Jackpot! (I had to.)

The Penguins traded their annual Skates & Plates waiter gear for other ill-fitting suits this year and hosted Aces & Ice Casino Night last night. It looked like the World’s Most Awkward Wedding Party. But two drinks in, the bridesmaids are yelling, “DIBS!” and making shanks out of bobby pins. The dads, like Alison’s dad there on […]

Two of Hearts

My name is Pants, and I support two hockey teams. A while back, @eyetotelescope suggested we address the idea of liking more than one team. Many of you are in the same boat (er, on the same door) at this treacherous time of year, when four-point games rain down, winning streaks become glorious victory marches and slumps […]

Never Grow Up

If you keep losing to the Capitals and making me look like a chump in front of important people (like my boss, @raedanda, Mike Green, etc.), the second best way to my heart is through tiny skates and giggling.   Yeah, I’m a sucker.  Check out video of Crosby & friends surprising the Little Penguins […]

Pens & Pins

A snappy headline escapes me today, but the annual Pens & Pins charity event was held last night, and look who was looking good.   PensTV has a video feature from the event. Everyone is always having so much fun, from the players to the kids. And who wouldn’t? Bowling makes awkward lumps of us all […]

Not a Total Loss

For last night’s Penguins @ Capitals game, I was lucky enough to get a luxury suite ticket from my friend Jess.  We also scored passes to the Coach’s Club, which is a magical land at ice level with a ‘make your own nachos’ bar, free drinks and a dessert table.  Sounds good, right? It’s also situated […]

Over and Over

Why do I watch the Penguins play the Flyers? It’s not because the Penguins ever win. It’s more like seeing a disaster unfold and being unable to look away – if you’ve ever been around when a flaming asteroid obliterated a theme park. Now, I could watch because I hate the Flyers. They always do […]

Foxy Friday: Video Power Hour

I had a whole intro written, but I got the Hawks video at the end of this post and it’s wiped my entire brain clean.  Please read all the way to the bottom.  Nothing I’ve ever promised you could be so worth it. The title of Foxy Friday has occasionally been awarded to a collection […]

8(7+1) Days of Christmas

@raedanda sends me the best work emails! Today it was this KDKA-TV sneak preview of the WHIRL Magazine January cover shoot with everybody’s boyfriends: That’s right – pre-mumps Crosby and Geno, part-time models.  You know I live for shots of Sid putting on his jersey (3:15 mark, someone gif that please). Put this January issue […]

10 Days of… oh well.

I was going to do a “Happy Almost Holidays!” post this morning, but there isn’t really anything good to report.  Instead I’ll trye to motivate myself and see if I can do a post a day for 10 days, so we approach 2015 with momentum. Don’t hold your breath. Dallas Eakins got fired Most bosses should be […]

PUPPIES. Really.

Happy December, everyone! As we do annually at this time (see: 2013), we enlisted the help of Alison’s mom to take pictures of the Pens & Paws Calendar. How does it always arrive first? Video from the calendar shoot is here. I am always very susceptible to puppy-related advertising, as evidenced by my love for the […]

Foxy Friday: Robert Bortuzzo

I’ve had late-night work events followed by early mornings all week, haven’t even been home in three days and I started this post at 8 AM. Still nothing – nothing! – shall keep me from a Foxy Friday that is 10 months, two dinners and one KISS costume in the making. Foxy Friday: Robert Bortuzzo You may […]

These are your Captains speaking

On today’s episode of Extreme Diplomacy with Sidney Crosby, Strombo sits down with Sid: Something about this video keeps breaking the link, try this if you can’t see it.  To discuss whatever they are talking about while this plays in my head: If there’s a pseudo-boyband version of a song, I prefer it. Sid does get all […]

Boom. Clap.

This.  This happened and someone took a photo and the Canadian economy skyrocketed because who wouldn’t pay money to see this? We weren’t in the right place at the right time (never are!), but that doesn’t stop us from guessing that John and Sid were talking about in this hallway: – Belts – “Are your trousers slim cut? ” […]

Surgery for Sid

Last night around midnight, just before I turned into a pumpkin, Twitter was all ablaze with the news that Crosby will have arthroscopic surgery on his right wrist this summer.  While he claimed to be in perfect health throughout his much-maligned playoff performance, it appears that was somewhat untrue. Well, duh.  No one is 100% […]

This Is The End

Allow me to pour my heart into a post in the very moment the Penguins have lost a Game 7. For starters, I hate the Rangers with a passion that you can’t understand unless you’re in your 24th year of hating a team with a fire of a thousand suns.  1990 was the year I […]

Be Cool

Penguins love me back, lead series vs. Rangers 3-1 It was another good night at Camp Pants, but let’s not get too excited yet.  I mean, in-game it’s fine to look like this picture I found by searching “Gibbons gif:” It’s exactly what Penguins’ fans looked like after the gif I really wanted: He meant to do […]

Night Moves

I had a good night.  Did you guys have a good night? Fleury throws another shutout, Pens lead Rangers 2-1 MAF had his second shutout in as many days, standing on his head at times to keep the NYR off the board in Game 3.  Not bad for a goalie who has playoff confidence problems, right? […]

Hard Out Here

Well, that was a night. Penguins take years off my life, defeat Blue Jackets in series: 4-2 What are we supposed to do?  NOT hope for leads because they get snatched away? NEVER want a power play for fear of giving up a shorty?  I don’t know which end is up except the Penguins won […]

Weekend Update

I didn’t get to watch much hockey after Friday night, but the playoffs wait for no DVR.  In case anyone else (mostly) missed the weekend festivities… The networks have all kinds of on-hiatus hockey players pitching in as commentators during these playoffs.  Let us make the offer official: Alex Pietrangelo, you and your currently unemployed […]

Of Course It Did

Well… Last night I was very PANIC! AT THE DISCO.  I feel a little better this morning , so allow me to re-edit my thoughts. Blue Jackets: 4; Penguins: 3 [Series tied 2-2] Listen, Fleury has been the Penguins’ best player all series.  Sometimes he is their only player actually playing.  So much has been […]