knows it. Last season, Jordan has some injury issues.  He might be as clumsy as me and Chuck, but we’re not 6’4″ and don’t have quite so far to […]

Staal Wedding Weekend

We hacked the Bauer Hockey Facebook page today and posted nothing but pictures of the Staals.  Oh wait, that wasn’t us?  Someone else did this?  BRAVO.  And woah. You can see all the photos here.  But you can’t handle it. (Oh wait, that’s us.) Ginger Staal got married over the weekend, hence the festivities.  The Staal […]

Did You Know?

Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin are UFA’s  in 13/14 and 14/15 respectively? I was shocked by this – seeing that the golden goose and face of the NHL would be free to wander and check out other goods sooner rather than later. Ovi is locked and fully loaded with the Washington Capitals for 13 years […]

Off-Season Projects

#1: Build the new WUYS home office Left to right: Geno, Sid, JStaaaaal, Ovi, Fidget.  We know what you’re thinking.  And we know Mikey loves Diet Coke.

Penguins, Take a Bow

I woke up this morning to find that yesterday did indeed happen.  The worst 24 hours of my sports life have left me pretty devastated, but my coworker and fellow hockey fan Gator left this on my desk: Fortified on sugar and sympathy, I feel strong enough to write something. It’s been quite a year […]

We're Coming for You

It’s confirmed that Sidney Crosby will not ride the white zamboni onto the ice tonight for Game 7.  I needed to see this in writing before I gave up the hope.  That said, the Penguins are going to rock.  I am getting really excited to speed home from yet another work event in time for […]

Taking it to the Limit

Last night watching the Pens game, I was all… Listen, Stamkos.  I wanted you to have some luck.  Not spend the whole 3rd period with your helmet off trying to convince us it’s okay if we have to see you for another round.  We are impervious to your blond-ness.  You didn’t even do anything last […]

If We Ruled the World

I choose to ignore today’s Penguins game, which they lost 8-2.  Instead, let’s talk about this.  If you ofter follow the Pens Report on the team website, you’ve been enjoying the hilarity of Sam Kasan for ages.  My favorite thing about him is usually the “inspirational” YouTube music videos in his daily entries.  But this […]

Double Oh Baby.

PENS WIN!  So they had a two goal lead, let it get away and had to slog into double OT to take a 3-1 lead in the series.  A win is a win is a win and last night… James Neal, you stud!  Way to make up for a lack of production in a big way. […]

Growing Up In Thunder Bay.

Earlier, one of our readers suggested a reality show of the Staals growing up in Thunder Bay and I found some toddler video of them as youngsters! You can totally see Jordan in the middle taking control and slapping Eric and Marc around. But they hold their own for a bit and Marc totally comes […]

I Need A Distraction.

Rarely can I find photos of TBG with his shirt off but I hit PAY DIRT today. Depressed about Ovi’s situation and not wanting an outburst from Pants if I post another shirtless picture of him, I went looking of some of my other honeys. and yes, I will get to Kris Letang because what is a day […]

I'm feeling Staalsy today.

Can I get a moment of appreciation for Jordan Staal?  I think we need one.  He has really stepped up his game in the absence of 98% of the Penguins squad and well, he’s Gronk. Bad luck (lacerated foot, infection, broken hand) kept Jordan out until the Winter Classic.  He managed to steal plenty of […]