What's Up, Ya Sieve

The Crosbot is back.  That’s right, the hottest team in the League is getting back the best player in the League just in time to play the top team in their division.  In mid-March.  I would think we’re in a Disney sports movie if I didn’t have to work on all the Disney movies for my real-life job.

Crosby will play on a line with Matt Cooke and Tyler Kennedy.  Oh a world in which Sidney Crosby is your second-line center.

No word yet if Kris Letang is definitely back in the Penguins lineup for tonight’s game vs. New York, but I put him in the picture for good luck.  They’ll announce Tanger’s status after the morning skate.

I have a fancy work event today, so no 87 jersey for me until game time.  I’m considering a black sharpie 87 on my forehead the inside of my wrist – let’s see if Gator will do the honors.

And because I’m not a complete crabapple:

Pants’ new license Plate – AKA – the Shaggin’ Wagon!

BANG BANG LETANG – let’s hope he get’s better soon because he’s getting Mike Green-syndrome.

[...]

Kris Letang took a hit to the head last night and left the Pens game in the first with an “upper body injury.”

Immediately, commentators began fighting.  Some say Letang put himself in a vulnerable position.  Others are calling for Eric Nystrom’s suspension.  EJ Hradek of NHL Network says:

ESPN’s (former Foxy Friday) John Buccigross disagrees:

By far the best was Milbury and Jeremy Roenick about to take off their earrings and start slapping each other.  (Props to Milbury – WHAT?!?!? I know. – for recommending Bylsma tell Pierre to “take off, eh?” for being a tool.)  See the video at Deadspin.com [link].

Disco Dan says Kris is “day-to-day” at this point.  After the non-committal injury descriptions in hockey, I think DTD is my favorite un-phrase.

As you know (because you counted the days till he was back), Letang missed nearly two months this season after suffering a concussion on November 26.  The hit earned Montreal’s Max Paccioretty a 3-game ban, even though the Pens cleared Letang and he returned to play.  Almost a week of continuing symptoms later, Kris was finally diagnosed with a concussion.

Gratuitous hair photo.

Since returning to the ice, Kris has been the same BAMF that earned him the most write-in votes of any NHL’er for the 2011 All-Star Game and a spot on that starting lineup.  He has 9G/22A on the year, and is credited with raising the game of his d-partner Paul Martin (who is not James Neal’s girlfriend).

Gratuitous perfection photo.

The NHL has not announced if Nystrom will have a hearing.  So what’s your verdict?  Shanabanned or no?  Maybe the NHL could introduce a new system of punishment here – using the fans.  If hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, you should see how she reacts when you take away her Letang.

In honor of making it halfway through this week, here are five things that I love about today.

1. James Neal’s career-high 28th goal, and there are still 28 games left to play.  (Bonus: Awkwardly close-up post-game interview video.)

2. Steven Stamkos has scored against every NHL team [video].  And he got a League-leading 35th goal on his birthday, even if the Bolts lost.

3. Letang jumped PK Subban in defense of Geno during last night’s extra-frames shootout loss.  The video’s bad, but skip to the 1:00 mark for the tackle.

4. The Caps are #1 in the Southeast Division.  Gator and I had an excellent time watching the beat Florida 4-0.

5. I’d love it if the Blackhawks could win a road game, especially since they’re on a 9-game trip.  Since that hasn’t happened, any suggestions for something you love about today?

You want it, you got it.  Tanger winking at Flower during the love-fest in Toronto.

Thanks to xosweetgirl18ox.tumblr.com who created this and Barb (@stoopid4letang) who’s on our Twitter feed and shared!  Now if someone comes across the windmill high-five….

Sid and the Pens held a press conference yesterday to prove that he still looks this good in a suit.  Also to clarify the neck injury he was diagnosed with by an LA doctor – it’s a “soft tissue” injury, not broken vertebrae.  He was treated in LA with injections to relieve the swelling and further injections should not be necessary. [link]  They expect him to heal fully.

I had something similar – a ruptured disk in my lower spine that required MRI and cortisone injections.  First off, they must have either an open or extra large MRI because there’s no way they’re fitting Crosby’s backside into the MRI they used for me.  They say “don’t open your eyes,” so of course I opened my eyes.  And spent the next 45 min barely warding off a panic attack.

We're going to need a bigger boat.

When they do the injections, they also tell you “don’t look at the needle.”  So naturally I did.  Holy schnikies, I hope they use a smaller one on neck injuries because this thing could have gone right through me into the table.  But in my case, they worked.  One round of shots = enormous improvement.  Here’s hoping it goes the same for Sid.

The Pens won a wild game last night vs. Toronto that involved Neal’s pass hitting Malkin in the arm and going in with 7 seconds left to tie.  Then Geno scored the only goal in the shootout.  Unstoppable!  Flower made some incredible saves and had a total love-fest with Letang.  I think we were interrupting their date night.  Tanger dove into the net behind Fleury to back him up, then winked at him from the bench.  It was better than the Kiss Cam!  At the end they did a totally 10th grade, Fresh Prince-style windmill high five.  I’m still hoping for a .gif of it to show you all.

Tonight, we’ll find out who’ll be the Phil Kessel of the 2012 All Star game.  (Perhaps it’ll be Phil Kessel.  That would be amazing.)

At 8pm tonight, fifty of the best hockey players in the world (38 NHL All-Stars and 12 top rookies) will be up for selection in the Player Fantasy Draft.  All-stars and rookies will be divided into two teams  - Team Alfredsson (aka Team Pants), led by captain Daniel Alfredsson and assistant captain Henrik Lundqvist, and Team Chara (aka Team Chuck), led by captain Zdeno “Z-Big” Chara and assistant captain Joffrey Lupul.

Quick refresher on how the Fantasy Draft works…

• A coin toss will decide first pick, with Alfredsson and Chara, joined by their assistant captains, alternately drafting the All-Stars through 19 rounds
• Each team will consist of three goaltenders, six defensemen and 12 forwards
• Each team’s three goalies must be picked by the end of Round 10
• Each team’s six defensemen must be picked by the conclusion of Round 15
• The 12 Rookies will be divided by the National Hockey League into two groups of six.  At the completion of the 15th round of the draft, one NHL Rookie will be selected to choose which All-Star team his group will join for the skills competition
• As a reward (consolation?), the final player selected in the draft will have $20,000 donated to the grassroots hockey program of his choice

So who’s up for grabs?

After he was selected as a captain, Chara did mention that he was going to take this draft very seriously and do as much research as possible, so it will be interesting to see what his strategy will be.  Think he hit up Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli for some pointers?

Will he take his teammate & Vezina winning goaltender Tim Thomas with the first pick?  Or will the events of this week and the recent revelation that Thomas does not have many friends amoungst his teammates sway Chara’s decision?

Now I’m no prognosticator, but I can tell you what you will see tonight.

• Ridiculous amounts of awkwardness.
• The Sedins  on different teams.
• Kris Letang’s hair looking awesome.
• James Neal’s hair looking like a porcupine.
• Scott Hartnell’s hair looking like a hot mess cavewoman hooker.
• Tight bums.
• Patrick Kane calling Toews to tell him he misses him.
• Awkward interview with last two players remaining.

One thing you won’t see…

And I for one, am gonna miss this.

Derp.

Thanks to Puck Daddy for this awesome video link … 2012 inspiration for why we love hockey!

And since I missed wishing everyone Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays – I’ll let my man Kris Letang who’s been MIA lately do it for me and a couple of other dudes in santa hats. Enjoy!

Oy! so many penguins ....

shirtless as usual

Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys Injury Island.  At this point it would be easier to list NHL players who are not hurt, but we don’t want to jinx anyone.  There are still two-thirds of the season left to play.

Sidney Crosby is out again with concussion-like symptoms.  He passed the ImPACT test but says he doesn’t feel 100%.  In this case, we appreciate the caution and honesty.  And the hilarious idea that he could be less than perfect.  He’ll be keeping also concussed Kris Letang company in the press box.

Zdeno Chara sprained his knee Saturday in an injury that apparently looked worse than it was.  Coach Julien says he’s day-to-day, though doubtful for tonight vs. Los Angeles. [link]

Mike Green is seeing a specialist for his injured groin.  I could make so many jokes if I weren’t crying.  Nicky used all the tissues and I’m wiping tears on my sleeve now.  Mike is skating and his spirits are high (a Twitter-verified fact), but he has played in only 8 games this season.  The Washington Express had a big, sad story on him today [link, page 9].

Claude Giroux, possibly the only ginger human I don’t like, is out indefinitely with a concussion.  He was injured by friendly fire on Saturday when Wayne Simmonds’ knee caught his head as Simmonds attempted to jump over Giroux’s fallen body.  [link]

The Islanders activated Evgeni Nabakov from injured reserve yesterday; apparently his groin injury is healed.  Good thing because Rick DiPietro (go BU) is out with the same problem. [link - and why did the Sacramento Bee pick up this story?]

Intern Jeff Skinner owes a few dollars to the Liar Jar, we think.  It was reported Friday that Jeff had “flu-like symptoms,” while everyone thought he might be concussed from a hit he took vs. EDM on Wednesday.  Coach Muller says they’re wrong, but Skinns is questionable for tonight vs. Toronto. [link]

Don't try to distract us! We are really worried!

Sabres Mike Weber, Paul Gaustad and Patrick Kaleta are returning to the lineup, which still leaves them with approximately 212 injured players. [link]

Foxy Friday Mike Richards gave his first interview since sustaining a head injury (unofficial concussion) on December 1. [link]  Even after the hit he can’t stop talking trash and getting in people’s faces.

Brian Gionta (BC sucks) has missed one game with a lower body injury, and is expected to miss tonight.  The Habs currently have 8 (hundred) players out of the lineup. [link]

The Cancuks will get Dan Hamhuis and Cody Hodgson back tonight, leaving them with 10 other injured players.

AND…

Last but not least...

Calgary’s Alex Tanguay had the flu. He’s better.  That’s my lobster!

Let's get this party started

but only one named Letang

The Catzipals new attitude? Let's hope so

even i think he looks better this way

the most epic bromance - EVER

Kunitz-Crosby-Dupuis
Sullivan-Malkin-Neal
Cooke-Staal-Kennedy
Asham-Park-Adams
(Vitale, MacIntyre)

CAPITALS

Ovechkin-Backstrom-Brouwer
Eakin-Johansson-Semin
Chimera-Laich-Ward
Hendricks-Halpern-Knuble-Perreault

On a side note, the Anaheim Ducks scooped BB as their coach so I wish him the best of luck and since every knows that I also have a crush on that ‘other’ #8 Teemu, GO DUCKS! DD is #8, Teemu is #8 and Ovi is #8 and Letang is #58 …. go crazy 8′s!