What's Up, Ya Sieve

Lord.  The Flyers signed Shea Weber to a $110 million, 14-year offer sheet.  I’ve only been awake for four hours and I’m already sick of this.

In non-140 character speak, he has accepted their offer to be paid like this:

The Predators have seven days to match the offer.  If they don’t, they’ll get 4 first-round draft picks from the Flyers.

Holy cow, people.  First off, the Preds went to arbitration last season because they didn’t want to pay Weber $7+ million for 3 years.  Too bad, he was awarded $7.5 million for 2011-12.  This $110/million deal averages to $7.86 million a year.  Weber will be 27 when the season starts and before he turns 33, over 72% of the contract will have been paid out.  Astronomical numbers, but the average and the front-loading sound like pretty good deals.  In 7-10 years from now, $6 million/year will probably be peanuts compared to what the kids are getting paid.  After that $13 million/year bonus disappears in 4 years, Weber becomes even more attractive trade bait.

More attractive than this?

 My head hurts.

Bonuses count against the salary cap.  The Preds have room under their cap for a deal like this.  Here’s the best part: it’s front-loaded to discourage the Predators from signing because… Weber will earn $27 million in the first *calendar* year of this deal.  WTF, how is that possible? [link]  Here’s how:

If they match, the Preds would have him for 14 years.  But does Weber want to stay in NSH?  Arbitration last summer, would have been UFA next summer, and now this.  Is Shea sick of waiting for a deal, or trying to jump ship?

And if the Preds match, they have to keep Weber for one season before trying to trade.  That one season will cost them $27 million.  Unhappy player vs a shit-ton of money?  I’d give anything to know what Weber’s feeling on Nashville really is.

Bigger meets BetterFasterMore.

The really important part of this conversation is: STAY OUT OF THE EASTERN CONFERENCE, SHEA WEBER.

This is my nightmare.  Shea Weber as a Flyer.  Ice crews trained to squeegee my favorite players’ faces/blood/talent off the glass in arenas up and down the eastern seaboard.  Watching every game through my fingers.  Knowing Sid is out there six games against this guy, instead of one.  Or Nicky B.  Anyone.  Oh God.

Sorry, Blackhawks.  Keep your heads up out there.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled day of watching Twitter so see what happens next.  I don’t know if this post even makes sense after so many numbers.

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

After this weekend, the heat intensified over how Brendan Shanahan decides suspensions and disciplinary action. But for us women, there’s no secret. After the Campbell empire of nepotism and favoritism crumbled there was hope for a clean start. But after almost a year in the position it looks like The Plastics are back with 2.0 edition.

Here is Shanahan and Bettman at a press conference discussing the recent Torres suspension:

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1384659

This is what it must be like behind closed doors when they are deciding on disciplinary action. “Well Brendan, you have the physique of a 20 year old Zack Parise shooting down the cold freshly zambonied ice on a winter classic day with a crazed Shea Weber chasing you trying to smash you head into the boards.”

shanahan simply calls it in

ask henrik if this was worth $2,500 bowl full of crazy

My point is, discipline should be like justice, blind, fair and across the board. A hit should be judged on its own. Not if someone is hurt, not if someone is a popular or famous player, but as a stand alone on its own merits – as it were. This is simply not happening. I realize people are human but come on.

And don’t use Matt Cooke is the poster boy for this system – it was the Penguins who sat him down and said it’s your job or you’re out. That was the reason he change, NOT Shanahan or the new system.

There are lots of things that I love about playoff hockey.

And although I’m a little disappointed with all the nasty play and dirty hits and the lack of respect that some players *coughraffitorres* have shown for their fellow players, there is something about this time of year that makes my heart just fill up with joy and excitement.

I love that I acutally have the opportunity to watch teams that I otherwise never get to see.  Like the Nashville Predators, for instance.

For years, I’ve been indifferent to them.  I didn’t hate them, nor did I love them.  They were just there.  Existing in a Western Conference world that I just never visited.

I respect Barry Trotz and his loyalty immensely.  I give props to the organization being patient and slowly building an organization and a team that can compete with the big dogs of the NHL.  I makes me happy to see that the fans in Nashville have embraced this team and the sport of hockey.

The Preds have made the playoffs 7 out of their 13 years of exsitance and last year, they even won their 1st ever playoffs series, defeating the Anaheim Ducks in the first round.  Also that season, they had 16 regular season sell-outs and 6 sell-outs during the playoffs.

Well played, Music City.

We love hockey almost as much as we love country music!

Well, last night, I had the chance to watch the Preds take on the Wings in game 3 of their series.  Although the Preds are seeded #4 to the Wings’ #5, you know this is going to be a tough series, but I’m really liking the Preds chances in this one.

Pekka Rinne is a freak of nature a la Zdeno Chara and should not be as atlethic and quick as he is.

He is 6’5″!  He’s a goalie! It boggles the mind.

So very tall.

Martin Erat is playing well.  Paul Gaustad and David Legwand are well over 50% in face-off wins.  Shea Weber and Ryan Suter are doing a great job of shutting down Zetterberg, Datsyuk and all the other offensive talent that the Wings have.  They are arguably one of the best defensive pairings in the NHL.  (Chara & Seidenberg are the best.  Sorry, I’m biased)

They have some great young players, especially Gabriel Bourque, who scored this beaut last night.

KNEE DROP. SNIPE.

It also helps that the Predators have two Boston University Terriers on their roster – Brandon Yip and Foxy Friday honoree, Colin Wilson. As a tried and true Terrier, my blood runs scarlet and white and seeing two very talented former college players from my alma mater get the chance to play in the NHL makes me appreciate this team even more.

So for the remainder of their playoff run, I’ll be rooting for the blue and gold, much to Gator’s dismay.  She’s already mad at me because of the Bruins/Caps series and now this one, too.

What can I say?  I’m digging the Predators.

Perhaps I’ll have to invest in NHL Center Ice next year, after all….

No, no. Thank YOU.

I missed 24/7 last night because I fell asleep re-watching Fright Night with Colin Farrell.  I mean he’s in the movie, he wasn’t with me.  And the movie’s great.  But I will have to catch up on the Rangers/Flyers this weekend, and from the sound of your Tweets there is plenty worth watching!

Another thing I’ve missed up until now is the NHL All-Star Game voting.

I restricted my choices to people currently playing.  Obviously I believe Crosby should be in – he was more of an all-star in his few games this year than most people are in a whole season.  But if he’s well, he’ll get in.  (See the leaderboard here.)   I deliberately sent my votes where they can count.

1) Nicklas Backstrom – If Ovi gets in and Nicky doesn’t, someone will receive a strongly worded letter written in cut-out magazine letters.

2) Jonathan Toews – scored his 300th career point last night, overall superstar and BAMF.  You don’t see a lake named after anyone else.

3) James Neal – needs no explanation. HONK!

4) Duncan Keith – Did you see him rob Matt Cullen on a shorthanded breakaway last night?  Norris Trophy, what?

5) Shea Weber – 100+ MPH shot, massive blocking body, all-star playoff beard, friends with Dierks Bentley.  Scored from the cheap seats (and we mean in the net!).  Haven’t seen it?  Puck Daddy has it, they always do [link].

6) Marc-Andre Fleury – Forever holding it down in the back, never knowing who might be available to stand in front of him every night.  And for the off chance he’ll spin like a ballerina or sass Carey Price.

You can vote up to 30 times at vote.nhl.com.  I’ll let you guys win the trip to Ottawa, because I’ll be on my honeymoon until that Saturday. I’m missing the draft and  skills competitions in real-time, so Chuck will have to man the Twitter and express all of my squee-tastic opinions.

I Googled this photo, which led me to another WUYS post. Of course.

oh boy, watcha gonna do know?

I’m leaving him for YOU. Cue Adele. Well. I heard a rumor that DDTBG was holding out for more dough, ah, I mean signing with the Kings because he was waiting to see what Shea Weber was going to do during his arbitration. Why you ask? Well the mill said he felt he was on par with the mighty Weber and what he could get, DDTBG could get or more.

7.5 million dollar man

I say, Weber hasn’t been touched by god – he may be touched by a mighty beard in play-off times, a slap shot that would put fear in many a goalie, many of our loyal readers may want to touch him – cue Samatha Fox – yes I WENT THERE! For those of you who have NO IDEA WTF I’m talking about -she was Ke$ha before, well just watch for yourself. But ah, not feeling the comparison. And I’ll leave it at that. Not touching it with a ten-foot pole because everyone knows how much I LOVE DDTBG.

Now the Hockey Gods have spoken, I don’t think it’s quite what DDTBG was hoping for; 7.5 million and a one year contract.  While that may buy DDTBG a whole lot of IN N OUT BURGERS, it’s not the golden ticket to security I think he was hoping for with the KINGS, or should I say, the golden throne, the golden contract, the golden crown, OK, I think you get the analogy.

Now he’s caught between Timmy the Tank and a goal post and that’s not a good place to be. Vancouver knows how that feels!

hard times... hard times are comin'

RIP, Shea Weber’s beard, aka Webeard.

We’re gonna miss ya, buddy.

*poursoneoutforherhomey*

Battle of the Foxy Fridays...and their facial hair.

What do you guys want to talk about today?

The Canucks win.  Somewhere Shea Weber’s beard defeats all attempts to be removed.  That thing had a building permit and poured a foundation, it’s going to be a hot summer in wherever Shea is from.  Ryan Kessler ditches the secret identity ruse and goes full-on super hero.  DUH.

Fear that Beard.

San Jose drops another one to the Wings.  It’s okay, no one is watching.  There’s plenty of other stuff going on to distract everyone while you play game 6 tonight.

Hangover II

The Bruins/Lightning series is not yet scheduled.  They’ve all gotten advance degrees in thumb-twiddling during the break.  Seriously San Jose, no one is waiting for you to finish.  Take your time.

Sitting, waiting, wishing...

But this is hardly news and frankly, quite boring.  So today, this instead.

GOATS!

Game 6 in Nashville is tonight after the Preds dropped the Red Wings 4-3 over the weekend.  In a related story, it’s a good thing the Preds fly charter because I’m not sure this beard would pass airport security:

With glasses?  Please stop.  He’s making a bid to be Mike Green’s Sensitive New Age Defenseman (SNAD) partner.  He looks like he has one last paper to finish before he can graduate with that degree in Dead Languages.  Either that or he’s on the lam after robbing a bank and attempting to fool facial recognition software.

Shea Weber’s beard was interviewed before and after the Preds’ 1-0 loss to Vancouver in Game 1.  I cannot express how much I want Nashville to win.  Not only do I hate the Canucks (especially now, PTSD!) but we need more time for this to reach its full potential:

I can’t seem to link to the Preds TV interview, but you can find it on the homepage of NHL.com.  They too are fascinated with the beard.

A beard is an excellent accessory for looking disappointed or frustrated.  It’s got gravitas, right?  Pretty soon it’ll be moving into a bunker in the Canadian wilderness, stocked full of canned goods and ammunition.