What's Up, Ya Sieve

My pretty pony comes up with the shoot out score!

I told Mr. Cherrie, the Penguins have won because everyone knows Lou goes down. And even Kevin Weeks is in love with Kris Letang – “He’s silky…” WTF? Does he know something we don’t? Oh well, I’ll share him.

It’s time to predict the eventual winners for the 2011-2012 season, so we can look smart and important when spring rolls around.  Or not.  Last year we all picked some combo of the Caps, Blackhawks, Canucks and Penguins [link].  That 25% result is less than the chance that Intern Jeff Skinner’s going to take you to the prom.  So here we go again:

CHUCK:

Eastern Conference Finals: Bruins vs. Capitals

Eastern Conference Champs: Bruins

Western Conference Finals: Canucks vs. Kings

Western Conference Champs: Kings

Stanley Cup Champs: Bruins

We all know that repeating as champs is nigh impossible though in the NHL these days, but the Bruins only lost two players to free agency (Kaberle & Ryder) and 1 to retirement (Recchi).  The heart and soul of the Bruins are still here.  Bruins have arguably the best and deepest set of forwards in the game and can get production from all 4 lines.  Plus, let’s not forget that you have Tuukka Rask, a top-notch goalie in his own right, backing up Thomas.

Kings are my dark horse team.  After picking up Mike Richards and Simon Gagne and resigning Drew Doughty, the Kings look to be a serious contender in the Western Conference. They have good young netminder in Jonathan Quick and if Gagne and Anze Kopitar can stay healthy, they could be the team to watch.

PANTS

Eastern Conference finals: Penguins vs. Capitals

Eastern Conference Champs: Penguins

Western Conference finals: Canucks vs. Sharks

Western Conference Champs: Canucks

Stanley Cup Champs: Penguins

Like everyone else, I think the Capitals will be a force to reckon with this season.  It’s (mostly) selfish hope that they will carry it all the way into the playoffs, so I can have the longest hockey season ever.  But I think the Pens will be strong early with Malkin and Staal in, and maybe James Neal will get his scoring touch back.  The Return of Crosby will be like Willy Wonka somersaulting down the orange carpet to greet his lucky minions at the gate.  Chocolate Stanley Cups for everyone!

Much like the Caps, I think the Sharks are long overdue for a dominating post-season performance.  They’ve won their division the last four years in a row and made it to the Conference finals the last two years.  Ultimately I don’t see them beating Vancouver, but I think they can do better than last May’s 4-1 failfest.

So, let’s hear it – who are your picks to have a great 2011-2012?  Feel free to shamelessly back your favorite teams – we obviously have.  Don’t hate us because they’re awesome.

Ryan Kesler in ESPN Magazine’s annual “The Body” issue.

You know the part in National Treasure when they light the little pool of oil and it spreads 10,000 feet of fire and illuminates a gazillion dollars in gold and stuff?  That’s what happened to the internet when this picture was posted.  You’re gonna have to wait a bit for the wallpaper-size version.

In another edition of players we can only like until the season starts… Ryan Kesler will appear nude in ESPN Magazine’s “The Body” issue.

More than 20 athletes will do the soap opera strategically-cover-your-business to pose for the annual issue – here’s the list [link].

Kes wanted to get a jump on the competition, so he posed with a fan.  This is like Chuck Norris selling the BowFlex – what a crock.  Some people are just born this way.  Kes spends more time on that hair than these abs and you, normal man in glasses, can only hope to warm your flab in the glow of his superhuman abilities.

Not that Kes does’t pay the price:

Whoever lived in my apartment before us still gets ESPN Magazine, and to that stranger I say thanks.  You could have cleaned behind the fridge before you left but I will accept this subscription instead.

@GreenFan52 (sounds like my kinda person!) suggested KB3 for this week’s Foxy Friday honor.  What do you think?

He hits (104 in 66 games this season).  On occasion he fights (3 this year… wait, he fought Patrick Marleau?!).  Mostly he’s just Juice and for every second you hate him, you can’t help but love him too.  He’s a joker and a spaz and totally in love with Ryan Kesler.

Kevin Bieksa is what Sean Avery dreams about.  He’s a pain in the ass instigator type who won’t back down and throws other teams’ top offense off their game.  He’s effective.  He’s intentional.  And he’s smart.  Bieksa was +32 this season.  That’s tied for 2nd overall.

And if the stats, the jokes and the personality don’t convince you, well…

Daniel gave me this new suckie on the first day of training!

Mike Duco formerly of the Florida Panthers got traded to Vancouver. If you were him – you’d think JACK POT – right? Going from a basement dwelling team – well – before they spent a boat load of cash and made some mad trades – to an almost Stanley Cup winning team. Not a bad place to be traded too – right?

Now consider that fact that you may have tweeted some of the following things during the play-offs:

Can't send a 'please ignore' out after that one!

He also posted one that said, “HA … solid night Luongo.”

So it’s your first day at training camp with all your new friends. What’s a boy to do? I bet he didn’t write the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” But I would guess he needs a copy of that stat because Luongo wasn’t too kind to Kesler after the Olympics but he did forgive him. He kind of had too. Kesler is way too hot not too.

It may not be charm, but it might work!

But Duco? Let’s hope he has charm coming out his ass. He’ll need it. Good luck buddy on your first day. I hear the Sedin’s have a wicked sense of humor.

NHL.com reports that Kevin Bieksa is getting a new 5-year, $23 million contract from Vancouver [link].  All together now… DUH.

Despite our general dislike of the Canucks, we’ve got a soft spot for Juice.  He’s a total ham.  We bet he cracks himself up the way we do, when no one else is around, about something that would make no sense if you had to explain.

Plus he scored 5 goals + 5 assists in the playoffs, and was not very nice to Jonathan Toews (or anyone else).  The man is an absolute beast.  He’s also in a long-term committed relationship with his hetero life partner, Ryan Kesler.  So they both have good taste in guys.

Their kids are going to get married someday, and then it’ll be all… okay, we tried.  We can’t think of a single movie where childhood friends grow up to get married.  Isn’t that every movie?  What is wrong with us?

Those are some good cooties.

Anyway, Juice is here to stay.  And Vancouver will continue to pain us every year as a hockey juggernaut.  At least they’ll never be boring.

“The Bruins have won the Stanley Cup!”

We are the Champions!

Those words will live with me for the rest of my life.

For the first time since 1972, the Black and Gold have won the most beauteous and shiniest of all trophies in professional sports.  The Bruins defeated the Vancouver Canucks, a team which lead the regular season in points, were a #1 seed and stacked with undoubtedly offensive talent like the Sedin twins and Ryan Kesler.

But when it comes to winning the Stanley Cup, stuff like that don’t matter.

What matters is Heart.  Soul.  Grit.  Grime.  Desire.

A desire that is a slowly burning fire in the hearts of each and every one of these players since they were old enough to skate.

For the Boston Bruins, that fire started in Prague at the beginning of the season.

It smoldered throughout the months, through each long road trip, overtime win,  and shoot out loss.

The sparks started to pop and crackle during the first round of the playoffs versus the Canadians.

The fire began to grow with the sweep of the Flyers  and the emotional victory over the Lightning in the Eastern Conference Finals.

When the Stanley Cup Finals began, that fire was burning bright and hot, but it IGNITED because of one hit.

Aaron Rome’s crushing hit on Nathan Horton in Game 3 was akin to pouring a can of lighter fluid on a campfire.

Once minute you’re slowing roasting marshmallows and the next, you are plucking blackened, charred, nobs of sugary goo off your sharpened branch.

That hit changed something in the Bruins.  It made them angry.  Vancouver’s post game jawing and comments to the press only fueled the fire more.

All season, the Bs played better when they were down, when people counted them out.  They crushed the Canucks in games 3, 4, and 6, and games 1, 2, and 5 were only one goal losses.

The Finals gave the decided advantage to the home team, but the Bruins were a team that would not be denied.

With the exception of a couple of minor penalties and sloppy turnovers, the Bruins played a perfect Game 7.  It was controlled yet intense.  All four of the Bruins lines were churning and working hard to shut down the Canucks, as they’d done the whole series.

Tim Thomas cemented his legacy in the pantheon of Boston sports and became the oldest player ever to win the Conn Smythe as the playoff MVP.

The Bruins defense, led by Zdeno Chara and the exceedingly underrated Dennis Seidenberg, created ghosts of the Sedins and the rest of the Canucks forwards.

Mark Recchi, at 43 years young, won his 3rd Stanley Cup, and promptly retired.  The guy is class all the way and because of him, Patrice Bergeron, Brad Marchand, and Tyler Seguin will be the future of the Boston Bruins.

What happened last night will be etched into the memories of every Bruins fan everywhere and with this victory, my beloved city truly stakes its claim as the “City of Champions”.  7 titles in 11 years.

7/11.

A slurpee sounds pretty good right about now.

But only if I get to drink it from the Cup.

Well, here we are.

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

Bruins vs. Canucks.

East vs. West.

Bear vs. Orca.

For fans of both teams, tonight will be a special game.  History will be made.

Bruins have the opportunity to win their first Cup in 39 years.  Canucks have the chance to win their first Cup ever.

Through 82 regular season games and 3 rounds of intense playoff action, both teams have battled and bled for hockey glory.  They felled hated foes, only to create new ones with a single bite.

They’ve been concussed, cut, punched, slashed, some within an inch of their lives, only to emerge a roaring beast full of fire and determination and sheer will.

Tonight….someone wins the Cup.

We all know where my loyalties lie.  My blood runs Black and Gold.  For those that know me, they know that my love for this great sport and for the Bruins is not fairweather.  It is a deep, pure love, one that has sustained itself season after season, through every victory and every heart-wrenching defeat.

At 8pm EST, I’ll be sitting on my couch with my fingers and my toes and my hair crossed.  My roommate has graciously agreed to have a defibrilator ready.  I’ve already warned her that I may cry.

Oh and a fun fact about tonight…tonight, there will be a lunar eclipse.

Last time there was a lunar eclipse…it was Oct. 27, 2004…the day the Red Sox broke the curse and won the World Series.

Just saying…

I can be open-minded and empathetic – while I am rooting for Vancouver, I’m not blind that for Chuck and Cassy and some of our other loyal readers, this is a, uh, how shall a put this, more passionate endeavor.

For me, I love the Stanley Cup Play-Offs right now because we are getting to see a rare sight. Two pretty even matched teams which makes it come down to a coaching mastermind of match-ups. Which is why home-ice advantage is key. As a hockey-lover, this is truly one of the most beautiful Stanley Cup play-offs because I’m not emotionally involved so I can actually watch from a more technical view-point; to appreciate the amazing coaching on each side and how they match each line and each skilled player, shift for shift when it REALLY matters.

So Boston fans, I wish the last game was just a bad dream and I hope Monday goes much better.