These are your Captains speaking

On today’s episode of Extreme Diplomacy with Sidney Crosby, Strombo sits down with Sid: Something about this video keeps breaking the link, try this if you can’t see it.  To discuss whatever they are talking about while this plays in my head: If there’s a pseudo-boyband version of a song, I prefer it. Sid does get all […]

Boom. Clap.

This.  This happened and someone took a photo and the Canadian economy skyrocketed because who wouldn’t pay money to see this? We weren’t in the right place at the right time (never are!), but that doesn’t stop us from guessing that John and Sid were talking about in this hallway: – Belts – “Are your trousers slim cut? ” […]

Surgery for Sid

Last night around midnight, just before I turned into a pumpkin, Twitter was all ablaze with the news that Crosby will have arthroscopic surgery on his right wrist this summer.  While he claimed to be in perfect health throughout his much-maligned playoff performance, it appears that was somewhat untrue. Well, duh.  No one is 100% […]

This Is The End

Allow me to pour my heart into a post in the very moment the Penguins have lost a Game 7. For starters, I hate the Rangers with a passion that you can’t understand unless you’re in your 24th year of hating a team with a fire of a thousand suns.  1990 was the year I […]

Be Cool

Penguins love me back, lead series vs. Rangers 3-1 It was another good night at Camp Pants, but let’s not get too excited yet.  I mean, in-game it’s fine to look like this picture I found by searching “Gibbons gif:” It’s exactly what Penguins’ fans looked like after the gif I really wanted: He meant to do […]

Night Moves

I had a good night.  Did you guys have a good night? Fleury throws another shutout, Pens lead Rangers 2-1 MAF had his second shutout in as many days, standing on his head at times to keep the NYR off the board in Game 3.  Not bad for a goalie who has playoff confidence problems, right? […]

Hard Out Here

Well, that was a night. Penguins take years off my life, defeat Blue Jackets in series: 4-2 What are we supposed to do?  NOT hope for leads because they get snatched away? NEVER want a power play for fear of giving up a shorty?  I don’t know which end is up except the Penguins won […]

Weekend Update

I didn’t get to watch much hockey after Friday night, but the playoffs wait for no DVR.  In case anyone else (mostly) missed the weekend festivities… The networks have all kinds of on-hiatus hockey players pitching in as commentators during these playoffs.  Let us make the offer official: Alex Pietrangelo, you and your currently unemployed […]

Of Course It Did

Well… Last night I was very PANIC! AT THE DISCO.  I feel a little better this morning , so allow me to re-edit my thoughts. Blue Jackets: 4; Penguins: 3 [Series tied 2-2] Listen, Fleury has been the Penguins’ best player all series.  Sometimes he is their only player actually playing.  So much has been […]

Foxy Friday: Matt Niskanen

This took forever today because I was having too much fun.  It’s time!  Time for turtles and Minnesota accents and the true, though somewhat unsung, love of Penguins fans everywhere.  Unless you are me, Lindsay or Alison, then there is a lot of singing. Foxy Friday: Matt Niskanen Most of you met Nisky that time […]

Day One

There are two ways to spend any night during the NHL Playoffs: Enjoy a composed evening of important hockey that matters on a theoretical level, but not to your team. Like me, last night: One goal games all around, and no one made it look easy.  Here we go, Round One: Day One already gearing […]

Hope on the Rocks

The playoffs give me angst.  For the duration of the Penguins’ chances I will feel sick to my stomach nearly all the time.  A portion of that is desire to win, and a large chunk has been devoted over the last few years to hoping this isn’t the moment James Neal does something stupid. I’m […]

The Pittsburgh Ten

In Disney World commercials, a kid walks into the theme park where Mickey, Donald and all the characters are lined up waiting to greet her. You know, the kind of magical thing that never happens when you actually go there.  Unless you went with us this weekend to Pittsburgh. Lindsay, Alison, Emma and I arrived from […]

Think, think, think.

Today, I’m calling on all of you to focus. Does this help? No? How about… That ought to do it.  Now, bring the power of your mind to bear on the universe and let’s see if we can’t get James Neal and Chris Kunitz back in the Pittsburgh lineup tonight. For the record, I don’t […]

Hey, Big Spender.

If we had to brainstorm events we’d pay good money for, Sidney Crosby delivering dessert and wine would be up there on the list. The Penguins’ annual Skates & Plates event was held last night, where the players wait tables, raise funds for charity and try not to spill food on people.  (I’d take care […]

Start Stressing

The Olympics really disrupted my sense of hockey-time, and I suddenly find important things are right around the corner: The Penguins are in DC on Monday. The trade deadline is tomorrow at 3 PM Eastern. There are less than six weeks left in the regular season. Luckily I’m good at To Do Lists.  They calm […]

Put Me In, Coach

If I were the Penguins coach (or a mom, high school principal, etc.), I imagine there would be a lot of exchanges like this one from the new episode of In the Room [video]: James Neal being a shit. Me not stopping till Neal owned up to his problem out loud. Kunitz’s face. Followed immediately […]

Good Sports

We know it’s not possible to be great at everything, and there are certainly times when you don’t want to show off.  Like Crosby rolling a gutter ball at the annual Pens & Pins charity event – that’s socially appropriate struggling.  He’s being a good sport. Then watch James Neal have a go at the […]

Lethal Weapon

(Note: Lethan Weapon is one of the best bromance movies of all time. Bust out the VHS and watch it.) If you can’t hold a puppy or a baby, the next best prop for maximum cuteness is Evgeni Malkin.  I swear, if I baked a cake and that cake took a shelter dog for a walk […]

A Holiday Essential

Someone in the Penguins PR department is developing our sense of humor.  While the San Jose Sharks still win for the best ever fake Christmas CD [video], followed by the Blackhawks and Toews’ HOF derp-face [video], this year’s holiday effort by the Penguins is pretty hilarious. Video: Pittsburgh Penguins 2013 Holiday Card Made during Movember, […]