What's Up, Ya Sieve

Check out these gorgeous pictures from Carmen Mandato Photography.

Large, hi-res versions are on the website along with a few shots of other teams. People have asked if she’ll have prints available for sale.  She’s on Facebook too.

God, don’t you just love hockey?  And wish you had longer eyelashes?  And feel relieved that no one will ever photograph you this close up?

Maybe it’s just me.

I’ve seen this one, but never with a credit.  She should definitely get credit.

I wish I had photography skills.  At this range, I’d have trouble keeping a hold on the camera.

Thanks to Heather Weikel for letting us know about these!  Thanks to Carmen Mandato for taking such amazing photos.  (I added a copyright to all of them – please be responsible with other people’s work!)

Sweetie, your prom date is here.

You’re dad’s thinking, “Whew.  My daughter’s safe with this dork.”

Sorry to be late – the Penguins annual Skates & Plates benefit was a few days ago.  You know, the one where they get dressed up and try not to drop food on themselves, people, the floor give us something to blog about.

While I’m generally opposed to jackets with tails (on anyone but Mr. Peanut)…

(and Disney princes)

I can’t resist an event in which the Penguins make Matt Niskanen look like the Mayor of the Munchkin City.

Is ‘corsage pinner’ a job?  Related experience: I can make a poof in the front of my hair with one bobby pin.  Here’s my resume.

Kris: Are you nervous?

Sid: I hope they spaced the tables out far enough for me to fit through.

Kris: Well you look good.

Sid: Thanks.

Kris…

Sid: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (tugs at collar).

Of course it was all captured on video, again by the Duper Cam and endlessly on Tumblr.  Revel in the awkward.

Next year I think Skates & Plates should have lanes of ice between the tables, so the players can deliver your food like a 1950′s diner – on skates.  They could add paper hats and a choreographed dance routine.  So basically the dinner would be at Johnny Rockets and sound like Grease.  They could pull it off.

(Photos from Penguins Instagram)

When the Penguins aren’t working for tips, they sometimes play hockey.  The first period last night vs. Philly was not one of those times…

Unless you think this is hockey:

Yes, you.  You jerk.

No I won’t take it back. I’m really mad at you.

 I do support this, of course.  Peeking between my hands yelling, “No no no no!” and then “KILL HIM! ROAR!!!”

Good thing I kept an eye on the out-of-town scoreboard.  People at the Caps game gave me stare down for freaking out as these three goals popped up.

My phone could hardly refresh fast enough.  Wore the lady behind me right out.

And when I saw that Neal scored in a somewhat redeeming fashion?  I attacked @raedanda, in her puple pants.  Duck and cover.

I haven’t even watched the game yet, but this is my joy.

Sorry, Sad Ginger.  (NO I’M NOT.)

While I’m at it, CHRIS KUNITZ!  Having a year!  2G/1A last night, he now has 31 points and is behind only Crosby and Stamkos for the NHL lead.  [CBS Sports]  He even tried to save Disco Dan from a flying puck Monday night.

The Pens also got a goal and an assist from Dupuis.  If Sid’s linemates scored 3 times, you know he had 3 assists last night.  From the Pittsburgh Tribune:

Since the beginning of February, Crosby has produced 29 points in 16 games. He has at least one point in 13 of those games. Crosby has recorded seven three-point nights during that span.

Crosby’s career vs. Philly?  13 goals and 20 assists in 21 games.

Yeah, that’s right.

Marc-Andre Fleury was handsomely married to his longtime girlfriend Veronique on Saturday.  We bring you highlights from the Red Carpet Show, with your host Sidney Crosby.

Sid: This is Captain Tiny Pockets, reporting live from… wait, what is that?  Neal, Tanger, are you seeing what I see?

James: Uhhhhhhhuh.

Kris: Busy checking out #18 there, in his plaid jacket.

Sid: Oh my, ladies and gentleman, we’re not really sure what we’re seeing here, but it appears to be approaching.

James: Look away, it won’t notice us.

Kris: I’m staying over here, brown elf shoes are not good for running away.

Sid: It’s come much closer now and we’re able to make out that it’s, well… is that what we think it is?

James: If I can’t see it, it can’t see me.

Sid: Yes, yes it is.  We have confirmed it is Max Talbot, arriving for the B Movie Horror Convention at the Baltimore Airport Holiday Inn.

Max: Hands in pockets, this is how you do it.

Sid: No, we’re receiving reports he is actually here for the wedding.  He’s getting closer.  Neal, what plan of action do you suggest?

James (backing away): Allow it.  I look much more handsome and gigantic now.

Sid: Since he’s wedding crashing, let’s get an exclusive interview with Max.  Talbot, WTF are you wearing?

Max: This is my wedding suit.  If I take off the bow tie, drunk bridesmaids think I’m the priest and start confessing all kinds of stuff.

Sid: They won’t let you in the church dressed like the Devil.  Have you gone down to Georgia?  Brought a fiddle made of gold?

Max: You’re wrong, Romeo.  Girls love dastardly-chic.  They’re all going to get on this drunk bus, and you’ll have to walk.

Sid: You are not invited to my wedding, Max.

James: Empty threat.

Sid: Shut up. Here are Flower and his bride!

All of us: Sigh.

Jordan: Flower! Hey Flower! Turn off your cell phone!

Vero (looks at Brent Johnson): I don’t think that’s necessary.

Heather Staal: Jordan, you said I would be the only one wearing Canes red. Damn it, Max!

Sid: Ladies, please. We have a live satellite transmission from the Russian forest.

Geno: Здравствуйте!  Sorry I could not be there, my date was not allowed on plane in traditional Russian wedding garb.

Sid: Is that a Vespa on your shirt? Oh, nevermind.  Here come the bride and groom again.

All of us: Gorgeous.  Both of you.  Adorable French babies who can spin like ballerinas, now please.

Sid: That’s it for our live broadcast, thanks for joining us.  See you next time with… James?  James?  NEAL!  (Drunk bus beeps as it passes, Max at the wheel and James waving from the window.)  Oh that’s it.  I’m trading Paul Martin, I don’t care how many omelets $5 million makes!

(All photos credit to 25stanley.com)

You want it, you got it.  Tanger winking at Flower during the love-fest in Toronto.

Thanks to xosweetgirl18ox.tumblr.com who created this and Barb (@stoopid4letang) who’s on our Twitter feed and shared!  Now if someone comes across the windmill high-five….

Sid and the Pens held a press conference yesterday to prove that he still looks this good in a suit.  Also to clarify the neck injury he was diagnosed with by an LA doctor – it’s a “soft tissue” injury, not broken vertebrae.  He was treated in LA with injections to relieve the swelling and further injections should not be necessary. [link]  They expect him to heal fully.

I had something similar – a ruptured disk in my lower spine that required MRI and cortisone injections.  First off, they must have either an open or extra large MRI because there’s no way they’re fitting Crosby’s backside into the MRI they used for me.  They say “don’t open your eyes,” so of course I opened my eyes.  And spent the next 45 min barely warding off a panic attack.

We're going to need a bigger boat.

When they do the injections, they also tell you “don’t look at the needle.”  So naturally I did.  Holy schnikies, I hope they use a smaller one on neck injuries because this thing could have gone right through me into the table.  But in my case, they worked.  One round of shots = enormous improvement.  Here’s hoping it goes the same for Sid.

The Pens won a wild game last night vs. Toronto that involved Neal’s pass hitting Malkin in the arm and going in with 7 seconds left to tie.  Then Geno scored the only goal in the shootout.  Unstoppable!  Flower made some incredible saves and had a total love-fest with Letang.  I think we were interrupting their date night.  Tanger dove into the net behind Fleury to back him up, then winked at him from the bench.  It was better than the Kiss Cam!  At the end they did a totally 10th grade, Fresh Prince-style windmill high five.  I’m still hoping for a .gif of it to show you all.

I missed 24/7 last night because I fell asleep re-watching Fright Night with Colin Farrell.  I mean he’s in the movie, he wasn’t with me.  And the movie’s great.  But I will have to catch up on the Rangers/Flyers this weekend, and from the sound of your Tweets there is plenty worth watching!

Another thing I’ve missed up until now is the NHL All-Star Game voting.

I restricted my choices to people currently playing.  Obviously I believe Crosby should be in – he was more of an all-star in his few games this year than most people are in a whole season.  But if he’s well, he’ll get in.  (See the leaderboard here.)   I deliberately sent my votes where they can count.

1) Nicklas Backstrom – If Ovi gets in and Nicky doesn’t, someone will receive a strongly worded letter written in cut-out magazine letters.

2) Jonathan Toews – scored his 300th career point last night, overall superstar and BAMF.  You don’t see a lake named after anyone else.

3) James Neal – needs no explanation. HONK!

4) Duncan Keith – Did you see him rob Matt Cullen on a shorthanded breakaway last night?  Norris Trophy, what?

5) Shea Weber – 100+ MPH shot, massive blocking body, all-star playoff beard, friends with Dierks Bentley.  Scored from the cheap seats (and we mean in the net!).  Haven’t seen it?  Puck Daddy has it, they always do [link].

6) Marc-Andre Fleury – Forever holding it down in the back, never knowing who might be available to stand in front of him every night.  And for the off chance he’ll spin like a ballerina or sass Carey Price.

You can vote up to 30 times at vote.nhl.com.  I’ll let you guys win the trip to Ottawa, because I’ll be on my honeymoon until that Saturday. I’m missing the draft and  skills competitions in real-time, so Chuck will have to man the Twitter and express all of my squee-tastic opinions.

I Googled this photo, which led me to another WUYS post. Of course.

Hurkey durkey, Turkey!  We know you’re all thankful for hockey, and this week’s Foxy Friday is just a reminder of all the things in the world there are to celebrate.

Dawn & Chuck are out shopping and Intern Jeff Skinner is making sweet potatoes with marshmallows (you should see his apron), so I’m going to kick things off with my 5 (or so) favorite hockey players:

1. Sidney Crosby - Come on back, buddy.  Bring your mustache, we don’t care.  We’re thankful for Sid’s career 215 goals/572 points, half a Rocket Richard trophy and one giant, shiny Stanley Cup.  He also gets my undying devotion and willingness to endure being booed in every arena that’s not Pittsburgh.  A year without him on the ice is far too long.

Yes, I ate a cookie.

2. Mike Green - If you have to ask why, you must be new around here.  Please refer to posts about hedgehogs, scooters, scarves and tattoos.  My condition has not been helped by a move to the DC-area.  Fidget has a career 82 goals/250 points, 2 Norris Trophy nominations, 2 national Geico commercials and a day of the week dedicated just to him.  It’s the smile.

3. Jonathan Toews – Captain Derpface is the shit.  Get on board, people.  Tazer not only plays the best straight-man to Kaner’s antics, but he’s been the heart and soul of his team since he was 21.  His goal with about 1:24 left in the playoff game 7 vs. Vancoucer last season to take the Hawks to overtime and possibly advance toward a Cup repeat was one of my all-time favorite NHL goals.  He just willed it into the net.  I cried.  Yes, I’m crazy.  Thanks for 124 goals/284 points, a Stanley Cup and my vote for MVP last season.  We award you squats, feel free to do them any time.

4. Steven Stamkos – Hockey paradise, they call Tampa Bay.  We might agree.  Stammer has 130 goals/251 points in just 3.25 seasons – you’d smile all the time too.  For all the hype, Stamkos was a slower rookie starter than Toews, Kane or Crosby, which maybe makes me love him more.  He struggled.  The Lightning struggled.  And then last season they steamrolled the Pens & Caps, only to lose a heartbreaker game 7 to the Bruins.  Make that a face-breaker.  For this (and for Gator), Stamkos forever.

5. Wild Card – This place has belonged to a lot of deserving players.  Nicklas Backstrom for keeping his head down and working so hard while everyone around him preens for the camera.  James Neal for fighting through overly high expectations and finally busting out.  Jordan Staal for playing with that severed foot tendon, for being so desperate to play on 24/7.  Fleury for standing in that net every night even when he sucked.  St. Louis for seeming 10 feet tall.

Honorable Mention . Jeff Skinner – For all his hard work around here.

Okay, let’s hear it.  Who are you Top 5 and why?  Try not to write a novel.  Or cry.  I totally teared up over Toews & Stamkos – fangirl moment.

All other NHL teams have officially been put on notice.

We wish more teams would highlight their talent like this.

And by highlight, we mean take insanely attractive glamour shots of their players and create calendars which we can buy and hang in our offices and sigh dreamily over as we format excel spreadsheets, take conferences calls about monkeys, and troll tumblr for more photos.

Ladies, you know what time it is. It's sexy time.

Do not fear. I shall return.

Me too. I'm right behind him.

Hai. You're pretty. Let's make out.

Smartest guy on the team. Literally. I went to Harvard.

Czech him out, ladies.

I knew I should have combed my hair. Oh well.

Only thing missing is photo of James Neal.  If there was, you can be sure Pants would be blowing that photo up and making a Nealmobile shrine, serial killer style in some abandoned Annapolis warehouse.

Thanks to our WUYS friend Amber (@aemorgan) for the heads up.  She knows what we like.  

He turned them down! But they asked! I know. What a shame. But he did an awesome interview on “After Hours” when they were on HNIC. Kevin Weeks was all hot and bothered.

Here’s the whole interview. Enjoy! He is just so awesome. I JUST LOVE HIM. And God Bless the CBC – they aired the part of the interview where he swears after winning the cup.

I would give you markers but he is so funny that you just need to watch the whole thing. They even ask him about the Sweet Petite comparison we made when 24/7 aired!

Sam Kasan’s reports from Penguins practices are daily gold and you should never miss them.  But today, it’s truly special [link].

In honor of Crosby being cleared for contact, he dedicates Weezer’s cover of Britney’s “(Hit Me) Baby… One More Time.”  (Warning: it sounds a lot like the time I sang it, in costume, at a BU Halloween Party).  And the James Neal caption below couldn’t have been better if we’d written it ourselves.

Word on the street is that Flower recently got engaged.  Can we get an “awwwwwww?”  Can he have all Pens groomsmen and swear at them as they approach the receiving line, like in the 24/7 shootout?

Can I carry the rings? No. Flowers. No. Can I have the bridesmaids? Maybe.